Do you think Severus would be able to love again after Lily?
Let us analyze one aspect of Severus' personality.
Do you think he would be able to love another woman or man after Lily?
Of course I am the first to want to give a happy ending and a well-deserved rest to our beloved after a life of sacrifice, pain and abuse.
But reasoning rationally, putting aside our own desires and affection for him, could Severus love in a mature and healthy way a woman or a man?
I think he would have to resolve many of his personal demons first; I don't think love can be the cure for everything, especially when it comes to deep, visceral trauma related to abuse and bullying.
After he resolves his issues... (assuming he decides to go to a specialist, and I have my doubts) would he be able to find the strength to open his heart again?
Would he not feel that he has lived too much? That he could not give something satisfying to a possible partner?
I fear that these doubts would block him to the point of rejecting even the most intense feelings toward a possible partner.
He should find someone who is supportive and extremely patient.
Deep in my heart I wish that 💚 although life most of the time is not fair and finding someone who does not run away in the face of life's adversities or a person with problems is very difficult.
What is your opinion?
Yes, I believe Snape would've been able to find someone other to love. My favourite ship for Snape is SnOC where he is paired with original characters because I don't think the features you described required by the girl Snape needed were ever present in a character in canon.
Snape's refusal to move on was more of his guilt and trauma not love for Lily as per my understanding. He was suicidal after Potters death and his protecting Harry was only purpose keeping him going.
So if he finds another person, someone cheerful, patient, empathetic and giving him the love he deserves, I am pretty sure he would fell hard for her/him and gradually improve as the void in his heart is filled by love. The early relationship will be hardest but the fun of watching it is Snape falling for someone other than Lily and giving his love to someone who actually deserves it.
I doubt he would find happiness though. He would first need therapy to overcome his own trauma and to learn what a healthy relationship looks like but as mentioned, he isn't the type to seek help and back then, mental health issues weren't as acknowledged as they are today.
I also believe that he would always feel guilty that he is living while Lily is dead. He wouldn't be able to enjoy himself even if he found someone suitable because his conscience would always remind him that Lily was stripped of everything life had in store for her because of him.
I think the fanfic Post War by JosieCarioca is such a great and fairly realistic fic about Severus moving on from Lily. There's a lot in it about him dealing with trauma and his self-doubt. Evelyn doesn't always understand why he is the way he is, and it does cause some problems, but she cares about him, so they figure stuff out.
I love how he slowly starts visiting different places that he used to frequent with Lily just to remember her, and you can almost feel his heart healing when he invites Evelyn to join him (although he doesn't fully explain it to her). It was beautifully written. In the story he does feels guilty and ashamed, like he's betraying Lily somehow by wanting to be with someone else. He chalks it up to being stupid, though, since he never even dated her. When he finally opens up to Evelyn about Lily, she does end up getting a bit jealous. They work it out. At least, I think they do. The story isn't finished yet
So yes, I do believe that he could move on if he met the right person. They might be very hard to find, but I do believe people like that exist
This @namesakesnake, you perfectly explained it. That fic is my favourite SnOC fic for that reason because it realistically deals with Snape moving on.
I do think it would be possible in a postwar setting, but only if he could fully accept that he'd done everything he could to atone for Lily's death. That's the one thing that would allow him to let go and move on, though whether or not he'd want to is the bigger question. Of course, there are plenty of plausible ways to make that happen in fanfiction (I've done it myself), but canonically speaking? I'm not so sure. Severus loved Lily for nearly all his life, a love that ran far deeper than guilt/remorse and sustained him for decades. I don't see him letting go of that (or even wanting to) without something comparatively powerful to replace it with. What would be the chances of him finding anything like that when (again, canonically speaking) he'd have little to no motivation to seek it out? Realistically speaking, I think he would've clung to Lily's memory for the rest of his days.
@giosnape I adjusted the thread title and moved this topic to "All Things Snape". The Meta/Analysis Section is typically used to share/discuss writings from outside sources. 🙂
Personally I figured that Snape got stuck on Lily for 2 reasons:
* He failed to properly resolve his feelings with her. This caused an inability to easily move on. This has happened to myself at one point, so it's totally a thing -- I had feelings for someone, which seemed to be reciprocated (which was a first at that point in my life), but failed to bring it up before she abruptly left my life for unrelated reasons. Combined with a self-esteem of near-zero and serious bullying in my early teenage years, the feelings got sort of stuck for a time.
* He was in a war situation where he kinda had to put emotions on hold in favour of the war effort.
I believe that had he survived the war, he'd have been able to properly face his feelings for Lily and resolve them, maybe helped by talking to Harry about her, something Harry would desperately want. So after the war he'd be able to move on.
