"Omnia Habens - L.E. Version" (Severus Snape/Lily Evans) E
Quote from Bol_Stark on July 14, 2024, 3:49 pmPairings: Severus/Lily
Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans
Ratings/Warnings: Explicit
Summary: At the end of his fifth year, Severus Snape is sure he has nothing left. An outcast in his own house, he knows the pureblood Slytherins only spend time with him because of his intelligence. And then, on their last night at Hogwarts, the Marauders decide to play one last prank on him as a farewell. After taking his only friend, they strip him of his last shred of dignity and Severus snaps. Now it's not just that he's outcast, he's also got his wand to worry about...But then something unexpected happens... And maybe he still has something left?
Warning: certain portions contain references to racism, child abuse, torture and other things.
WIP. All new chapters will be posted here before being posted on FFN and AO3 at a later time.
This work is an alternate version of Omnia Habens. Very special about this version is that the amazing @thegestaltprince is writing Lily Evans.
Table of Contents
Pairings: Severus/Lily
Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans
Ratings/Warnings: Explicit
Summary: At the end of his fifth year, Severus Snape is sure he has nothing left. An outcast in his own house, he knows the pureblood Slytherins only spend time with him because of his intelligence. And then, on their last night at Hogwarts, the Marauders decide to play one last prank on him as a farewell. After taking his only friend, they strip him of his last shred of dignity and Severus snaps. Now it's not just that he's outcast, he's also got his wand to worry about...
But then something unexpected happens... And maybe he still has something left?
Warning: certain portions contain references to racism, child abuse, torture and other things.
WIP. All new chapters will be posted here before being posted on FFN and AO3 at a later time.
This work is an alternate version of Omnia Habens. Very special about this version is that the amazing @thegestaltprince is writing Lily Evans.
Table of Contents
Quote from Bol_Stark on July 14, 2024, 3:52 pmNihil Habens - Or?
HogwartsSeverus' onyx eyes were warm and had a shine to them that even Lily had rarely seen in the past.
“You seem happy,” she whispered to him while a smile came to her own lips.
“And you’re surprised by that?” Even his voice was different, where in the past there was a cold and distant sound to it, it was now deep and warm.
“I don’t know… There was a time where I thought this would rather disgust you than make you happy.” As soon as she had said that, she both heard and felt how his hand connected with her bum, causing a small smirk to appear as she pressed herself more tightly against him.
“Since the day I first saw you, this is all I ever wanted,” he said as he closed her eyes.
"This?" Lily asked.
Severus felt how she pressed her ass against his hand, a teasing tone to her words. “Not just this…” he answered, his hand giving a gentle squeeze. “But you… Going to bed with you and falling asleep with you in my arms.”
“Hmm…” Lily hummed before he felt her lips against his own, her weight shifting as she moved on top of him and the blanket slid down along her bare back. “You living here with us was the best decision ever…”
The sun had set an hour ago, and he was beginning to regret leaving his cloak in his dormitory. Even though it was the beginning of summer, the wind in the Scottish Highlands was still harsh, and Hogwarts wasn't exempt from that. On the other hand, McKinnon had told him that Lily wanted to meet him at sunset, and not a moment later. After his disastrous attempt at an apology, Severus almost feared that it was really over. His best friend, his only friend, gone for good. He should have known that Lily would come around eventually and given him another chance, she wouldn’t give up on him because of a word uttered in anger and hurt.
Knowing that he had been given another chance, he was in a bit of a hurry to shower and put on some fresh clothes (clothes that were a bit too short for him, but more presentable than anything else he had in his trunk). He was sure he'd left his cloak on his bed, but somehow it was gone and he couldn't waste time looking for it. Lily could be gone if he was late, his chance of forgiveness ruined by a missing cloak.
But so far he hadn't seen a trace of Lily, and that was so unlike her. Even when they had argued in the past, she had always been punctual. But perhaps her Gryffindor friends were holding her back? Maybe they were trying to talk her out of talking to him again. He wouldn't be surprised.
"Look who we have here!" The sound of James Potter's voice made him turn in a quick movement.
"Looks like old Snivelly was waiting for someone..." Sirius Black said as he stepped next to Potter, and the predatory smile on his lips worried Severus. He could tell Black had come to target him until he was bored.
"Who would want to meet such a greasy dungeon snake?" Peter Pettigrew piped up and Severus felt his blood boil. When the boy was alone, he didn't dare look up from his feet, but as soon as Potter and Black were on his side, he thought he was a big bad guy that everyone should fear.
"Potter..." None of this was good and instinctively Severus moved his hand closer to his wand.
"It's not nice to greet only one person, Snivellus." The boy with the dishevelled hair and bespectacled face replied. A sneer played on his lips.
"Just as it's not nice to snoop on other people..." Severus drawled as he raised one of his eyebrows.
"But why, Snivelly, you accepted our invitation." A loud laugh followed Black's words and Severus' eyes widened in shock.
It was then that he understood that Lily hadn't wanted to meet him. That McKinnon had only set him up for the Marauders.To give them one last chance to torment him before they all left Hogwarts tomorrow for the summer holidays. How stupid had he been to trust that girl?!
The only hope Severus had at that moment was to take advantage of the moment of surprise and perhaps knock out at least one of them, which would make the duel a little more fair than it usually was.
"You set me up..." He had slowly wrapped his fingers around the handle of his wand. "I imagine McKinnon was more than happy to help with your little plan, wasn't she?"
"Oh yes, Marlene was very excited when we told her of our plan." Potter said with an arrogant smirk.
"I think anything that keeps you away from Evans makes Marlene a very happy and excited girl." Black added with one of his roaring laughs.
That was the moment Severus had been waiting for, immediately drawing his wand and shouting "Stupefy!" in an attempt to knock Black out before the Marauders could attack him.
"Protego!" It was Pettigrew who shouted the word, wand drawn, and to Severus' surprise the boy had actually been able to block his spell.
"Expelliarmus!" That little moment of surprise from Severus had been enough for Potter to draw his wand and use his favourite spell to disarm Severus.
It was the feeling of his wand slipping from his grasp that made Severus' eyes widen in shock, knowing that losing his wand was the worst thing that could have happened, especially so quickly.
"Incarcerous!" Black shouted, and Severus felt the conjured ropes wrap tightly around his body, binding his arms and legs so that he was unable to move, and hitting his body with such force that he quickly lost his balance and fell face first to the ground. A cracking sound was heard and as soon as he felt the pain, Severus knew his nose was broken again.
"Tell me, Snivelly..." Severus felt a boot hit his ribs before being shoved underneath him, turning him over so that he looked up at the sky, only for the sky to soon turn into brown eyes glittering with amusement. "Did you really think Evans would forgive you?"
"I..." Severus tried to say, but started to cough as the blood from his nose ran down his throat.
"You really did, didn't you?" Potter laughed in his face and shook his head. "That's why you were so easily persuaded to come here; you thought she would forgive you and all would be well between the two of you." Potter had a grin on his face, but within a second it turned into a scowl and Severus felt a boot hit his ribs again.
"As if she would waste her time with you again, Snivellus." Black laughed loudly. "Not even your kicked puppy act will fool her now, you showed your true colours after enough prodding." There was a manic gleam in the Gryffindor's grey eyes.
"You –" Severus said, only to be kicked in the ribs again.
"Shut up, you slimy snake!" This time it was Pettigrew who had kicked and shouted at him, a stupid grin on his lips as he felt strong with the two other Gryffindors at his side and Severus pinned to the ground.
"Gentlemen, I think good old Snivelly got the message we were trying to send him." Potter spoke again and Severus' eyes moved to the boy, noting the smirk on his lips. "I think it's time to make sure our dear Evans isn't bothered by this greasy git over the summer."
"What –" But once again Severus was unable to finish his sentence as he was hit by a stunning spell from Potter and the world around him went black.
When Severus awoke, the moon was his only source of light. He wasn't lying on the ground anymore, but the ropes still prevented him from moving any of his limbs. And there was something pressing against his back, something rough and coarse, digging into his skin whenever he tried to move.
His eyes widened in shock as he realised that the Hogwarts uniform was supposed to protect his skin from the poking and scraping. Anticipating the worst, he actually looked down and saw that his fears had come true. A stream of curses escaped his lips as he realised that the Marauders had indeed stripped him completely before tying him to the tree. His clothes lay further away in a heap, carelessly cast away so that their mere sight could mock him.
Knowing that he was naked didn't help him regain control of his mind. But he had to push his situation to the back of his mind so that he could actually think of a solution; the chance of being found by anyone at this hour was rather unlikely. If it had been in the middle of term, there would have been students out and about, but on the last night? Most students would be in their common rooms, spending time with friends they probably wouldn't see during the summer; or making plans to meet up with those friends during the holidays.
Hagrid might still be on the grounds, but Severus knew that the friendly half giant was most likely somewhere near his hut or deeper in the woods with his dog.
And that left Severus with only one chance: himself.
It had been a few months ago that he had stumbled across a book on wandless magic in the library at Hogwarts. Since it wasn't in the Restricted Section, he had no problem borrowing it from Madam Pince.
The subject had been so interesting to him that he had read the whole book twice in a single week. In his first year, it had already become a habit for him to take notes as he read, jotting down his own thoughts on the content of the text, helping him to create a practice routine for himself.
Wandless magic required a lot of concentration, and the book had also mentioned Occlumency as a way to better focus in hectic situations, such as an unexpected attack from other wizards.
Getting his hands on a book that focused on Occlumency had been much harder. Occlumency, like Legilimency, was considered to be magic of the mind and therefore a very risky branch of magic. Not many witches and wizards had mastered it, and – according to the book he had finally gotten his hands on – some had even lost their minds trying to master it.
Severus had easily understood the basics of Occlumency, but he was far from mastering it. Still, he had begun to practise wandless magic as well. Perhaps it was lucky for him that the book had recommended that he start practising with the Accio spell, and had specifically recommended that he should try to summon his own wand.
The book explained that the natural connection between wand and wizard would be helpful in the first attempts at wandless magic. The wand was an extension of the wizard, a tool to help him focus and control his magic, and now the wizard had to learn to control his magic without that tool.
According to the book, this special connection would work like a line between the wand and the wizard, helping to focus the magic and send it in a certain direction.
He had practised for weeks before his wand had finally begun to at least twitch when he tried to summon it; and it was then that Severus had first felt the magic rush through his body before escaping through his hand. It had been a feeling he couldn't put into words, it had been special and somehow... freeing. As if the chains around his magic were slowly being loosened.
It motivated him to keep going and he could see the progress he was making, but so far he had never been able to summon his wand; yet it would be his only option to free himself from the ropes that had been tied around him.
With a sigh he began to search, his eyes roaming over the grass, but the darkness of the night certainly didn't make it any easier to find a black wand. It took him a few minutes to spot the moonlight reflecting off a dark surface under a bush. Fortunately, he had polished his wand earlier, making sure his most prized possession was in perfect condition.
"Accio wand." Severus whispered, opening the palm of his hand. He wasn't shocked when nothing happened, he had always had to say it out loud and sometimes more than once, so he wasn't going to let this stop him.
Once again he tried to summon his wand, this time his voice louder and stronger than before, his eyes fixed on his wand as he opened his hand and felt a little of his magic escape towards his wand; but once again nothing happened at all.
After more than a dozen attempts, Severus' patience was wearing thin and sweat began to drip down his forehead. As well as he had been able to put his current situation out of his mind, he was now beginning to fear that he might have to spend the night out here, tied to a tree with no way of defending himself.
Fear and shame began to rise again and were soon joined by anger; anger at Potter and his cronies, at the teachers who had always let them off with a slap on the wrist and a few not-so-scolding words. His thoughts briefly drifted to the Headmaster, how he had sat in the old man's office and been told that his life was basically worth nothing – that it was more important to the Headmaster that no one found out about Lupin, that Lupin would be able to finish his education here.
Severus felt his magic begin to pulsate within him; how the air began to change as his magic reached out from his body with a new, unknown power as his eyes snapped back to his wand.
"ACCIO WAND!" He shouted, and it felt as if his magic exploded from his hand as soon as he opened it, his wand lifting off the ground and shooting towards his hand with unexpected speed and force. Instinctively, he had wrapped his fingers around the cool wood as soon as his wand touched his hand and then it happened...
A loud noise was heard and Severus felt as if he couldn't breathe, it seemed as if everything around him was being pushed away, even the air as the grass bent away from him for a few seconds before everything returned to normal and Severus could breathe again.
He rolled his wand in his hand as he took a few deep breaths, something felt strange, but Severus put it down to the amount of magic his anger had unleashed when he tried to summon his wand a moment ago.
When he got his breathing back under control, he tried to cut the ropes with his wand; it was a simple spell that shouldn't be a problem even for a first year; but somehow Severus couldn't do it. No matter how many times he tried, nothing happened to the ropes that still tied him to the tree.
