Harry Potter: Funniest Quotes
Found any hilarious quotes in the Harry Potter series? Add them to this thread, along with a comment on why you love it. Any quotes that are specific to Severus Snape can go in the Snape Forum. It would be helpful to include the book and chapter of each quote so that others can find it.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 3
(After Dumbledore has arrived at the Dursley's)
'I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment,' Dumbledore said to Uncle Vernon, 'but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness.'
The irony here being that it is none other than Dumbledore himself who has turned up fairly unannounced at somebody's house, yet he calmly demolishes the Dursleys for their incredible rudeness.
This is one of the sassiest moment for Harry that I wish could have been included in the books.
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That, and Kingsley Shacklebolt:
I had forgotten the comic value of Professor Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Here is his response to Harry's flying car debacle:
"Gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I?" said Lockhart. "Gave you the bug. You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again."
Chapter 6, p95
The Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets movie did an excellent job of portraying Gilderoy Lockhart's fraudulence and self-aggrandisement. I love his little "me".
Life advice from Ron Weasley:
"Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world."
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 9, p153
‘Snape!’ ejaculated Slughorn
HBP Chapter 29- Phoenix's Lament
Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees.
Philosopher's Stone Chapter 11-Quidditch
‘Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?’ said Ron.
It took me years before I got it right 😂
GOF Chapter 13 - Mad Eye Moody
