"There’s only so much a man can take" (Severus Snape/Lily Evans) E
Pairings: Severus/Lily
Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans, Albus Dumbledore
Ratings/Warnings: Explicit
Summary: Albus Dumbledore is visited by Severus Snape before the summer of '77, and the student's words cause the headmaster to reevaluate many things.
"There's only so much a man can take, headmaster, before he has to reconsider his choices."
Warning: certain portions contain references to racism, child abuse, torture and other things.
WIP. All new chapters will be posted here before being posted on FFN and AO3 at a later time.
A special Thank You goes to @thegestaltprince who over the last few days/weeks has been a huge aid to me and my creativity that has finally be sparked again.
But he did not just talk about ideas with me, we also work on a project together and he did beta read this story.
Table of Contents
Albus Dumbledore I
Dumbledore’s Office
“You may enter,” Albus said as he felt the presence of magic at the door to his office. At this hour, he really hadn’t expected any visitors anymore, but from time to time, a teacher came by to speak about something they didn’t have the chance to talk about earlier. His senses told him that it should be a teacher entering; it shouldn’t be possible that a student had such a strong magical aura already around him.
But Albus knew that one of his sixth year students was an exemption to that, and this student just now entered his office. “Evening, headmaster,” said Mr. Snape.
“Mr. Snape.” Albus’s eyes were focused on the Slytherin student dressed in ill-fitting and worn-down clothes. “What brings you to my office at this hour?”
“Headmaster Dumbledore,” the boy greeted him with a nod. There was a certain distance in his voice. “I… came to the conclusion that you were the only one I could talk with about this, and that it needed to be done today… so that you might react upon what you’re about to learn.”
Now, these words certainly sparked Albus’s interest, and he gestured to one of the chairs positioned in front of his desk. “Have a seat. Some tea maybe?” he offered as his eyes looked into the black ones of this exceptional student.
“Thank you, but I think we should maybe first make use of your pensieve.”
Once again the young man surprised Albus. The pensieve was something not everybody knew about – not even the teachers, save for a select few– but he decided against saying anything about that. Instead, he raised his hand and made a slight wish, one of his cabinets opening and the pensieve sliding out.
“I guess that you’re familiar with a pensieve and how to handle it, Mr. Snape?” The boy was already a skilled Occlumens and it really wouldn’t surprise him at all.
“Read about it, and am sure I understand how it works.”
Albus got up from his chair and walked towards the hovering pensieve as he watched Snape raise his wand to his temple, his eyes getting hazy for a moment before he pulled the silvery strand out of his head and placed it in the pensieve.
“One request, headmaster,” Snape said as they both stood at the pensieve. “Watch till the end.”
Albus gave a small nod as the words caused a shiver down his back. Somehow, he had a feeling that whatever he would see would be nothing easy to handle. “You will accompany me?” He asked the student in front of him.
Snape gave a nod before diving into the memory, Albus taking a deep breath before following.
Albus’s eyes needed a moment to adjust to the darkness around them, only a few torches spending light and making it possible to recognize their surroundings. “We’re in the dungeons,” he said, looking at the student next to him.
“You should remember this place rather well,” Snape answered.
Taking the words to heart, Albus looked around more, looking for any clues until he saw the stone – TMR = LV was carved into it with magic, something he had noticed that fateful day.
“Thi–” Albus was interrupted by a voice from the memory.
“Come out, little mudblood, we just want to play a bit…” A mean laugh followed the words.
“Leave me alone, please…” a fearful voice answered.
And then the first year hufflepuff came into their view.
“Please!” the girl with curly-brown hair begged. “I just wanted to ask Professor Slughorn something… Please, leave me alone…”
“Awe… and then you got lost, poor little badger?” the male voice asked maliciously.
“Ye– Yes…” the little girl sobbed. She tried sprinting into the corridor they were standing in, but…
“CRUCIO!” the voice shouted, and Albus watched the girl being struck by the spell, a scream escaping her that sent chills down his spine.
“You shouldn’t have come here, little Badger,” the male voice said with a disapproving tone to it. “Should have waited till your next potions class. Now, you have to suffer the consequences for entering Slytherin's domain without a valid reason.”
Another crucio hit the girl and made her body shake, eyes wide from fear and pain as she screamed.
Two more times, the little girl was hit with the unforgivable before it stopped, a twitching mass laying on the ground.
“Look at you! What a disgrace to the wizarding world you are… sobbing and screaming, having wet your panties…” Steps could be heard. “I think I should make you remember your place very well, show you the only thing you’re good for.” Finally the source of the voice stepped into view.
“Expelliarmus!” a voice from behind them bellowed, and a moment later, Snape stepped through them. “Rosier! What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Snape,” the other boy grimaced as he looked towards them. “Teaching the little badger where she belongs.”
“Have you gone completely mad?!” the memory version of the boy next to him bellowed. “Leave this place now! Go in the dorm, I will handle this.”
“But Snape!” the boy exclaimed. “It was just about to get good.” Finally the boy turned around and they could see that he had opened his belt and pants.