"What happened here?!" Someone asked suddenly, breathing a little faster, as if they were running towards the tree he was tied to. “Hello?!”
Severus could hear the footsteps getting louder, a sign that someone was getting closer to him.
"Stop! Stay away! Don't come any closer!" He wanted to sound angry, to frighten whoever was coming his way, but even to himself his voice sounded desperate and weak, afraid of anyone approaching.
The sound of feet hitting the ground stopped quite close to his position and Severus wished the ground would just swallow him alive. As much as he had hoped that someone would find him, it also meant that whoever found him would see him naked.
He could clearly hear the gasp from the person that had arrived – the sight of his naked body had probably shocked whoever it was, his pale skin stretching over his bones, his rib cage visible even after months at Hogwarts, and scars that were usually hidden by clothing now in open view.
"Severus?!" A shocked and distinctly female voice asked him. It sounded as if the person had just recognised him – while he would recognise this voice under a thousand.
"Who else would it be?" He muttered and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face, forming a shield that hopefully hid the embarrassed blush that was turning his cheeks red. Once again he had been unable to defend himself and she was the one who would find him – his only hope for help.
"But–" It was a low murmur that came from her and a moment later he felt the ropes around him loosen and he slipped to the floor, finally able to move again. “What happened?! Who did–?!” Her voice cut short, followed by feet crunching dry leaves along the forest floor, approaching Severus. A hand reached out and touched Severus’ arm, turning him slightly. “... oh my God….”
The last time that she had seen him like this he had lashed out and destroyed their friendship, a memory that in this moment caused something to break within him. As much as he had tried to stay strong, to not show weakness… He simply couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped his lips as tears started to drip from his eyes onto the ground underneath him.
“... Sev?” A second hand took hold of Severus’ other arm and forced him to face her. “Sev, look at me.”
He couldn’t stop the tears, as much as he tried to gain control over his emotions again — he simply couldn’t. Especially not after she called him Sev, as if they still were friends. It was without his power to stop her, to keep looking away and not let her look into his eyes that showed nothing but pain — and a soul that was broken.
“Sev!” Severus felt her give him a shake, and he could hear a crack in her voice. “Please, I’m not– forget about what happened for a second! Just please, look at me!”
“I’m sorry,” were the first words that escaped his lips in this moment, black eyes looking into green ones. “I never wanted to hurt you — to hurt anyone.” He said before another sob escaped him. “I just… I wanted to feel safe l, not worry about any step I make… Not fear the consequences anymore… I wanted to be safe…” One more sob broke up his words. “I’m sorry — sorry that I exist.”
“... we need to get you inside, yeah?” She gently pulled Severus towards her. “But first, let’s get you dressed.” She looked around before walking over to the pile of clothes. “Come on.”
“You…” He said and shook his head, looking down. “You were the only one that ever cared…” His eyes looked into hers again. “You shouldn’t care… Not about me…”
She stopped midway through gathering the clothes on the ground, and a few moments later, she was by his side once more. “Severus… you’re standing naked in the Forbidden Forest after dark. Why wouldn’t I care?”
“I’m not worth it.” A shaky breath escaped his lips. “I’m weak. Unable to defend myself.” He blinked. “I hurt you.” His eyes were still looking into hers. “Nobody cares about me Lily — not even the headmaster cares if I’m alive or dead. This would be a better place without me — and I would finally have peace.”
“Stop it, for goodness sake!” Severus felt her shove his clothes into his hands. “We can talk about everything once we’re indoors. Just… please, get dressed and come with me. Please.”
His eyes moved down to the clothes that had been shoved into his hand and then he looked back up at Lily, giving a slow nod before he started to dress himself again. As he struggled with the pants – which probably should have been replaced a year or two ago – he turned his back to her, letting her see older scars. He heard a quiet gasp from behind.
“... did they do that to you?”
“Some…” He answered and closed his eyes. “…but most are from my dad.” It hurt to admit that not even his home was a safe place, but it was the truth and Lily deserved the truth.
An uncomfortable silence passed between the two of them before Severus felt Lily’s hands on his, taking the shirt and covering his back.
“W-we’ll talk about it inside,” Lily said, her voice cracking slightly on the last note. “Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?”
When Severus heard the light cracking on her voice he simply took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“No, not Madam Pomfrey, please.” A shake of his head followed the words, his hand still holding hers.
“Why not? Aren’t you hurt?”
“She will keep me there… But I want to talk with you.”
“Alright… okay, let’s at least get inside first, yeah?”
“That might be a good idea…” Severus agreed and lifted his wand from the gras, noticing that it did not feel as it normally did but shoving the thought aside. “Where do you want to go?”
“Right now, if anyone catches us, you’ll probably get in trouble.” Lily paused for a moment to think. “How about we go to Mr. Hagrid’s?”
“Do you think Mr. Hagrid would let me inside his hut?” He asked her in an insecure tone, his hand squeezing hers a bit tighter. “I don’t know him that well…”
“It’s the closest place with a roof, and if we talk in the castle, our voices could travel down the corridors. Do you trust me?”
And there it was, the question that had been dominating his mind for days now — a question that he had found an answer for.
“With my life.”
Nihil Habens - Or?
Hogwarts
Severus' onyx eyes were warm and had a shine to them that even Lily had rarely seen in the past.
“You seem happy,” she whispered to him while a smile came to her own lips.
“And you’re surprised by that?” Even his voice was different, where in the past there was a cold and distant sound to it, it was now deep and warm.
“I don’t know… There was a time where I thought this would rather disgust you than make you happy.” As soon as she had said that, she both heard and felt how his hand connected with her bum, causing a small smirk to appear as she pressed herself more tightly against him.
“Since the day I first saw you, this is all I ever wanted,” he said as he closed her eyes.
"This?" Lily asked.
Severus felt how she pressed her ass against his hand, a teasing tone to her words. “Not just this…” he answered, his hand giving a gentle squeeze. “But you… Going to bed with you and falling asleep with you in my arms.”
“Hmm…” Lily hummed before he felt her lips against his own, her weight shifting as she moved on top of him and the blanket slid down along her bare back. “You living here with us was the best decision ever…”
The sun had set an hour ago, and he was beginning to regret leaving his cloak in his dormitory. Even though it was the beginning of summer, the wind in the Scottish Highlands was still harsh, and Hogwarts wasn't exempt from that. On the other hand, McKinnon had told him that Lily wanted to meet him at sunset, and not a moment later. After his disastrous attempt at an apology, Severus almost feared that it was really over. His best friend, his only friend, gone for good. He should have known that Lily would come around eventually and given him another chance, she wouldn’t give up on him because of a word uttered in anger and hurt.
Knowing that he had been given another chance, he was in a bit of a hurry to shower and put on some fresh clothes (clothes that were a bit too short for him, but more presentable than anything else he had in his trunk). He was sure he'd left his cloak on his bed, but somehow it was gone and he couldn't waste time looking for it. Lily could be gone if he was late, his chance of forgiveness ruined by a missing cloak.
But so far he hadn't seen a trace of Lily, and that was so unlike her. Even when they had argued in the past, she had always been punctual. But perhaps her Gryffindor friends were holding her back? Maybe they were trying to talk her out of talking to him again. He wouldn't be surprised.
"Look who we have here!" The sound of James Potter's voice made him turn in a quick movement.
"Looks like old Snivelly was waiting for someone..." Sirius Black said as he stepped next to Potter, and the predatory smile on his lips worried Severus. He could tell Black had come to target him until he was bored.
"Who would want to meet such a greasy dungeon snake?" Peter Pettigrew piped up and Severus felt his blood boil. When the boy was alone, he didn't dare look up from his feet, but as soon as Potter and Black were on his side, he thought he was a big bad guy that everyone should fear.
"Potter..." None of this was good and instinctively Severus moved his hand closer to his wand.
"It's not nice to greet only one person, Snivellus." The boy with the dishevelled hair and bespectacled face replied. A sneer played on his lips.
"Just as it's not nice to snoop on other people..." Severus drawled as he raised one of his eyebrows.
"But why, Snivelly, you accepted our invitation." A loud laugh followed Black's words and Severus' eyes widened in shock.
It was then that he understood that Lily hadn't wanted to meet him. That McKinnon had only set him up for the Marauders.To give them one last chance to torment him before they all left Hogwarts tomorrow for the summer holidays. How stupid had he been to trust that girl?!
The only hope Severus had at that moment was to take advantage of the moment of surprise and perhaps knock out at least one of them, which would make the duel a little more fair than it usually was.
"You set me up..." He had slowly wrapped his fingers around the handle of his wand. "I imagine McKinnon was more than happy to help with your little plan, wasn't she?"
"Oh yes, Marlene was very excited when we told her of our plan." Potter said with an arrogant smirk.
"I think anything that keeps you away from Evans makes Marlene a very happy and excited girl." Black added with one of his roaring laughs.
That was the moment Severus had been waiting for, immediately drawing his wand and shouting "Stupefy!" in an attempt to knock Black out before the Marauders could attack him.
"Protego!" It was Pettigrew who shouted the word, wand drawn, and to Severus' surprise the boy had actually been able to block his spell.
"Expelliarmus!" That little moment of surprise from Severus had been enough for Potter to draw his wand and use his favourite spell to disarm Severus.
It was the feeling of his wand slipping from his grasp that made Severus' eyes widen in shock, knowing that losing his wand was the worst thing that could have happened, especially so quickly.
"Incarcerous!" Black shouted, and Severus felt the conjured ropes wrap tightly around his body, binding his arms and legs so that he was unable to move, and hitting his body with such force that he quickly lost his balance and fell face first to the ground. A cracking sound was heard and as soon as he felt the pain, Severus knew his nose was broken again.
"Tell me, Snivelly..." Severus felt a boot hit his ribs before being shoved underneath him, turning him over so that he looked up at the sky, only for the sky to soon turn into brown eyes glittering with amusement. "Did you really think Evans would forgive you?"
"I..." Severus tried to say, but started to cough as the blood from his nose ran down his throat.
"You really did, didn't you?" Potter laughed in his face and shook his head. "That's why you were so easily persuaded to come here; you thought she would forgive you and all would be well between the two of you." Potter had a grin on his face, but within a second it turned into a scowl and Severus felt a boot hit his ribs again.
"As if she would waste her time with you again, Snivellus." Black laughed loudly. "Not even your kicked puppy act will fool her now, you showed your true colours after enough prodding." There was a manic gleam in the Gryffindor's grey eyes.
"You –" Severus said, only to be kicked in the ribs again.
"Shut up, you slimy snake!" This time it was Pettigrew who had kicked and shouted at him, a stupid grin on his lips as he felt strong with the two other Gryffindors at his side and Severus pinned to the ground.
"Gentlemen, I think good old Snivelly got the message we were trying to send him." Potter spoke again and Severus' eyes moved to the boy, noting the smirk on his lips. "I think it's time to make sure our dear Evans isn't bothered by this greasy git over the summer."
"What –" But once again Severus was unable to finish his sentence as he was hit by a stunning spell from Potter and the world around him went black.
When Severus awoke, the moon was his only source of light. He wasn't lying on the ground anymore, but the ropes still prevented him from moving any of his limbs. And there was something pressing against his back, something rough and coarse, digging into his skin whenever he tried to move.
His eyes widened in shock as he realised that the Hogwarts uniform was supposed to protect his skin from the poking and scraping. Anticipating the worst, he actually looked down and saw that his fears had come true. A stream of curses escaped his lips as he realised that the Marauders had indeed stripped him completely before tying him to the tree. His clothes lay further away in a heap, carelessly cast away so that their mere sight could mock him.
Knowing that he was naked didn't help him regain control of his mind. But he had to push his situation to the back of his mind so that he could actually think of a solution; the chance of being found by anyone at this hour was rather unlikely. If it had been in the middle of term, there would have been students out and about, but on the last night? Most students would be in their common rooms, spending time with friends they probably wouldn't see during the summer; or making plans to meet up with those friends during the holidays.
Hagrid might still be on the grounds, but Severus knew that the friendly half giant was most likely somewhere near his hut or deeper in the woods with his dog.
And that left Severus with only one chance: himself.
It had been a few months ago that he had stumbled across a book on wandless magic in the library at Hogwarts. Since it wasn't in the Restricted Section, he had no problem borrowing it from Madam Pince.
The subject had been so interesting to him that he had read the whole book twice in a single week. In his first year, it had already become a habit for him to take notes as he read, jotting down his own thoughts on the content of the text, helping him to create a practice routine for himself.
Wandless magic required a lot of concentration, and the book had also mentioned Occlumency as a way to better focus in hectic situations, such as an unexpected attack from other wizards.
