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Getting mannerisms and dialogue down, mainly for Snape

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I hope I'm not posting a similar thread to one that already exists.

So I'm at a point where I'm going back to the books as a refresher to better write Snape. I wanted to post this to see if anyone had additional tips when studying the character? As a start, I'm highlighting every mention and/or scene with Snape and setting them aside. It works for me.

Also, we of course don't know everything about him - so at what point do you just make your own decisions about him, what he'd do and say? Hopefully this all makes sense.

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HeatherllySanctuaryAngelThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaDark AngelJaySM

I think eventually it comes naturally ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’š after years of loving and reading books (almost 40 times in 23 years ๐Ÿ˜‚) by now it's like it's part of my everyday life.
I can advise you to read more than once is carefully books and then your imagination will take over๐Ÿ˜‰

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HeatherllyThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaDark AngelSlayInterwovenMadnessJaySM

Reading other fanfics that feature a well characterized Snape is also useful. Although, a lot of fics do create their own Severus which isn't necessarily bad but I often see fans having him swear a lot which is ooc for canon adult Snape.

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HeatherllyThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaSlayJaySM

I don't write so I don't know much about how to write Snape.

I can only advise to read the canon books and highlight the parts involving Snape and try to notice his body language, mannerisms and dialogues. Also useful to read Snape metas shared on this site to get a grip on character of Snape.

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HeatherllyThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalDark AngelSlayGiorgiaJaySM

I think instead of singling out small scenes that have Severus in the Harry Potter Books, I suggest you create a character worksheet for him, especially if you are writing a story. The book I recommend to help is "The Psychology Work book for Writersโ€ย  by Darian Smith. It has several worksheets where you can go really in depth with a character, understand them in and out, so in the event that your character encounters a new scenario you don't think "Let's look back in the books and see what Severus Do" that would be both time consuming and unhelpful because the Harry Potter books are not from Severus's point of view and we are only getting a warped perception from Harry. I sincerely think that if you did a character worksheet on him, separate from the story, you wouldn't have to ask yourself what Severus would do or how he would already react. You would already know.

Hope that helps.

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HeatherllySanctuaryAngelThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaSlayInterwovenMadness

Honestly, it takes time to get him right. Time and writing experience.

Before I started writing Severus, I made sure I re-read and researched everything I could about his personality, mannerisms, and prominent traits, and then going deeper into his psychological responses, i.e. fear and trauma. His triggers. His dry, stoic, dark humor.

Also understanding the many sides to him, and how different he interacts with different individuals, or with different roles.

Professor Snape is definitely not the same as Order Snape or Death Eater Snape. And because he plays so many different roles because he has to, it's trying to find his true personality amongst all of the masks he has to wear. That is the challenging part.

Often I draw much of his truthful personality by looking at the way he interacts with certain people, and in my opinion, the only one who knows the truth of him is Albus Dumbledore. I look at those conversations carefully, especially in memories where it is just the two of them talking. Because that is probably the truest side of him we'd ever get to see, which is also his more emotional side. I look at memories where he is alone, i.e.Him crying over Lily's letter. I look at the way he sidesteps the truth, i.e. His conversation with Bellatrix in the Unbreakable Vow chapter. I look at the way he demeans his students in the classroom, and what he deems unacceptable. I look at his trauma responses where the Marauders are concerned, and when he faces both Remus and Sirius over time - that deep-seated pain that he can never overcome because as long as they are around him in some way, he can't heal from it.

And mannerisms - does he pace when he's stressed? Does he flex his fingers? Roll his eyes? How often does he snarl? In what situations does he remain calm, and what is his posture like when is angry or calm? How does he enunciate his words? What words does he use often? His vocabulary is very important to his personality.

And then the other big thing is, in what time period were you planning on writing him in? Severus in PS is vastly different from OotP Snape, and HBP Snape. And post-War Snape is a whole other world. But keeping him IC is challenging depending on what new situations and problems you throw him into. Sometimes it is difficult to predict because he can be unpredictable. He has to keep us guessing, which is how JKR wrote him, and he can go in so many different ways.

But lots of practice and feedback will also help. It's hard to gauge what he might do in a particular situation, but all we can do is the best we can to retain the essence of him, and what makes Snape who he is. His bitterness, his forked tongue, his occasional cruelty, his resentment, his morbidity, his passion in regard to what he enjoys, his studious nature, his analytical skills, blunt honesty, his dedication, his courage.

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The Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaSlayGiorgiaBitterBritInterwovenMadnessJaySM
Quote from Dark Angel on June 20, 2023, 2:16 pm

Although, a lot of fics do create their own Severus which isn't necessarily bad but I often see fans having him swear a lot which is ooc for canon adult Snape.