I do believe he could have moved on during the war itself if a romantic prospect showed up in his life, but without any such thing, he'd do it either way but only after the war.
I agree with everyone's points.
Severus would have never been able to get over Lily during the War as she would have always been his reminder as to why he was fighting for the cause she believed in and to honor the life she lost, whilst also dealing with the self-blame and guilt that came with that. There is so much heavy baggage to deal with, and neither of that is resolvable whilst Voldemort is alive, and Harry's life remains in danger.
In a post war scenario, yes, I believe he can. But it will not ne easy and may take many years after he's allowed himself to finally grieve, and recover in his own solitude. I do not see him willingly acceoting therapy due to his stubborness, but with the support of friends and colleagues, he may learn to let a select few back into his life.
He wouldn't be the type to want a relationship, so developing a slow friendship with someone who is kind, considerate, patient and genuine, may open up that path for him as he learns to heal the damaged parts of himself, and bring down those walls he's built for himself. But that someone cannot be persistant and overbearing to him, and allow him to open up in his own time, when he feels safe enough with that person, at his own pace.
He'll be a broken man, but finding a love who is empathetic with him is crucial. He needs that support and the notion that he does not have to be alone anymore. Once he realises Lily was a chapter he cannot alter, beautiful things will happen once that acceptance finally settles in.
He needs somone who will listen to his silence, and never ignore it, or abandon him in such a difficult time 💕 You will never find someone like that in canon, who is compatible to him.
(Hence why I designed Dawn the way I did. She is essentially what Lily should have been)
Yeah. It would take work on his part to move on, some therapy or self-help. Or both. Besides what happened with Lily, there would be quite a few things to tackle and heal from. I think it's great that he does feel his negative emotions, even if he's a wall with most people. As long as he's willing to work on it, I think he could get the help he needs and move on. Wish he'd also have a support system.
Besides the guilt, he might have also been looking for closure, which was one reason he helped HP. Whether it was for her death or even the fallout during school. So I also wonder if even he did secretly fall in love with someone else, would he wait for the closure first, and not move on until he did what he believed was right. Not to mention the self-doubt.
CW: Mentions of suicide.
Honestly, I think this man is unable to not love. There is not a single other character in the whole series who loves as deeply and unconditionally as Severus does and his soul will always latch on to someone, he cannot keep himself from loving forever. Doesn't necessarily need to be a romantic love but he WILL love - if he stays alive for long enough.
Because that's the bigger problem I see with him. In a Snape-survives-scenario directly after the war, I see him as pretty suicidal. He's had one purpose in life and he's fulfilled it so he is left with a void. There is nothing for him to do anymore. No goal to strive for, nothing to return to. He always loathed teaching so he probably would refuse to go back to Hogwarts, especially after the year as a headmaster. So before I can think about a possible love interest for him, I'd have to think of something that keeps him going until he's had time to figure out what he wants to do with this life he didn't expect to have.
Maybe a potted plant or a familiar or something... 😆
But IF he finds a reason to go on for long enough, then yes, I think he will eventually love again. It would need a lot of time and a person who accepts him how he is but who can set boundaries as well because getting closer to him will be a battle and that can wear you down pretty quickly. And that person would have to understand that Lily will always be a part of him and a part of who is and needs to be fine with that because they know that there is a kind of love that will never leave you.
And that that doesn't mean you're unable to love someone else ever again. Love is not a seat that is taken and has to be cleared before another love can settle down on it. Every person has the potential to bring in their own seat and the love you develop for them is allowed to stay on that seat forever without diminishing the weight of another love you feel. That is a thing that Severus himself needs to understand ("you don't have to choose between loving Lily and loving this new person") and if he finds someone who is able and willing to make him understand, then yes, I see him able to love someone else as well. But understanding that he doesn't need to let go of Lily is a vital part of that process, I think. He needs to make peace with what he did and how everything played out, he needs to close that chapter, but he doesn't need to let her go. It's absolutely fine if she stays a part of who he is forever.
So, I think he'd need someone with a lot of what we call Fingerspitzengefühl, a sense of sensitivity when dealing with him, his antics, his problems, his way of thinking and acting and a deep understanding of why he is how he is - and a lack of need to heal or change him. Severus needs to experience acceptance for who he is and how he is (for the first time ever...) before he can develop a healthy drive to get better.
And if he finds himself caring for someone (or something...), that will help him tremendously to develop the wish to get better and to make better decisions for his life because 'I want them to be happy and they probably won't be happy if I die so I guess I need to eat at least once a day... Oh noes!' 😆