Getting his hands on a book that focused on Occlumency had been much harder. Occlumency, like Legilimency, was considered to be magic of the mind and therefore a very risky branch of magic. Not many witches and wizards had mastered it, and – according to the book he had finally gotten his hands on – some had even lost their minds trying to master it.
Severus had easily understood the basics of Occlumency, but he was far from mastering it. Still, he had begun to practise wandless magic as well. Perhaps it was lucky for him that the book had recommended that he start practising with the Accio spell, and had specifically recommended that he should try to summon his own wand.
The book explained that the natural connection between wand and wizard would be helpful in the first attempts at wandless magic. The wand was an extension of the wizard, a tool to help him focus and control his magic, and now the wizard had to learn to control his magic without that tool.
According to the book, this special connection would work like a line between the wand and the wizard, helping to focus the magic and send it in a certain direction.
He had practised for weeks before his wand had finally begun to at least twitch when he tried to summon it; and it was then that Severus had first felt the magic rush through his body before escaping through his hand. It had been a feeling he couldn't put into words, it had been special and somehow... freeing. As if the chains around his magic were slowly being loosened.
It motivated him to keep going and he could see the progress he was making, but so far he had never been able to summon his wand; yet it would be his only option to free himself from the ropes that had been tied around him.
With a sigh he began to search, his eyes roaming over the grass, but the darkness of the night certainly didn't make it any easier to find a black wand. It took him a few minutes to spot the moonlight reflecting off a dark surface under a bush. Fortunately, he had polished his wand earlier, making sure his most prized possession was in perfect condition.
"Accio wand." Severus whispered, opening the palm of his hand. He wasn't shocked when nothing happened, he had always had to say it out loud and sometimes more than once, so he wasn't going to let this stop him.
Once again he tried to summon his wand, this time his voice louder and stronger than before, his eyes fixed on his wand as he opened his hand and felt a little of his magic escape towards his wand; but once again nothing happened at all.
After more than a dozen attempts, Severus' patience was wearing thin and sweat began to drip down his forehead. As well as he had been able to put his current situation out of his mind, he was now beginning to fear that he might have to spend the night out here, tied to a tree with no way of defending himself.
Fear and shame began to rise again and were soon joined by anger; anger at Potter and his cronies, at the teachers who had always let them off with a slap on the wrist and a few not-so-scolding words. His thoughts briefly drifted to the Headmaster, how he had sat in the old man's office and been told that his life was basically worth nothing – that it was more important to the Headmaster that no one found out about Lupin, that Lupin would be able to finish his education here.
Severus felt his magic begin to pulsate within him; how the air began to change as his magic reached out from his body with a new, unknown power as his eyes snapped back to his wand.
"ACCIO WAND!" He shouted, and it felt as if his magic exploded from his hand as soon as he opened it, his wand lifting off the ground and shooting towards his hand with unexpected speed and force. Instinctively, he had wrapped his fingers around the cool wood as soon as his wand touched his hand and then it happened...
A loud noise was heard and Severus felt as if he couldn't breathe, it seemed as if everything around him was being pushed away, even the air as the grass bent away from him for a few seconds before everything returned to normal and Severus could breathe again.
He rolled his wand in his hand as he took a few deep breaths, something felt strange, but Severus put it down to the amount of magic his anger had unleashed when he tried to summon his wand a moment ago.
When he got his breathing back under control, he tried to cut the ropes with his wand; it was a simple spell that shouldn't be a problem even for a first year; but somehow Severus couldn't do it. No matter how many times he tried, nothing happened to the ropes that still tied him to the tree.
"What happened here?!" Someone asked suddenly, breathing a little faster, as if they were running towards the tree he was tied to. “Hello?!”
Severus could hear the footsteps getting louder, a sign that someone was getting closer to him.
"Stop! Stay away! Don't come any closer!" He wanted to sound angry, to frighten whoever was coming his way, but even to himself his voice sounded desperate and weak, afraid of anyone approaching.
The sound of feet hitting the ground stopped quite close to his position and Severus wished the ground would just swallow him alive. As much as he had hoped that someone would find him, it also meant that whoever found him would see him naked.
He could clearly hear the gasp from the person that had arrived – the sight of his naked body had probably shocked whoever it was, his pale skin stretching over his bones, his rib cage visible even after months at Hogwarts, and scars that were usually hidden by clothing now in open view.
"Severus?!" A shocked and distinctly female voice asked him. It sounded as if the person had just recognised him – while he would recognise this voice under a thousand.
"Who else would it be?" He muttered and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face, forming a shield that hopefully hid the embarrassed blush that was turning his cheeks red. Once again he had been unable to defend himself and she was the one who would find him – his only hope for help.
"But–" It was a low murmur that came from her and a moment later he felt the ropes around him loosen and he slipped to the floor, finally able to move again. “What happened?! Who did–?!” Her voice cut short, followed by feet crunching dry leaves along the forest floor, approaching Severus. A hand reached out and touched Severus’ arm, turning him slightly. “... oh my God….”
The last time that she had seen him like this he had lashed out and destroyed their friendship, a memory that in this moment caused something to break within him. As much as he had tried to stay strong, to not show weakness… He simply couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped his lips as tears started to drip from his eyes onto the ground underneath him.
“... Sev?” A second hand took hold of Severus’ other arm and forced him to face her. “Sev, look at me.”
He couldn’t stop the tears, as much as he tried to gain control over his emotions again — he simply couldn’t. Especially not after she called him Sev, as if they still were friends. It was without his power to stop her, to keep looking away and not let her look into his eyes that showed nothing but pain — and a soul that was broken.
“Sev!” Severus felt her give him a shake, and he could hear a crack in her voice. “Please, I’m not– forget about what happened for a second! Just please, look at me!”
“I’m sorry,” were the first words that escaped his lips in this moment, black eyes looking into green ones. “I never wanted to hurt you — to hurt anyone.” He said before another sob escaped him. “I just… I wanted to feel safe l, not worry about any step I make… Not fear the consequences anymore… I wanted to be safe…” One more sob broke up his words. “I’m sorry — sorry that I exist.”
“... we need to get you inside, yeah?” She gently pulled Severus towards her. “But first, let’s get you dressed.” She looked around before walking over to the pile of clothes. “Come on.”
“You…” He said and shook his head, looking down. “You were the only one that ever cared…” His eyes looked into hers again. “You shouldn’t care… Not about me…”
She stopped midway through gathering the clothes on the ground, and a few moments later, she was by his side once more. “Severus… you’re standing naked in the Forbidden Forest after dark. Why wouldn’t I care?”
“I’m not worth it.” A shaky breath escaped his lips. “I’m weak. Unable to defend myself.” He blinked. “I hurt you.” His eyes were still looking into hers. “Nobody cares about me Lily — not even the headmaster cares if I’m alive or dead. This would be a better place without me — and I would finally have peace.”
“Stop it, for goodness sake!” Severus felt her shove his clothes into his hands. “We can talk about everything once we’re indoors. Just… please, get dressed and come with me. Please.”
His eyes moved down to the clothes that had been shoved into his hand and then he looked back up at Lily, giving a slow nod before he started to dress himself again. As he struggled with the pants – which probably should have been replaced a year or two ago – he turned his back to her, letting her see older scars. He heard a quiet gasp from behind.
“... did they do that to you?”
“Some…” He answered and closed his eyes. “…but most are from my dad.” It hurt to admit that not even his home was a safe place, but it was the truth and Lily deserved the truth.
An uncomfortable silence passed between the two of them before Severus felt Lily’s hands on his, taking the shirt and covering his back.
“W-we’ll talk about it inside,” Lily said, her voice cracking slightly on the last note. “Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?”
When Severus heard the light cracking on her voice he simply took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“No, not Madam Pomfrey, please.” A shake of his head followed the words, his hand still holding hers.
“Why not? Aren’t you hurt?”
“She will keep me there… But I want to talk with you.”
“Alright… okay, let’s at least get inside first, yeah?”
“That might be a good idea…” Severus agreed and lifted his wand from the gras, noticing that it did not feel as it normally did but shoving the thought aside. “Where do you want to go?”
“Right now, if anyone catches us, you’ll probably get in trouble.” Lily paused for a moment to think. “How about we go to Mr. Hagrid’s?”
“Do you think Mr. Hagrid would let me inside his hut?” He asked her in an insecure tone, his hand squeezing hers a bit tighter. “I don’t know him that well…”
“It’s the closest place with a roof, and if we talk in the castle, our voices could travel down the corridors. Do you trust me?”
And there it was, the question that had been dominating his mind for days now — a question that he had found an answer for.
“With my life.”
Quote from Robaku90 on July 14, 2024, 8:18 pmThis version soothes my heart. ❤❤❤ Marlena is mean! 😡 I hope she gets punished! Poor Severus. ☹️ Mental abuse and ridicule are worse than kicking one in the ribs and breaking one's nose. How bad he must have felt when it turned out that Lily wasn't coming. 😔 And the Marauders insulted him. My heart breaks. 😭 It's good that in this version Lily somehow came around (thank you Absolutely!), what's more: the beginning suggests that they have reconciled after all. 😍 It's nice to read.
This version soothes my heart. ❤❤❤ Marlena is mean! 😡 I hope she gets punished!
Poor Severus. ☹️ Mental abuse and ridicule are worse than kicking one in the ribs and breaking one's nose. How bad he must have felt when it turned out that Lily wasn't coming. 😔 And the Marauders insulted him. My heart breaks. 😭
It's good that in this version Lily somehow came around (thank you Absolutely!), what's more: the beginning suggests that they have reconciled after all. 😍
It's nice to read.
Quote from Robaku90 on July 14, 2024, 8:22 pmI remember when I read Heatherlly's Severitus, where the Marauders also left Severus naked for ridicule (they didn't just do that to him 😭). Your chapter reminded me of that scene. It is so sad! 😭😭😭It breaks my heart to think that he was tormented so much... 😭
I remember when I read Heatherlly's Severitus, where the Marauders also left Severus naked for ridicule (they didn't just do that to him 😭). Your chapter reminded me of that scene. It is so sad! 😭😭😭It breaks my heart to think that he was tormented so much... 😭
Quote from Bol_Stark on August 5, 2024, 3:30 pmUgly Truths
Lily was struggling, and failing, to keep herself composed as she led Severus by the arm to Hagrid’s hut. She hadn’t forgotten what he’d said at the lake or who he’d chosen to keep company with, but this… this was more important to her, not only as a prefect, but as a person. “We’re almost there,” she said in an attempt to keep some conversation going.
“You’re nervous.” While he said that she could feel how he moved his arm, not to pull free from her but to take her hand once more. “I’m here, I’m not running away.” His voice was still shaky but the sobbing was gone. “I came to talk with you and now I can talk with you – I can’t waste this chance, Lily, not if it might be my last.”
“No, it’s just… I didn’t expect to see you like that, and I… this is what I was worried about before.”
“You were worried about your housemate luring me into a trap and tying me against a tree in the forbidden forest in the hope that nobody will find me?”
“... well, not that specifically, but the general idea of it. I just didn’t think they’d go that far.” Lily knew, on some level, that she wasn’t being completely honest with herself. Not that she didn’t think Potter and Black were capable, but that they would actually do something this extreme. “I mean, you could’ve died if I didn’t find you!”
“The first time they tried to get me killed didn’t work out…” A shrug followed his words as he looked at her. “Guess that the one who got worried about consequences realised nobody would give them any real punishment when they got none the first time around.”
“What are you talking about?” The first time?! There’d been other times?!
“As much as I would like to tell you what happened…” He stopped so suddenly and without warning that it caused Lily to come to a halt stumbling. “...The last time I was in Dumbledore’s office I was forced to take a vow that I may never break, vowing that I would never tell what happened. It was that or being expelled.”
“What– was it that serious?!” Lily couldn’t think of anything that would warrant Dumbledore of all people forcing a student into silence, and even if there was, Dumbledore would never be the type to do that sort of thing. “Look, let’s sort that out once we’re at Hagrid’s. Maybe, we could go speak with Dumbledore about it and let him know what happened tonight?”
Severus had turned towards her while she said that, his eyes empty of any emotion as he shook his head and then looked at the ground. “You know that I wouldn’t be able to speak up if he was lying to you… I’m forced to keep my mouth shut or it will cost my life.” He sighed as he started to walk towards the hut again.
“Oh come on, he wouldn’t force you into an Unbreakable Vow!”
Once again Severus stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. “Let’s test it… Sirius Black told me where his friend is going every full moon night, and how I would be able to follow him. I was stupid enough to want my suspicion confirmed and so I was nearly killed by a were– argh!” His face twisted in pain as the cracking of bones could be heard. “–wolf that you know as Re– ARGH!” The cracking sound got louder as the fingers on his left hand snapped into odd angles.