I actually don't think this is OOC for several reasons:

  1. We almost always see Snape through Harry's POV, which means he's in a professional setting. More specifically, he's a teacher interacting with students... it would make sense for him to mind his language in that context, though that doesn't necessarily mean he self censors in all situations. Hell, most of the teachers I know swear like sailors when they're off the clock.
  2. Even when we do see him interact strictly with adults, he also has reasons not to curse up a storm. The scene at Spinner's End is a good example, as I'm sure he's painfully conscious of the class difference between him and Narcissa/Bellatrix and wouldn't want to sound too "common".
  3. We can't know for sure whether adult Snape used profanity, considering that the series was written for children/young adults. That kind of language wouldn't have been included, regardless, which (IMO) allows for more creative freedom in fanfiction. We can't say he did swear, but we also can't say he didn't. Hell, for all we know, JKR's first draft read "fuckheads" but the publisher made her change it to "dunderheads". ๐Ÿ˜‚

My personal headcanon is that he spent years learning how to sound more educated/proper, which is reflected in the way he speaks around his students, colleagues, and adults he respects, needs to impress, etc. That said, I like to imagine that that mask slips from time to time, especially in situations where he doesn't have to monitor himself so closely. He is, after all, a working class boy from a dirt poor background. Himย  unleashing a few swear words here and there feels perfectly in character to me (and is lots of fun to write). ๐Ÿ™‚

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SanctuaryAngelThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaSlayGiorgiaJaySM
Quote from Heatherlly on June 21, 2023, 1:51 am
Quote from Dark Angel on June 20, 2023, 2:16 pm

Reading other fanfics that feature a well characterized Snape is also useful. Although, a lot of fics do create their own Severus which isn't necessarily bad but I often see fans having him swear a lot which is ooc for canon adult Snape.

I actually don't think this is OOC for several reasons:

  1. We almost always see Snape through Harry's POV, which means he's in a professional setting. More specifically, he's a teacher interacting with students... it would make sense for him to mind his language in that context, though that doesn't necessarily mean he self censors in all situations. Hell, most of the teachers I know swear like sailors when they're off the clock.
  2. Even when we do see him interact strictly with adults, he also has reasons not to curse up a storm. The scene at Spinner's End is a good example, as I'm sure he's painfully conscious of the class difference between him and Narcissa/Bellatrix and wouldn't want to sound too "common".
  3. We can't know for sure whether adult Snape used profanity, considering that the series was written for children/young adults. That kind of language wouldn't have been included, regardless, which (IMO) allows for more creative freedom in fanfiction. We can't say he did swear, but we also can't say he didn't. Hell, for all we know, JKR's first draft read "fuckheads" but the publisher made her change it to "dunderheads". ๐Ÿ˜‚

My personal headcanon is that he spent years learning how to sound more educated/proper, which is reflected in the way he speaks around his students, colleagues, and adults he respects, needs to impress, etc. That said, I like to imagine that that mask slips from time to time, especially in situations where he doesn't have to monitor himself so closely. He is, after all, a working class boy from a dirt poor background. Himย  unleashing a few swear words here and there feels perfectly in character to me (and is lots of fun to write). ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh yes, in my headcanon Severus has learned to speak proper English without Nordic inflection thanks to Lucius and a few diction lessons!
Also, when he is particularly nervous or agitated, his lovely Nordic inflection might come out along with some swear words, as you pointed out, he remains a man from a working class background.

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HeatherllySanctuaryAngelThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaSlayJaySM
Quote from Heatherlly on June 21, 2023, 1:51 am
Quote from Dark Angel on June 20, 2023, 2:16 pm

Although, a lot of fics do create their own Severus which isn't necessarily bad but I often see fans having him swear a lot which is ooc for canon adult Snape.

I actually don't think this is OOC for several reasons:

  1. We almost always see Snape through Harry's POV, which means he's in a professional setting. More specifically, he's a teacher interacting with students... it would make sense for him to mind his language in that context, though that doesn't necessarily mean he self censors in all situations. Hell, most of the teachers I know swear like sailors when they're off the clock.
  2. Even when we do see him interact strictly with adults, he also has reasons not to curse up a storm. The scene at Spinner's End is a good example, as I'm sure he's painfully conscious of the class difference between him and Narcissa/Bellatrix and wouldn't want to sound too "common".
  3. We can't know for sure whether adult Snape used profanity, considering that the series was written for children/young adults. That kind of language wouldn't have been included, regardless, which (IMO) allows for more creative freedom in fanfiction. We can't say he did swear, but we also can't say he didn't. Hell, for all we know, JKR's first draft read "fuckheads" but the publisher made her change it to "dunderheads". ๐Ÿ˜‚

My personal headcanon is that he spent years learning how to sound more educated/proper, which is reflected in the way he speaks around his students, colleagues, and adults he respects, needs to impress, etc. That said, I like to imagine that that mask slips from time to time, especially in situations where he doesn't have to monitor himself so closely. He is, after all, a working class boy from a dirt poor background. Himย  unleashing a few swear words here and there feels perfectly in character to me (and is lots of fun to write). ๐Ÿ™‚

And to add a small thing to this - Severus swore at James during SWM, hence why James used Scourgify on him. I think since that incident, he took a little more care not to swear in public settings since that event was traumatising enough for him.

Although I like to think adult Severus swears to himself when no one's around. I imagine him saying 'for fucks sake' under his breath when a student is messing around in class, or something, hehe

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HeatherllyThe Gestalt PrinceKrystalNaagaSlayGiorgiaBitterBritJaySM

@sk-kjrn One of the most important things to keep in mind is that Harry is an unreliable narrator. We cannot fully trust his perceptions of Snape, which are heavily biased and rooted in dislike. He emphasizes Snape's "worst" qualities and often misinterprets his actions/behavior. You have to account for that bias and try to see past the "Harry filter" in order to write him fairly/objectively.

With that in mind, I suggest you study the Spinner's End chapter at the beginning of HBP, which is by far the best example of an objectively written canon Snape. Pay close attention, both to his physical description and behavior... see how differently he's portrayed when we're not seeing him through Harry's eyes.

Beyond that, the best I can say is, "don't overthink it". We all write Severus a bit differently, and none of those versions are 100% right or wrong. It's all about how you see the character, and at the end of the day, no one else can define that for you.

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