“SEV!” Lily immediately grabbed Severus by his arms. “Stop, I believe you!” She froze as she realised what this all meant. “... Sev, we need to get you to Madam Pomfrey, whether you like it or not.”
“She will report it to Dumbledore.” Pain was clear to hear in Severus' voice as he looked into the green eyes. “He will know what it means, it is a reminder of the vow – better to inflict pain than having the vow broken by someone who doesn’t care about death.”
“I don’t care; your hand’s–” Lily felt her words catch in her throat as she saw the shape of Severus’ hand in the low light. “Your–” She felt something warm trickle down her cheeks.
“I will see a Doctor when we’re home. These are just broken bones, they will heal.” Severus' breathing was deep, as if he tried to breathe the pain away. “I just need something to cool it with.”
“Maybe Mr. Hagrid has something,” Lily breathed out, drying her tears. “Just… come on, let’s go.”
He raised his right hand and brushed a tear that was rolling down her cheek. “Don’t cry Lils, I will survive.” Whispering to her before his hand moved down, taking a hold of hers again.
Lily nodded frantically. “A-alright.” Still holding his hand, she led Severus in the direction of Hagrid’s hut.
“Good.” As Severus didn’t let go of her hand Lily was sure that he was following her even though the fast walking probably wasn’t helping with the pain in his hand.
It took longer to reach Hagrid’s than Lily had expected, although she wasn’t sure if it was due to her misjudging the time or the stress she was currently feeling for Severus’ well-being. Eventually though, she saw the light from the groundskeeper’s hut through the windows and smelled some smoke coming up from the chimney.
Lily could hear how a sigh of relief escaped Severus' lips when the hut finally came into their view. “I hope he has some cold water…” And even though he tried to hide it, it was easy for Lily to hear the clear signs of pain in his voice.
“Or a wrap,” Lily suggested. “You shouldn’t let your hand stay free like that; it needs some support for it to heal.”
“We can try a wrap,” Severus said with a nod. “But I ain’t sure. This is… It is magical pain Lily, the unbreakable vow isn’t a reason for debates within the ministry for decades without a reason.” He finally admitted.
“I know that, but… it’s better than nothing, and as good as I am with charmwork, I’m not risking playing Healer and making it worse.”
“I’m sure a kiss from you would make everything better.”
Lily felt her face heat up at the comment. “S-sorry, what?!”
“A kiss from you would make everything better.” The answer came so fast that it was clear that Severus couldn’t have thought about it at all.
“D–” Lily stopped in her tracks as her face, which was already warm to begin with, grew red-hot. “That– no, I heard you the first– I just–” Lily shut her mouth, her brain unable to process what she’d just heard despite knowing full-well what Severus was talking about. “Can we just– we’re definitely talking about this later!”
“I –” Severus was looking at her and gave a small nod. “We’re talking about this later, definitely.” He agreed and in the same moment took her hand with his right one again. “You look beautiful when you’re blushing.” Mumbling just before he started to walk in the direction of the hut again.
Lily didn’t know where any of this was coming from, whether it was the near-death experience from tonight (or one of them, at least) or if Severus had always been like this, or… Lily stopped herself from overthinking the specifics and focused instead on the questions she wanted to ask him once they were alone. She was getting to the bottom of this if it was the last thing she did.
The two of them stopped at Hagrid’s door and knocked, which was followed by the sound of someone moving inside with heavy footsteps. Soon enough, the door opened.
As the door was opened and the half-giant came into their view Lily could feel how Severus got nervous, the way he squeezed her hand – even though gently – gave it away. She wasn’t sure if Severus had talked again with Hagrid besides the one time they had been here together – years ago.
“Lily?” The half-giant asked, surprised. “And Sev’rus! What are you two doing here?! Shouldn’t you be in bed? The train is leaving early tomorrow morning!” As if just then coming to his senses the man stepped to the side. “Get in here, I will escort you back to the castle.”
“Is it alright if Sev and I stay for a bit?” Lily asked. “Sev’s a bit banged up.”
Hagrid looked down at Severus who in turn raised his left hand that was still looking bad. The half giant took a deep breath and shook his head. “What happened Sev’rus?” Asking as he ushered the two of them inside.
“Nothing…” Severus started. “I… I just fell and somehow landed badly and it seems like I injured my hand… So something cool would be rather nice.” He mumbled.
“Potter and Black tied him up in the forest,” Lily answered, giving Severus a look. “I’m reporting them to Dumbledore.”
Hagrid had just taken a mug out of the cupboard when Lily said that, and a moment later it could be heard how it shattered on the ground of the hut. “They tied ‘im up in the forest?!” Shock was clear in the voice of the man.
“And they’re not getting away with it, if I have anything to say about it!”
“They shouldn’t get away with it! Prof’ssor Dumbledore is always saying how risky the forest is.” The giant shook his head. “He will not be happy about James and his friends doing something like that.”
Lily huffed. “I hope not.”
“He won’t have to do anything about it…” Severus suddenly said. “The year is over tomorrow, no need for anything disciplinary over a – as he likes to call it – small prank.”
“Well, he has another thing coming!” Lily shot back. “It’s bad enough about….” Severus’ words before about that night on the full moon came back in full force, now that everything had settled down. “Mr. Hagrid? Do you know anything about that tunnel under the Whomping Willow?”
“I…” Hagrid swallowed and moved to a window, looking out of it as if to make sure nobody was there. “The Willow isn’t as old as it seems… There once was an evacuation tunnel to Hogsmeade where the Willow now stands – but you don’t know that from me, Lily.”
“No, of course not,” Lily said to reassure Hagrid. “It’s just that… one night…” She wasn’t sure how to word her point, but if she didn’t make it now, she didn’t think she’d have it in her to try again. “Mr. Hagrid, is Remus a werewolf?”
And with that another cup that had just been filled with cold water found it’s way to the ground of the hut. “How do you know that?! Who told you?! Hea’master Dumbledore won’t be happy. Not happy at all. N’ver mention that Lily.”
“Well,” Lily continued, her temperature rising, “I thought I’d try to figure out if Sev was really in any danger when Potter and Black tricked him into the tunnel.”
“They t’icked him into the tun’el?!” Lily finally had gotten it done, the half-giant was shouting in shock with wide eyes. “H’ve they gon’ mad?!” Hagrid was wildly shaking his head. “That is why I h’ve to watch the tunnel now… Dumbledore knows… That is why.”
Lily huffed as she looked at Sev. “Well,” she said, “now Dumbledore can’t push this aside.”
“Lily…” Severus said with a sigh. “You’re speaking about one of the most powerful wizards of our time, do you think we – two simple students – can do anything against something he does? Without any powerful aid?” He shook his head. “You should be happy that he likes you and not risk your good standing with him.”
“I’ll make him listen,” Lily insisted. “We will.”
“Sev’rus is ‘ight, Lily.” Said Hagrid at this moment. “What’ver the Hea’master did… Wit’out any powerful sup’ort it will be hard to do any’hing agains’ him.”
Lily knew Severus and Hagrid were right, on some level. Albus Dumbledore wasn’t someone she thought was easily persuaded, and given how old and experienced the man was, she was sure he’d have a response to anything she said. They didn’t have much on their side, all things considered, nothing that she thought would cause Dumbledore to act on what he was told about tonight.
“I have to try.” Lily looked to Severus once more. “Sev… when we talk to him, you’ll support me, right?”
“Lily, I will always support you but do you really want to mess with Dumbledore?” Severus asked in a gentle tone.
“I agre’ with Sev’rus, Lily.” Hagrid directly added. “You woul’ nee’ som’one like M’ster Aurelius to sup’ort you – bu’ I hav’nt seen ‘im for long t’me.”
“Who?”
“M’ster Aurelius.” Hagrid said with a nod. “Power’ul man, very power’ul. ‘as a lot of sup’ort from power’ul families. You don’t know ‘im?”
“I’m not really sure if many Muggle-borns would know someone like that,” Lily answered.
“T’ey didn’t teach you about ‘im?” Hagrid asked with surprise. “He is fam’us like Headm’ster Dumbledore.”
“Sev, do you know anything about him?”
Severus took a deep breath.
“S’re he does.” Hagrid already blurted out after that. “He ‘as black eyes – only pe’ple relat’d to M’ster Aurelius h’ve black eyes.”
“Mr. Hagrid, I think there are more people with black eyes than….” Lily processed the words that had just come out of the groundskeeper’s mouth. “... what?”
“Wizarding families – especially old ones – tend to have something unique for them, like the Malfoy family with their platinum blonde, nearly white, hair,” said Severus from his position, his hand in one of the oversized mugs that Hagrid owned and was filled with cold water. “Black eyes are a sign of my mother's family.”
“As Sev’rus said.” Hagrid agreed with a nod.
“So… you could contact him, then!” Lily exclaimed with some relief. “That’s loads better than what I was thinking.”
“No.” Severus said with a shake of his head. “I can’t contact him. And I have never met him in my life. We might be related but he surely has more important issues at his hand than the troubles of a teenage boy.”
“... oh,” Lily said. “Well… we don’t really have time to wait for someone who doesn’t talk to you. At least not tonight.” She turned to Hagrid and asked, “Mr. Hagrid, do you think Dumbledore is awake right now?”
“Lily.” With a shake of his head Severus looked at her. “We won’t talk with Dumbledore now. Even Mr. Hagrid is warning us.” Slowly he pulled his hand out of the mug and walked towards Lily, stopping right in front of her and placing his right hand on her cheek. “I admire that you’re still ready to fight for me like the lioness that you’re… But please… I don’t want you to ruin your life over something we can’t change now.” A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. “All I want is that you’re happy…”
Lily felt Severus’ hand on her now-warming cheek, his forehead against hers, and she would’ve had more of a reaction if not for the boiling rage. She pulled away, away from Severus’ touch. “You listen to me, Severus Snape!” she snapped. “If you think for one moment that I’d ever be happy about letting this settle, you have another thing coming! I am going to Dumbledore, whether you want to come along or not! And if I don’t go tonight, I’ll never forgive myself!”
“Lily Evans.” He said and took a hold of her hand. “I won’t let you rush into something you clearly haven’t thought through at all.” Even though he had a slender build Severus had a certain strength to him — and still he made sure to not hurt her. “We will go home, speak about all this and see if we might gain some support for a talk with Dumbledore after the break.” Once more he stood right in front of her, looking into her eyes. “I promise we will speak with him. But not today.”
Lily looked down at Severus’ good hand and back up to meet his stare. “... you don’t control me,” she said. It was during moments like these, when Severus tried stopping her from standing up for him, where she questioned who she wanted to focus her anger at.
“I don’t want to control you.” He said as he raised his good hand, still holding hers with it. “Merlin, Lily…” He took a deep breath and gently pulled her against him, positioning his lips as close as possible to her ear. “I love it when you show the lioness you’re,” he whispered. “And as much as I would love to watch you giving Dumbledore a verbal thrashing — I would appreciate it if you trust me and let me for once be a lion at your side instead of a snake.” He closed his eyes. “Lioness and Lion.” Whispering once more.
“... I don’t even know how to process what’s gotten into you,” Lily said. “But… Severus, I…” Lily pulled slightly away, but not all the way. “I left you for Potter and Black during OWLs. I can’t do that again.”
Severus shook his head as he looked into her eyes. “You didn’t leave me for them, you came to help me.” Once more he leaned forward. “But I was a stupid idiot, instead of saying this ugly word I should have thanked you for being a lioness, my fierce lioness.”
Lily felt her eyes well up again, more frustrated than anything else. “Sev,” she managed to get out, “I don’t want us to come back to Hogwarts if Dumbledore doesn’t act on what happened.”
“I do promise you that we won’t let this simply slip, we will speak with him when we’re back from summer break. That gives us time to come up with a plan and some support.” He said. “And if he still does nothing… Then we will leave together, there are other schools that teach magic.”
Lily didn’t like that she wouldn’t be speaking with Dumbledore tonight (and that was a topic she knew she’d bring up later for reasons she needed to figure out once she’d calmed down), but Severus’ idea didn’t sound horrible. “... I guess I should let my parents know first before I decide to withdraw.”
A low chuckle escaped Severus. “You know what your dad is gonna do to Dumbledore if he hears about that.”
“Ya two ar’ a cute co’ple.” Hagrid suddenly interfered. “Knew w’en I first saw you th’t you would en’ up tog’ther.”
“W-we’re not dating!” Lily insisted, pulling away fully as her face, and now ears, burned.
“Not?” Hagrid asked surprised. “Th’n ya wil’ one day.” The half giant was smiling as he looked at them.
“Maybe Hagrid,” Severus said. “When that is what Lily wants.”
“... Sev, what did they do to you tonight?” Lily asked.
“Hm?” His eyes were on her again. “They did beat me up, knocked me out, undressed me and tied me to a tree.”
“I mean… you’re just… different now. Do you think you have a concussion?”
“I don’t have a concussion.” He said with a sigh. “I did a lot of thinking… And noticed what — whom — I really wanted and that I literally did my best to fuck any little chance up.” A shrug followed. “You could say that I realized my brain was turned off and I turned it on again.”
“... well, this is one hell of a time to bring all this up!” Lily said, flustered. “I– no, let’s focus on one thing at a time. We can talk about everything on the train.” She let out a sigh. “... you really don’t want Dumbledore to know what happened tonight?”
“… well, I was prepared to have a talk with you tonight and tell you the truth. Do you think I would have been out of bed if Marlene hadn’t told me that you wanted to meet me?” He said with a shrug. “But sure, we can talk tomorrow on the train too. I’m ready.” He took a deep breath. “As much as I would love to just go to him… I learned my lesson the last time — never enter his office unprepared. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
Lily wasn’t exactly sure what she was feeling, but she found herself entirely numb from Severus’ words, processing each and every one of them. Whatever it was, it was very new. “... I’m sorry,” she said calmly. “Did you say Marlene lured you out?”
“Yes.” A nod accompanied the word. “She told me you wanted to meet me and talk about everything that happened… It seemed like a gift from Merlin, I would really get the chance to tell you what I realized, to tell you my plans… But then there was Potter who wanted to make sure I leave you alone.”
Lily blinked as an odd heat passed through her, her mind still numb as a ringing in her ears started to form. She let out a humorless laugh, turned, and marched out of the hut and toward the castle.
Lily was sure that her reaction had left Severus surprised, she couldn’t hear anyone following her and was sure that normally he would already be at her heels. But not too long after she was sure to hear steps getting closer, making her question how he was able to run with the pain his hand must cause him. But in any event, she wasn’t going to let him stop her again, not after she had a clear mission in mind.
Lily finally arrived outside the Fat Lady’s portrait, the enchanted portrait almost falling asleep at this point. With a jolt, the Fat Lady propped herself up. “Password?”
“Tyranus Minor.”
“Correct but… ain’t you returning a bit late, my dear?” The fat lady asked instead of simply opening. “Shouldn’t you have been in bed hours ago? You should know that you aren’t allowed to be out of bed at this time.”
In the distance the footsteps got louder, a sign that Severus was getting closer.
“I have to deliver someone to the headmaster,” Lily answered coolly. “She’s inside at the moment.”
“The headmaster?” The Fat Lady asked with a tone of surprise. “Why wouldn’t he accompany you here? These rules are made by him after all.”
“I don’t really have time on my side at the moment,” Lily explained, “so, if you’d kindly….” She gestured for the Fat Lady to open the passageway.
“Well…” The Fat Lady said and raised her chin. “The headmaster has put his trust into me to protect the students of this house, you must understand that I have to ensure that this is not just some trick.”
From the sound of the steps Severus wasn’t far anymore.
“So,” Lily asked, “I, a prefect, am out of bed after hours, and you won’t let me back into my own common room?”
“Prefect?” With that the Fat Lady took another look at her. “Why aren’t you wearing your badge? That could have saved you some time here.” The woman said with a shake of her head. “Badge?”
Lily stuffed her hand into her pocket and showed the Fat Lady the badge. “Honestly, I’ve only been a prefect all year,” she said.
“Just trying to make herself look important again.” One of the other portraits suddenly said. “We all know you’re a prefect. She is just pulling an act. Open that entrance or I will get the headmaster personally.”
“What a rude man you are!” The Fat Lady said with a huff before finally swinging open to present the entrance.
“Thanks,” Lily quickly said to the other portraits, her numbness slightly letting up. She stepped through and marched to the stairway up to her dormitory, the numbness returning with each step as she felt a pressure building in her head. She opened the door to her dorm and slammed it behind her.
“What the?!” It was Mary who had directly looked up from her pillow with wide eyes. “What is going on? Lily?” The young girl asked, clearly confused from being woken from her sleep in the middle of the night.
“You didn’t tell me they were going after Severus,” Lily fumed at Mary. “And that Marley was the one who tricked him into going there!”
“Wha —“ The other girl moved in a sitting position and shook her head. “Would you have gone if I told you it was Severus?” The brown haired girl said back in a challenging tone.
Lily felt her anger lessen as she took in Mary’s question. “No, I– look, I’m here to bring Marley to Dumbledore.”
“I thought so, that is why I didn’t say his name.” Mary said with a sigh and shake of her head. “And what do you think would be the result of that now? Do you think Dumbledore would do anything hours before the train leaves?” The brown haired girl swung her legs out of the bed and stood up. “Come on Lily, you should have noticed that Dumbledore is soft on anyone from our house…”
“I’m not asking for permission.” Lily’s anger returned in full force. She marched over to Marlene’s bed and drew the curtains back, grabbing the other girl by the shoulders and shaking her roughly.
“It isn’t that I don't agree with you, she should be punished but the headmaster won’t do anything!” Mary said from behind her, stepping up to the scene.
“Why should I be punished for doing something long overdue?” Marlene’s eyes were open and looking at Lily. “I did it for you, so that the creep finally stops looking at you during meals and class, and every single time you’re in the same room as him. He needed a lesson and he got it. Nothing bad about it. He should know that you’re too good for him, slimy snake.”
“... Marlene,” Lily said as calmly as possible, “you’re coming with me right now. This isn’t optional.”
“Hell I will.” The other girl said and sat up in her bed. “You remember what he called you?! His friends?! That slimy bastard isn’t even worth the dirt under your feet — and Dumbledore surely won’t be happy to be bothered by him again. He made his opinion about him clear the last time around as far as I know.”
Lily drew her wand from her pocket. “I don’t recall asking.”
“And I recall telling you that I don’t care.” Marlene said with a sneer. “A few hours ago you didn’t care about him for all that matters and now that! What is this shit about Lily?! You finally realized that you have a crush on him?”
And that was it. Lily didn’t know which spell came to mind, but whatever it was, it pulled Marlene out of her bed and onto the floor. Lily grabbed her by the hair and started dragging her to the door.
“Ouch!” Marlene bellowed and raised her hands to somehow get Lily to let go. “Hit a nerve, didn’t I?! Ashamed that you have this kind of feeling for him, eh? The ugliest and poorest boy and you have a crush on him! How pathetic!” The girl said while clawing at Lily’s arm.
Lily stepped back and chanted, “Petrificus Totalus,” watching as the light from her wand struck Marlene.
Marlene’s eyes were moving frantically, the girl probably wanting to throw more insults at Lily as she laid there.
“Lily… I really think she should be punished, but Dumbledore won’t do a thing, and you know that. You must have noticed it over the last few years.” Mary said with a sigh.
Lily flicked her wand so that Marlene was levitated off the floor. “Maybe not.” Without uttering another word, she guided Marlene out of the room, following behind down the steps and back out the portrait hole, where Severus was now waiting for her.
“Lily!” Severus hissed in shocked surprise. “What the hell happened that you put her under a body bind?! And what do you want to do now?!”
“Headmaster’s,” Lily said sternly, withholding as much anger as she could. “Now.”
“Lily.” A sigh followed Severus’ words. “Didn’t we talk about the headmaster and what this would bring now?” Slowly he took a step towards her.
“Walk, or be carried. I can handle two bodies at once.”
Severus made another step towards her. “I would rather walk than be carried — would be different if it were me carrying you over the Threshold.” He said with a small smile.
“... Severus, I don’t think I’m in the mood right now,” Lily replied. “Let’s wait until I’ve cooled down. Now walk.”
It was in that moment that the young man opposite her made one large step and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her with his right hand while his head leaned against hers. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that, Lils, but Marlene is your friend… Give her a chance to redeem herself.” Severus whispered in his deep and warm voice into her ear.
“... you’re seeing a doctor after we go home,” Lily said as her face reddened, but she wasn’t sure if it was from anger or… something else. Without another word, she turned and floated Marlene beside her. “Walk, Mr. Snape.”
She had taken one step when his right hand had taken a hold of hers and he pulled her back towards him. “I’m sorry Lily but I have to do this — I can’t let you do something you will later regret.” And with that he had simply placed his lips on hers.
Lily blinked, and the numbness that had been guiding her up until this point let up a bit, if only out of pure confusion. She blinked again, looking at the floating form of Marlene, and then back to Severus, who was looking at her oddly. With the third blink, she finally processed what had happened. “... did you just kiss me? Without my permission?”
Black eyes looked back into her green ones, blinking once, twice before Severus finally opened his mouth. “I…” He started and took a deep breath. “Yes, I just kissed you Lily. I kissed you without your permission. And by Merlin do I want to kiss you again — but with your permission.”
“Severus,” Lily said, unable to figure out what she was feeling right now through the pressure in her head, “we’re having a long discussion about this later. Right now, I’m taking Marlene to Dumbledore; whether or not you want to be there with me is your choice. But never do that again.”
“You don’t understand why I don’t want you to report Marlene, or?” A deep sigh came from Severus. “What she did — I think she did it to protect you. It was stupid, yes, but I also was stupid because I wanted to protect you. Sometimes we do stupid things, especially for the people that are most important to us…”
“Protect me from what?!”
“Marlene? From me.” He said as black eyes looked into green ones. “I?.. From my housemates and what they will become in the future.”
“And what does that have to do with me bringing Marlene to Dumbledore?” Lily didn’t wait for Severus to respond, instead turning to the portrait beside the Fat Lady’s and asking, “Could you wake Dumbledore and let him know Lily Evans is bringing Marlene McKinnon to him?”
“Marlene doesn’t know me, Lily, she saw a risk in me for a good friend of hers. If she was always this bad, you wouldn’t be friends with her in the first place.” He stepped next to her. “It is hard to find friends that really care about you, and Marlene is one of these people… I just think you should give her the same chance as me, to talk with you after things have cooled down. Maybe Marlene has gotten to know me a bit till then and will be sorry about everything that happened.”
It took Lily a bit to process Severus’ explanation, and she thought, now more than ever, that something had seriously happened to his head. She stared at Marlene again, seeing that the other girl’s eyes were still moving around. She looked down at her wand hand, then back to Marlene.
This wasn’t her.
“Marlene,” Lily said, “I’m going to free you now. Don’t go back inside.”
It was clear that the young woman wanted to give a spoken answer first, but then realised that she only could communicate through her and so gave a yes through moving them up and down. When Lily looked into the eyes of her housemate she found that she wasn’t the only one confused.
Lily flicked her wand in the direction of the other girl and undid the curse, allowing the latter to fall to the stone floor.
“Ouch.” Could be heard a moment after Marlene hit the stone floor and had a not so graceful landing. “I…” The young woman’s eyes moved from Lily to the black haired boy that stood beside her, and then back again.
“If Dumbledore refuses to punish you and the boys,” Lily said, “I’m withdrawing from Hogwarts.”
“You — WHAT?!” Shock was clearly visible on the face of the girl that just stood up. “I — Lily! Withdrawing?! Have you thought this through?” It was clear to hear in the voice of Marlene that this wasn’t something she had anticipated.
“I refuse to believe that our teachers won’t punish Potter and Black for tying Severus up in the Forbidden Forest without a wand. And if they don’t, I won’t tolerate it.”
“Forbidden Forest? I — I didn’t know that! They wanted to teach him a lesson, that is all they said. I — I thought they would give him a beating, maybe embarrass him in some way.” Marlene shook her head frantically. “I didn’t know about the forest!”
“Oh, please! You sent him that note telling him to meet me there!”
“No!” Marlene said with shock clear in her voice.
“Marlene told me to meet you on the grounds.” Severus' voice interfered at that moment. “I don’t know why I was in the forest when you found me.”
Lily looked between the two of them, angry but starting to cool down a bit more. “You still lured him into a trap!” she said, rounding on Marlene. “And you used my name to do it!”
“She wanted to protect a friend from someone she sees as a risk… After what happened down at the lake, most people just got proof that Potter and his gang are right about me.”
“I just wanted to help you get rid of him, so you can be happy,” Marlene insisted. “It seemed like he was still pulling you down, as if you weren't okay.”
“I don’t want your bloody excuses!” Lily hissed. “You don’t bloody pretend to be me, Marlene McKinnon, ever!”
“Lily…” She could hear Severus say from behind her.
“I got it Lily!” Marlene interfered before he could say more. “But you’re talking again, so it wasn’t completely bad for you, was it? I mean… It was clear from your sulking every day that you miss him.”
“There you go again, trying to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal!” Lily felt her voice crack on the last word. “Because everything ‘turned out alright’, you think I shouldn’t be angry!”
“That isn’t true.” Marlene insisted with a shake of your head. “I’m actually quite happy about you being angry, because you finally show an emotion besides being miserable!” With that the girl made a step towards Lily, poking against her chest with her pointer finger. “Because I don’t care that it had the opposite effect and got you two talking again, I care about you not being miserable — By Merlin, Lily, you’re my friend! I can’t stand seeing you miserable!”
“And you think I’m not miserable now?! Knowing that you’d do something like that?! I trusted you, for some bloody reason!”
Marlene blinked and looked into Lily’s eyes, a moment later the redhead could see a small smile appearing on the other girl's lips. “You’re not as miserable as before, you show your fiery side again… Yeah, I'd rather have you angry at me and happy that you talk with Snape again instead of seeing you as miserable as if someone stole not just your heart but also your soul.”
“... you really don’t get it, do you?” Lily felt something warm trickle down her face once more, and her eyes started to ache. “I…” She stopped herself, seeing that Marlene would never understand. “We’re going to Dumbledore. You can explain yourself to him, or I can do it for you.”
“I don’t think you get it, Lily.” The other girl looked sad and shook her head.
“What Marlene’s trying to say is that she couldn’t stand seeing you unhappy.” Severus jumped in and placed a hand on Lily’s shoulder. “And she said that she doesn’t care who or what makes you happy. She just wants you to be happy.”
“You weren’t yourself anymore, Lily,” came a third voice from the portrait. “It broke our hearts to see you like that and not being able to do anything.” Slowly the source of the voice, Mary, stepped out of the portrait.
“You too?!” Lily expected Marlene to make excuses for herself to justify what she did. She certainly didn’t expect Severus to defend her for what she’d done. But now Mary, of all people, was doing it. “You’re defending her for luring Severus into a trap using my name?!”
“No,” Mary answered. “I do not defend Marlene and she will get a piece of my mind later on. What I’m trying to make you understand is that we all noticed what effect the sudden cut from Severus had on you.” With that Mary looked at Marlene. “Some thought it would be good to get him out of your life, others that it would be good if he was back in your life.”
“This– none of this is about how I felt! I don’t give a damn about any of that right now!” Lily walked over to Severus and touched his arm. “And I don’t want to hear any of it until we see Dumbledore!”
“I find it surprising how you’re the only one of us that has any trust in Dumbledore.” Once more it was Mary that spoke up. “But if you think that is such a good decision.” The girl shrugged and started to walk towards the office of the headmaster.
Lily gently took Severus by the arm and led him down the corridor. She looked back at Marlene and said, “If you don’t speak for yourself, I’ll speak for you.”
“In your position, I would rather think about why three or four students don’t trust the headmaster.” Mary piped up from in front of her.
“If you’re trying to talk me out of it,” Lily shot back, “believe me, you’ll get nowhere.”
“Oh no, I know how stubborn you’re.” A laugh came from Mary. “But I find it surprising how you seem to be the only one that doesn’t expect the headmaster to put the blame on Severus — something the other teachers regularly do and he never interfered with.”
“Oh please,” Lily retorted. “I don’t trust him one bit, not after he covered up an attempted murder.”
“And still you go to him and think you will gain anything from it.” Mary had turned around in front of them and was walking backwards so that Lily could look into her face.
“I want to hear him justify himself.” Lily gave Severus’ arm a gentle squeeze. “And one way or another, it ends tonight.”
“As if he would justify himself to you.” Mary rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what got in your head but normally you’re the intelligent one of us that would say we need a plan instead of rushing head first into things.”
“Well, I’m sure I’d be calmer if I hadn’t found out Marlene’s role in all of this.”
“Why don’t we settle on a date during the summer break and all meet up? Then we talk about everything and come up with a logical plan.” Mary asked in a calm tone. “And as part of that, Marlene promises to get to know Severus until that day.”
“Funny,” Lily scoffed as they continued down the corridor. “Here I was, thinking you weren’t trying to talk me out of seeing Dumbledore.”
“It was just a idea.” Mary shrugged. “Thought you would want your boyfriend to get to know your friends, maybe gain some new ones himself.”
“He’s not my–” Lily shook her head. “We’re not dating!”
“Not?” Simultaneously Mary and Marlene asked the same thing, clearly surprised about it.
“Working at changing that,” Severus said in a deep, quiet voice from next to her.
“Look, Sev,” Lily insisted, “whatever’s going on with you right now, save it until we get your head checked out. I want to make sure you’re well before I even begin to unpack that.”
“He seems pretty well to me, besides that hand and the bruises.” Mary quipped up. “And I think you should go for it, Severus.”
Lily shook her head again. The last thing she needed was Mary confusing Severus after the latter had clearly been affected by Potter and Black; he’d never been this forward about these kinds of feelings before, not even subtly.
Soon enough, the four reached the entrance to the staircase leading up to the headmaster’s office.
“I can guarantee you that my head is just fine, Lily,” said Severus as he rolled his eyes. “I may have broken bones but my brain is working and I can guarantee it isn’t influenced by any kind of magic or other things.”
“Oh, we’ll see about that, if I have anything to say about it.” Lily approached the gargoyle and spoke the password. “Ginger Snap.”
“Sure thing. We can go to a doctor so he confirms my head is just fine.” He said with a shrug, taking a deep breath as the gargoyle started to move.
Ugly Truths
Lily was struggling, and failing, to keep herself composed as she led Severus by the arm to Hagrid’s hut. She hadn’t forgotten what he’d said at the lake or who he’d chosen to keep company with, but this… this was more important to her, not only as a prefect, but as a person. “We’re almost there,” she said in an attempt to keep some conversation going.
“You’re nervous.” While he said that she could feel how he moved his arm, not to pull free from her but to take her hand once more. “I’m here, I’m not running away.” His voice was still shaky but the sobbing was gone. “I came to talk with you and now I can talk with you – I can’t waste this chance, Lily, not if it might be my last.”
“No, it’s just… I didn’t expect to see you like that, and I… this is what I was worried about before.”
“You were worried about your housemate luring me into a trap and tying me against a tree in the forbidden forest in the hope that nobody will find me?”
“... well, not that specifically, but the general idea of it. I just didn’t think they’d go that far.” Lily knew, on some level, that she wasn’t being completely honest with herself. Not that she didn’t think Potter and Black were capable, but that they would actually do something this extreme. “I mean, you could’ve died if I didn’t find you!”
“The first time they tried to get me killed didn’t work out…” A shrug followed his words as he looked at her. “Guess that the one who got worried about consequences realised nobody would give them any real punishment when they got none the first time around.”
“What are you talking about?” The first time?! There’d been other times?!
“As much as I would like to tell you what happened…” He stopped so suddenly and without warning that it caused Lily to come to a halt stumbling. “...The last time I was in Dumbledore’s office I was forced to take a vow that I may never break, vowing that I would never tell what happened. It was that or being expelled.”
“What– was it that serious?!” Lily couldn’t think of anything that would warrant Dumbledore of all people forcing a student into silence, and even if there was, Dumbledore would never be the type to do that sort of thing. “Look, let’s sort that out once we’re at Hagrid’s. Maybe, we could go speak with Dumbledore about it and let him know what happened tonight?”
Severus had turned towards her while she said that, his eyes empty of any emotion as he shook his head and then looked at the ground. “You know that I wouldn’t be able to speak up if he was lying to you… I’m forced to keep my mouth shut or it will cost my life.” He sighed as he started to walk towards the hut again.
“Oh come on, he wouldn’t force you into an Unbreakable Vow!”
Once again Severus stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. “Let’s test it… Sirius Black told me where his friend is going every full moon night, and how I would be able to follow him. I was stupid enough to want my suspicion confirmed and so I was nearly killed by a were– argh!” His face twisted in pain as the cracking of bones could be heard. “–wolf that you know as Re– ARGH!” The cracking sound got louder as the fingers on his left hand snapped into odd angles.
“SEV!” Lily immediately grabbed Severus by his arms. “Stop, I believe you!” She froze as she realised what this all meant. “... Sev, we need to get you to Madam Pomfrey, whether you like it or not.”
“She will report it to Dumbledore.” Pain was clear to hear in Severus' voice as he looked into the green eyes. “He will know what it means, it is a reminder of the vow – better to inflict pain than having the vow broken by someone who doesn’t care about death.”
“I don’t care; your hand’s–” Lily felt her words catch in her throat as she saw the shape of Severus’ hand in the low light. “Your–” She felt something warm trickle down her cheeks.
“I will see a Doctor when we’re home. These are just broken bones, they will heal.” Severus' breathing was deep, as if he tried to breathe the pain away. “I just need something to cool it with.”
“Maybe Mr. Hagrid has something,” Lily breathed out, drying her tears. “Just… come on, let’s go.”
He raised his right hand and brushed a tear that was rolling down her cheek. “Don’t cry Lils, I will survive.” Whispering to her before his hand moved down, taking a hold of hers again.
Lily nodded frantically. “A-alright.” Still holding his hand, she led Severus in the direction of Hagrid’s hut.
“Good.” As Severus didn’t let go of her hand Lily was sure that he was following her even though the fast walking probably wasn’t helping with the pain in his hand.
It took longer to reach Hagrid’s than Lily had expected, although she wasn’t sure if it was due to her misjudging the time or the stress she was currently feeling for Severus’ well-being. Eventually though, she saw the light from the groundskeeper’s hut through the windows and smelled some smoke coming up from the chimney.
Lily could hear how a sigh of relief escaped Severus' lips when the hut finally came into their view. “I hope he has some cold water…” And even though he tried to hide it, it was easy for Lily to hear the clear signs of pain in his voice.
“Or a wrap,” Lily suggested. “You shouldn’t let your hand stay free like that; it needs some support for it to heal.”
“We can try a wrap,” Severus said with a nod. “But I ain’t sure. This is… It is magical pain Lily, the unbreakable vow isn’t a reason for debates within the ministry for decades without a reason.” He finally admitted.
“I know that, but… it’s better than nothing, and as good as I am with charmwork, I’m not risking playing Healer and making it worse.”
“I’m sure a kiss from you would make everything better.”
Lily felt her face heat up at the comment. “S-sorry, what?!”
“A kiss from you would make everything better.” The answer came so fast that it was clear that Severus couldn’t have thought about it at all.
“D–” Lily stopped in her tracks as her face, which was already warm to begin with, grew red-hot. “That– no, I heard you the first– I just–” Lily shut her mouth, her brain unable to process what she’d just heard despite knowing full-well what Severus was talking about. “Can we just– we’re definitely talking about this later!”
“I –” Severus was looking at her and gave a small nod. “We’re talking about this later, definitely.” He agreed and in the same moment took her hand with his right one again. “You look beautiful when you’re blushing.” Mumbling just before he started to walk in the direction of the hut again.
Lily didn’t know where any of this was coming from, whether it was the near-death experience from tonight (or one of them, at least) or if Severus had always been like this, or… Lily stopped herself from overthinking the specifics and focused instead on the questions she wanted to ask him once they were alone. She was getting to the bottom of this if it was the last thing she did.
The two of them stopped at Hagrid’s door and knocked, which was followed by the sound of someone moving inside with heavy footsteps. Soon enough, the door opened.
As the door was opened and the half-giant came into their view Lily could feel how Severus got nervous, the way he squeezed her hand – even though gently – gave it away. She wasn’t sure if Severus had talked again with Hagrid besides the one time they had been here together – years ago.
“Lily?” The half-giant asked, surprised. “And Sev’rus! What are you two doing here?! Shouldn’t you be in bed? The train is leaving early tomorrow morning!” As if just then coming to his senses the man stepped to the side. “Get in here, I will escort you back to the castle.”
“Is it alright if Sev and I stay for a bit?” Lily asked. “Sev’s a bit banged up.”
Hagrid looked down at Severus who in turn raised his left hand that was still looking bad. The half giant took a deep breath and shook his head. “What happened Sev’rus?” Asking as he ushered the two of them inside.
“Nothing…” Severus started. “I… I just fell and somehow landed badly and it seems like I injured my hand… So something cool would be rather nice.” He mumbled.
“Potter and Black tied him up in the forest,” Lily answered, giving Severus a look. “I’m reporting them to Dumbledore.”
Hagrid had just taken a mug out of the cupboard when Lily said that, and a moment later it could be heard how it shattered on the ground of the hut. “They tied ‘im up in the forest?!” Shock was clear in the voice of the man.
“And they’re not getting away with it, if I have anything to say about it!”
“They shouldn’t get away with it! Prof’ssor Dumbledore is always saying how risky the forest is.” The giant shook his head. “He will not be happy about James and his friends doing something like that.”
Lily huffed. “I hope not.”
“He won’t have to do anything about it…” Severus suddenly said. “The year is over tomorrow, no need for anything disciplinary over a – as he likes to call it – small prank.”
“Well, he has another thing coming!” Lily shot back. “It’s bad enough about….” Severus’ words before about that night on the full moon came back in full force, now that everything had settled down. “Mr. Hagrid? Do you know anything about that tunnel under the Whomping Willow?”
“I…” Hagrid swallowed and moved to a window, looking out of it as if to make sure nobody was there. “The Willow isn’t as old as it seems… There once was an evacuation tunnel to Hogsmeade where the Willow now stands – but you don’t know that from me, Lily.”
“No, of course not,” Lily said to reassure Hagrid. “It’s just that… one night…” She wasn’t sure how to word her point, but if she didn’t make it now, she didn’t think she’d have it in her to try again. “Mr. Hagrid, is Remus a werewolf?”
And with that another cup that had just been filled with cold water found it’s way to the ground of the hut. “How do you know that?! Who told you?! Hea’master Dumbledore won’t be happy. Not happy at all. N’ver mention that Lily.”
“Well,” Lily continued, her temperature rising, “I thought I’d try to figure out if Sev was really in any danger when Potter and Black tricked him into the tunnel.”
“They t’icked him into the tun’el?!” Lily finally had gotten it done, the half-giant was shouting in shock with wide eyes. “H’ve they gon’ mad?!” Hagrid was wildly shaking his head. “That is why I h’ve to watch the tunnel now… Dumbledore knows… That is why.”
Lily huffed as she looked at Sev. “Well,” she said, “now Dumbledore can’t push this aside.”
“Lily…” Severus said with a sigh. “You’re speaking about one of the most powerful wizards of our time, do you think we – two simple students – can do anything against something he does? Without any powerful aid?” He shook his head. “You should be happy that he likes you and not risk your good standing with him.”
“I’ll make him listen,” Lily insisted. “We will.”
“Sev’rus is ‘ight, Lily.” Said Hagrid at this moment. “What’ver the Hea’master did… Wit’out any powerful sup’ort it will be hard to do any’hing agains’ him.”
Lily knew Severus and Hagrid were right, on some level. Albus Dumbledore wasn’t someone she thought was easily persuaded, and given how old and experienced the man was, she was sure he’d have a response to anything she said. They didn’t have much on their side, all things considered, nothing that she thought would cause Dumbledore to act on what he was told about tonight.
“I have to try.” Lily looked to Severus once more. “Sev… when we talk to him, you’ll support me, right?”
“Lily, I will always support you but do you really want to mess with Dumbledore?” Severus asked in a gentle tone.
“I agre’ with Sev’rus, Lily.” Hagrid directly added. “You woul’ nee’ som’one like M’ster Aurelius to sup’ort you – bu’ I hav’nt seen ‘im for long t’me.”
“Who?”
“M’ster Aurelius.” Hagrid said with a nod. “Power’ul man, very power’ul. ‘as a lot of sup’ort from power’ul families. You don’t know ‘im?”
“I’m not really sure if many Muggle-borns would know someone like that,” Lily answered.
“T’ey didn’t teach you about ‘im?” Hagrid asked with surprise. “He is fam’us like Headm’ster Dumbledore.”
“Sev, do you know anything about him?”
Severus took a deep breath.
“S’re he does.” Hagrid already blurted out after that. “He ‘as black eyes – only pe’ple relat’d to M’ster Aurelius h’ve black eyes.”
“Mr. Hagrid, I think there are more people with black eyes than….” Lily processed the words that had just come out of the groundskeeper’s mouth. “... what?”
“Wizarding families – especially old ones – tend to have something unique for them, like the Malfoy family with their platinum blonde, nearly white, hair,” said Severus from his position, his hand in one of the oversized mugs that Hagrid owned and was filled with cold water. “Black eyes are a sign of my mother's family.”
“As Sev’rus said.” Hagrid agreed with a nod.
“So… you could contact him, then!” Lily exclaimed with some relief. “That’s loads better than what I was thinking.”
“No.” Severus said with a shake of his head. “I can’t contact him. And I have never met him in my life. We might be related but he surely has more important issues at his hand than the troubles of a teenage boy.”
“... oh,” Lily said. “Well… we don’t really have time to wait for someone who doesn’t talk to you. At least not tonight.” She turned to Hagrid and asked, “Mr. Hagrid, do you think Dumbledore is awake right now?”
“Lily.” With a shake of his head Severus looked at her. “We won’t talk with Dumbledore now. Even Mr. Hagrid is warning us.” Slowly he pulled his hand out of the mug and walked towards Lily, stopping right in front of her and placing his right hand on her cheek. “I admire that you’re still ready to fight for me like the lioness that you’re… But please… I don’t want you to ruin your life over something we can’t change now.” A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. “All I want is that you’re happy…”
Lily felt Severus’ hand on her now-warming cheek, his forehead against hers, and she would’ve had more of a reaction if not for the boiling rage. She pulled away, away from Severus’ touch. “You listen to me, Severus Snape!” she snapped. “If you think for one moment that I’d ever be happy about letting this settle, you have another thing coming! I am going to Dumbledore, whether you want to come along or not! And if I don’t go tonight, I’ll never forgive myself!”
“Lily Evans.” He said and took a hold of her hand. “I won’t let you rush into something you clearly haven’t thought through at all.” Even though he had a slender build Severus had a certain strength to him — and still he made sure to not hurt her. “We will go home, speak about all this and see if we might gain some support for a talk with Dumbledore after the break.” Once more he stood right in front of her, looking into her eyes. “I promise we will speak with him. But not today.”
Lily looked down at Severus’ good hand and back up to meet his stare. “... you don’t control me,” she said. It was during moments like these, when Severus tried stopping her from standing up for him, where she questioned who she wanted to focus her anger at.
“I don’t want to control you.” He said as he raised his good hand, still holding hers with it. “Merlin, Lily…” He took a deep breath and gently pulled her against him, positioning his lips as close as possible to her ear. “I love it when you show the lioness you’re,” he whispered. “And as much as I would love to watch you giving Dumbledore a verbal thrashing — I would appreciate it if you trust me and let me for once be a lion at your side instead of a snake.” He closed his eyes. “Lioness and Lion.” Whispering once more.
“... I don’t even know how to process what’s gotten into you,” Lily said. “But… Severus, I…” Lily pulled slightly away, but not all the way. “I left you for Potter and Black during OWLs. I can’t do that again.”
Severus shook his head as he looked into her eyes. “You didn’t leave me for them, you came to help me.” Once more he leaned forward. “But I was a stupid idiot, instead of saying this ugly word I should have thanked you for being a lioness, my fierce lioness.”
Lily felt her eyes well up again, more frustrated than anything else. “Sev,” she managed to get out, “I don’t want us to come back to Hogwarts if Dumbledore doesn’t act on what happened.”
“I do promise you that we won’t let this simply slip, we will speak with him when we’re back from summer break. That gives us time to come up with a plan and some support.” He said. “And if he still does nothing… Then we will leave together, there are other schools that teach magic.”
Lily didn’t like that she wouldn’t be speaking with Dumbledore tonight (and that was a topic she knew she’d bring up later for reasons she needed to figure out once she’d calmed down), but Severus’ idea didn’t sound horrible. “... I guess I should let my parents know first before I decide to withdraw.”
A low chuckle escaped Severus. “You know what your dad is gonna do to Dumbledore if he hears about that.”
“Ya two ar’ a cute co’ple.” Hagrid suddenly interfered. “Knew w’en I first saw you th’t you would en’ up tog’ther.”
“W-we’re not dating!” Lily insisted, pulling away fully as her face, and now ears, burned.
“Not?” Hagrid asked surprised. “Th’n ya wil’ one day.” The half giant was smiling as he looked at them.
“Maybe Hagrid,” Severus said. “When that is what Lily wants.”
“... Sev, what did they do to you tonight?” Lily asked.
“Hm?” His eyes were on her again. “They did beat me up, knocked me out, undressed me and tied me to a tree.”
“I mean… you’re just… different now. Do you think you have a concussion?”
“I don’t have a concussion.” He said with a sigh. “I did a lot of thinking… And noticed what — whom — I really wanted and that I literally did my best to fuck any little chance up.” A shrug followed. “You could say that I realized my brain was turned off and I turned it on again.”
“... well, this is one hell of a time to bring all this up!” Lily said, flustered. “I– no, let’s focus on one thing at a time. We can talk about everything on the train.” She let out a sigh. “... you really don’t want Dumbledore to know what happened tonight?”
“… well, I was prepared to have a talk with you tonight and tell you the truth. Do you think I would have been out of bed if Marlene hadn’t told me that you wanted to meet me?” He said with a shrug. “But sure, we can talk tomorrow on the train too. I’m ready.” He took a deep breath. “As much as I would love to just go to him… I learned my lesson the last time — never enter his office unprepared. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
Lily wasn’t exactly sure what she was feeling, but she found herself entirely numb from Severus’ words, processing each and every one of them. Whatever it was, it was very new. “... I’m sorry,” she said calmly. “Did you say Marlene lured you out?”
“Yes.” A nod accompanied the word. “She told me you wanted to meet me and talk about everything that happened… It seemed like a gift from Merlin, I would really get the chance to tell you what I realized, to tell you my plans… But then there was Potter who wanted to make sure I leave you alone.”
Lily blinked as an odd heat passed through her, her mind still numb as a ringing in her ears started to form. She let out a humorless laugh, turned, and marched out of the hut and toward the castle.
Lily was sure that her reaction had left Severus surprised, she couldn’t hear anyone following her and was sure that normally he would already be at her heels. But not too long after she was sure to hear steps getting closer, making her question how he was able to run with the pain his hand must cause him. But in any event, she wasn’t going to let him stop her again, not after she had a clear mission in mind.
Lily finally arrived outside the Fat Lady’s portrait, the enchanted portrait almost falling asleep at this point. With a jolt, the Fat Lady propped herself up. “Password?”
“Tyranus Minor.”
“Correct but… ain’t you returning a bit late, my dear?” The fat lady asked instead of simply opening. “Shouldn’t you have been in bed hours ago? You should know that you aren’t allowed to be out of bed at this time.”
In the distance the footsteps got louder, a sign that Severus was getting closer.
“I have to deliver someone to the headmaster,” Lily answered coolly. “She’s inside at the moment.”
“The headmaster?” The Fat Lady asked with a tone of surprise. “Why wouldn’t he accompany you here? These rules are made by him after all.”
“I don’t really have time on my side at the moment,” Lily explained, “so, if you’d kindly….” She gestured for the Fat Lady to open the passageway.
“Well…” The Fat Lady said and raised her chin. “The headmaster has put his trust into me to protect the students of this house, you must understand that I have to ensure that this is not just some trick.”
From the sound of the steps Severus wasn’t far anymore.
“So,” Lily asked, “I, a prefect, am out of bed after hours, and you won’t let me back into my own common room?”
“Prefect?” With that the Fat Lady took another look at her. “Why aren’t you wearing your badge? That could have saved you some time here.” The woman said with a shake of her head. “Badge?”
Lily stuffed her hand into her pocket and showed the Fat Lady the badge. “Honestly, I’ve only been a prefect all year,” she said.
“Just trying to make herself look important again.” One of the other portraits suddenly said. “We all know you’re a prefect. She is just pulling an act. Open that entrance or I will get the headmaster personally.”
“What a rude man you are!” The Fat Lady said with a huff before finally swinging open to present the entrance.
“Thanks,” Lily quickly said to the other portraits, her numbness slightly letting up. She stepped through and marched to the stairway up to her dormitory, the numbness returning with each step as she felt a pressure building in her head. She opened the door to her dorm and slammed it behind her.
“What the?!” It was Mary who had directly looked up from her pillow with wide eyes. “What is going on? Lily?” The young girl asked, clearly confused from being woken from her sleep in the middle of the night.
“You didn’t tell me they were going after Severus,” Lily fumed at Mary. “And that Marley was the one who tricked him into going there!”
“Wha —“ The other girl moved in a sitting position and shook her head. “Would you have gone if I told you it was Severus?” The brown haired girl said back in a challenging tone.
Lily felt her anger lessen as she took in Mary’s question. “No, I– look, I’m here to bring Marley to Dumbledore.”
“I thought so, that is why I didn’t say his name.” Mary said with a sigh and shake of her head. “And what do you think would be the result of that now? Do you think Dumbledore would do anything hours before the train leaves?” The brown haired girl swung her legs out of the bed and stood up. “Come on Lily, you should have noticed that Dumbledore is soft on anyone from our house…”
“I’m not asking for permission.” Lily’s anger returned in full force. She marched over to Marlene’s bed and drew the curtains back, grabbing the other girl by the shoulders and shaking her roughly.
“It isn’t that I don't agree with you, she should be punished but the headmaster won’t do anything!” Mary said from behind her, stepping up to the scene.
“Why should I be punished for doing something long overdue?” Marlene’s eyes were open and looking at Lily. “I did it for you, so that the creep finally stops looking at you during meals and class, and every single time you’re in the same room as him. He needed a lesson and he got it. Nothing bad about it. He should know that you’re too good for him, slimy snake.”
“... Marlene,” Lily said as calmly as possible, “you’re coming with me right now. This isn’t optional.”
“Hell I will.” The other girl said and sat up in her bed. “You remember what he called you?! His friends?! That slimy bastard isn’t even worth the dirt under your feet — and Dumbledore surely won’t be happy to be bothered by him again. He made his opinion about him clear the last time around as far as I know.”
Lily drew her wand from her pocket. “I don’t recall asking.”
“And I recall telling you that I don’t care.” Marlene said with a sneer. “A few hours ago you didn’t care about him for all that matters and now that! What is this shit about Lily?! You finally realized that you have a crush on him?”
And that was it. Lily didn’t know which spell came to mind, but whatever it was, it pulled Marlene out of her bed and onto the floor. Lily grabbed her by the hair and started dragging her to the door.
“Ouch!” Marlene bellowed and raised her hands to somehow get Lily to let go. “Hit a nerve, didn’t I?! Ashamed that you have this kind of feeling for him, eh? The ugliest and poorest boy and you have a crush on him! How pathetic!” The girl said while clawing at Lily’s arm.
Lily stepped back and chanted, “Petrificus Totalus,” watching as the light from her wand struck Marlene.
Marlene’s eyes were moving frantically, the girl probably wanting to throw more insults at Lily as she laid there.
“Lily… I really think she should be punished, but Dumbledore won’t do a thing, and you know that. You must have noticed it over the last few years.” Mary said with a sigh.
Lily flicked her wand so that Marlene was levitated off the floor. “Maybe not.” Without uttering another word, she guided Marlene out of the room, following behind down the steps and back out the portrait hole, where Severus was now waiting for her.
“Lily!” Severus hissed in shocked surprise. “What the hell happened that you put her under a body bind?! And what do you want to do now?!”
“Headmaster’s,” Lily said sternly, withholding as much anger as she could. “Now.”
“Lily.” A sigh followed Severus’ words. “Didn’t we talk about the headmaster and what this would bring now?” Slowly he took a step towards her.
“Walk, or be carried. I can handle two bodies at once.”
Severus made another step towards her. “I would rather walk than be carried — would be different if it were me carrying you over the Threshold.” He said with a small smile.
“... Severus, I don’t think I’m in the mood right now,” Lily replied. “Let’s wait until I’ve cooled down. Now walk.”
It was in that moment that the young man opposite her made one large step and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her with his right hand while his head leaned against hers. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that, Lils, but Marlene is your friend… Give her a chance to redeem herself.” Severus whispered in his deep and warm voice into her ear.
“... you’re seeing a doctor after we go home,” Lily said as her face reddened, but she wasn’t sure if it was from anger or… something else. Without another word, she turned and floated Marlene beside her. “Walk, Mr. Snape.”
She had taken one step when his right hand had taken a hold of hers and he pulled her back towards him. “I’m sorry Lily but I have to do this — I can’t let you do something you will later regret.” And with that he had simply placed his lips on hers.
Lily blinked, and the numbness that had been guiding her up until this point let up a bit, if only out of pure confusion. She blinked again, looking at the floating form of Marlene, and then back to Severus, who was looking at her oddly. With the third blink, she finally processed what had happened. “... did you just kiss me? Without my permission?”
Black eyes looked back into her green ones, blinking once, twice before Severus finally opened his mouth. “I…” He started and took a deep breath. “Yes, I just kissed you Lily. I kissed you without your permission. And by Merlin do I want to kiss you again — but with your permission.”
“Severus,” Lily said, unable to figure out what she was feeling right now through the pressure in her head, “we’re having a long discussion about this later. Right now, I’m taking Marlene to Dumbledore; whether or not you want to be there with me is your choice. But never do that again.”
“You don’t understand why I don’t want you to report Marlene, or?” A deep sigh came from Severus. “What she did — I think she did it to protect you. It was stupid, yes, but I also was stupid because I wanted to protect you. Sometimes we do stupid things, especially for the people that are most important to us…”
“Protect me from what?!”
“Marlene? From me.” He said as black eyes looked into green ones. “I?.. From my housemates and what they will become in the future.”
“And what does that have to do with me bringing Marlene to Dumbledore?” Lily didn’t wait for Severus to respond, instead turning to the portrait beside the Fat Lady’s and asking, “Could you wake Dumbledore and let him know Lily Evans is bringing Marlene McKinnon to him?”
“Marlene doesn’t know me, Lily, she saw a risk in me for a good friend of hers. If she was always this bad, you wouldn’t be friends with her in the first place.” He stepped next to her. “It is hard to find friends that really care about you, and Marlene is one of these people… I just think you should give her the same chance as me, to talk with you after things have cooled down. Maybe Marlene has gotten to know me a bit till then and will be sorry about everything that happened.”
It took Lily a bit to process Severus’ explanation, and she thought, now more than ever, that something had seriously happened to his head. She stared at Marlene again, seeing that the other girl’s eyes were still moving around. She looked down at her wand hand, then back to Marlene.
This wasn’t her.
“Marlene,” Lily said, “I’m going to free you now. Don’t go back inside.”
It was clear that the young woman wanted to give a spoken answer first, but then realised that she only could communicate through her and so gave a yes through moving them up and down. When Lily looked into the eyes of her housemate she found that she wasn’t the only one confused.
Lily flicked her wand in the direction of the other girl and undid the curse, allowing the latter to fall to the stone floor.
“Ouch.” Could be heard a moment after Marlene hit the stone floor and had a not so graceful landing. “I…” The young woman’s eyes moved from Lily to the black haired boy that stood beside her, and then back again.
“If Dumbledore refuses to punish you and the boys,” Lily said, “I’m withdrawing from Hogwarts.”
“You — WHAT?!” Shock was clearly visible on the face of the girl that just stood up. “I — Lily! Withdrawing?! Have you thought this through?” It was clear to hear in the voice of Marlene that this wasn’t something she had anticipated.
“I refuse to believe that our teachers won’t punish Potter and Black for tying Severus up in the Forbidden Forest without a wand. And if they don’t, I won’t tolerate it.”
“Forbidden Forest? I — I didn’t know that! They wanted to teach him a lesson, that is all they said. I — I thought they would give him a beating, maybe embarrass him in some way.” Marlene shook her head frantically. “I didn’t know about the forest!”
“Oh, please! You sent him that note telling him to meet me there!”
“No!” Marlene said with shock clear in her voice.
“Marlene told me to meet you on the grounds.” Severus' voice interfered at that moment. “I don’t know why I was in the forest when you found me.”
Lily looked between the two of them, angry but starting to cool down a bit more. “You still lured him into a trap!” she said, rounding on Marlene. “And you used my name to do it!”
“She wanted to protect a friend from someone she sees as a risk… After what happened down at the lake, most people just got proof that Potter and his gang are right about me.”
“I just wanted to help you get rid of him, so you can be happy,” Marlene insisted. “It seemed like he was still pulling you down, as if you weren't okay.”
“I don’t want your bloody excuses!” Lily hissed. “You don’t bloody pretend to be me, Marlene McKinnon, ever!”
“Lily…” She could hear Severus say from behind her.
“I got it Lily!” Marlene interfered before he could say more. “But you’re talking again, so it wasn’t completely bad for you, was it? I mean… It was clear from your sulking every day that you miss him.”
“There you go again, trying to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal!” Lily felt her voice crack on the last word. “Because everything ‘turned out alright’, you think I shouldn’t be angry!”
“That isn’t true.” Marlene insisted with a shake of your head. “I’m actually quite happy about you being angry, because you finally show an emotion besides being miserable!” With that the girl made a step towards Lily, poking against her chest with her pointer finger. “Because I don’t care that it had the opposite effect and got you two talking again, I care about you not being miserable — By Merlin, Lily, you’re my friend! I can’t stand seeing you miserable!”
“And you think I’m not miserable now?! Knowing that you’d do something like that?! I trusted you, for some bloody reason!”
Marlene blinked and looked into Lily’s eyes, a moment later the redhead could see a small smile appearing on the other girl's lips. “You’re not as miserable as before, you show your fiery side again… Yeah, I'd rather have you angry at me and happy that you talk with Snape again instead of seeing you as miserable as if someone stole not just your heart but also your soul.”
“... you really don’t get it, do you?” Lily felt something warm trickle down her face once more, and her eyes started to ache. “I…” She stopped herself, seeing that Marlene would never understand. “We’re going to Dumbledore. You can explain yourself to him, or I can do it for you.”
“I don’t think you get it, Lily.” The other girl looked sad and shook her head.
“What Marlene’s trying to say is that she couldn’t stand seeing you unhappy.” Severus jumped in and placed a hand on Lily’s shoulder. “And she said that she doesn’t care who or what makes you happy. She just wants you to be happy.”
“You weren’t yourself anymore, Lily,” came a third voice from the portrait. “It broke our hearts to see you like that and not being able to do anything.” Slowly the source of the voice, Mary, stepped out of the portrait.
“You too?!” Lily expected Marlene to make excuses for herself to justify what she did. She certainly didn’t expect Severus to defend her for what she’d done. But now Mary, of all people, was doing it. “You’re defending her for luring Severus into a trap using my name?!”
“No,” Mary answered. “I do not defend Marlene and she will get a piece of my mind later on. What I’m trying to make you understand is that we all noticed what effect the sudden cut from Severus had on you.” With that Mary looked at Marlene. “Some thought it would be good to get him out of your life, others that it would be good if he was back in your life.”
“This– none of this is about how I felt! I don’t give a damn about any of that right now!” Lily walked over to Severus and touched his arm. “And I don’t want to hear any of it until we see Dumbledore!”
“I find it surprising how you’re the only one of us that has any trust in Dumbledore.” Once more it was Mary that spoke up. “But if you think that is such a good decision.” The girl shrugged and started to walk towards the office of the headmaster.
Lily gently took Severus by the arm and led him down the corridor. She looked back at Marlene and said, “If you don’t speak for yourself, I’ll speak for you.”
“In your position, I would rather think about why three or four students don’t trust the headmaster.” Mary piped up from in front of her.
“If you’re trying to talk me out of it,” Lily shot back, “believe me, you’ll get nowhere.”
“Oh no, I know how stubborn you’re.” A laugh came from Mary. “But I find it surprising how you seem to be the only one that doesn’t expect the headmaster to put the blame on Severus — something the other teachers regularly do and he never interfered with.”
“Oh please,” Lily retorted. “I don’t trust him one bit, not after he covered up an attempted murder.”
“And still you go to him and think you will gain anything from it.” Mary had turned around in front of them and was walking backwards so that Lily could look into her face.
“I want to hear him justify himself.” Lily gave Severus’ arm a gentle squeeze. “And one way or another, it ends tonight.”
“As if he would justify himself to you.” Mary rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what got in your head but normally you’re the intelligent one of us that would say we need a plan instead of rushing head first into things.”
“Well, I’m sure I’d be calmer if I hadn’t found out Marlene’s role in all of this.”
“Why don’t we settle on a date during the summer break and all meet up? Then we talk about everything and come up with a logical plan.” Mary asked in a calm tone. “And as part of that, Marlene promises to get to know Severus until that day.”
“Funny,” Lily scoffed as they continued down the corridor. “Here I was, thinking you weren’t trying to talk me out of seeing Dumbledore.”
“It was just a idea.” Mary shrugged. “Thought you would want your boyfriend to get to know your friends, maybe gain some new ones himself.”
“He’s not my–” Lily shook her head. “We’re not dating!”
“Not?” Simultaneously Mary and Marlene asked the same thing, clearly surprised about it.
“Working at changing that,” Severus said in a deep, quiet voice from next to her.
“Look, Sev,” Lily insisted, “whatever’s going on with you right now, save it until we get your head checked out. I want to make sure you’re well before I even begin to unpack that.”
“He seems pretty well to me, besides that hand and the bruises.” Mary quipped up. “And I think you should go for it, Severus.”
Lily shook her head again. The last thing she needed was Mary confusing Severus after the latter had clearly been affected by Potter and Black; he’d never been this forward about these kinds of feelings before, not even subtly.
Soon enough, the four reached the entrance to the staircase leading up to the headmaster’s office.
“I can guarantee you that my head is just fine, Lily,” said Severus as he rolled his eyes. “I may have broken bones but my brain is working and I can guarantee it isn’t influenced by any kind of magic or other things.”
“Oh, we’ll see about that, if I have anything to say about it.” Lily approached the gargoyle and spoke the password. “Ginger Snap.”
“Sure thing. We can go to a doctor so he confirms my head is just fine.” He said with a shrug, taking a deep breath as the gargoyle started to move.