“Get away before I hex you in another universe, you perverted bastard,” Memory-Snape growled. Albus watched how his stance changed while magic started to pulse around him.
“By Merlin, Snape…” The other boy grumbled as he pulled his pants up again and closed them.
“Stupify!”
Rosier barely dodged the spell with wide eyes. “Fuck you, half-blood.” The boy showed them the finger before running away, picking his wand up from the ground.
Memory-Snape slowly approached the little girl, going down on a knee and checking her eyes and pulse.
“I hope Madame Pomfrey will be able to help you.” If Albus hadn’t stepped closer to Memory-Snape, he wouldn’t have heard the words that followed. “Expecto Patronum.” A silver doe appeared – one that the headmaster remembered too well. “Bring the headmaster to this place, and hurry.” The doe bowed its head before sprinting away down the hall.
And then the memory faded. Albus was sure they would leave the Pensieve, but instead, another memory came up. They were still in the dungeons, but this time in a classroom that hadn’t been used in years. Benches and tables were pushed to the walls and stacked on each other. Floating candles were the only source of light, their green flames making Albus dread what he would see next.
“It is time,” a manipulated voice said, and Albus watched as cloaked figures stepped out of the dark corners of the room. Each one of them wore a masked hood.
“You all know that today would be one of our regular meetings,” another manipulated voice said to his right. Albus looked in the direction. “But this won’t be as regular as all the others. Today, we have a surprise guest.”
The figure waved their wand, and into the center of a room glided a stiff body – a stiff female body wearing Gryffindor robes.
“Mary Macdonald…” Albus said in shock as he realized where they were.
“Yes…” Snape only answered.
“This Gryffindor mudblood thought it would be a wise decision to stand up against us – just to protect another worthless mudblood from learning her place.” Even though the masks changed the speaker’s voice, Albus heard the hatred and malice in the words. “I say that this mudblood now has to be taught a special lesson about her place.”
Right before Albus’s eyes, Miss Macdonald floated higher into the air before being dropped, her body still stiff so that she couldn’t protect herself from the fall. Only the widening of the girl’s eyes gave away any pain she must have felt, along with the sound of cracking bones.
Finally, the body binding hex was lifted from Miss Macdonald, and she let out a sob as tears streamed down her face.
“Shut up, mudblood! Imperio!” one of the masked figures bellowed. Miss Macdonald’s eyes glazed over, showing that the spell had taken effect. “Now be a good little mudblood and dance for us.”
Albus watched as Miss Macdonald stood and started dancing in the center of the room for all of the figures to see.
“Isn’t that a bit boring?” One of the others said.
“Yeah, her moves aren't that great…” another one added. “... but her body seems nice.”
“Let’s see her body! Maybe that makes it better!” A cold laugh followed the words.
“As you wish,” the masked caster said. “Strip for us, little mudblood.”
It shocked Albus to see how cruel students at that age could already be. He knew that something cruel had happened to Miss Macdonald, but that it was that cruel…
And then, when Miss Macdonald was nearly naked, the student showed that they could be even worse.
“It is time to make you the whore you’re meant to be.” The caster of the Imperius curse stepped forward, opening his pants as Miss Macdonald moved towards him.
“ENOUGH!” the figure behind him bellowed. “This is enough.”
Albus turned around just in time to notice the slight movement of the wand the figure made. Automatically, his eyes moved back to Miss Macdonald, whose eyes fluttered shut the moment she stood, and her body went limp as her robes wrapped around her. The figure stepped through him, pushing his hood down and removing his mask before another swish of the wand followed and all the other masks disappeared.
“When I thought you couldn’t even be more stupid, you prove me wrong, Mulciber!”
“They deserve it, Snape!” The other boy bellowed. “They’re mudbloods! They’re worth even less than you, you dirty halfblood.”
Albus watched as the other student fell to the ground like a sandbag.
“Bring him to the dorm,” Memory-Snape said.
It seemed like the others in the group didn’t want to end up like their classmate and did as they were told, picking up the body and leaving.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you Mary…” Memory-Snape said quietly to Miss Macdonald.
At this point, the memory ended, and Albus found himself back in his office.
“You brought her to the hospital wing…” Albus said as he looked at Snape.
“That is correct.”
“After that, Miss Macdonald was left alone by the Slytherins…”
“I made a deal with Mulciber and Rosier that same night. The safety of Mary Macdonald and Lily Evans in return for my loyalty to their cause.”
“What happened at the lake…”
“A necessary step to ensure that Lily Evans is safe.”
Rarely in his life had Albus been made speechless; today was one of those times. Within a matter of minutes, Snape had surprised him and given him enough food for thought that he probably wouldn’t find any sleep for the rest of the night. He turned around and stepped to the window that granted a view over the castle grounds.
“Why did you come out with this now?” Albus asked. “The deal seems to be untouched by your dorm mates…”
“I should have reported them back in fifth year, but I believed that I could keep them in check if I didn't have to worry about Lily and Mary at the same time. So the deal seemed like a good solution.” Albus saw Snape’s regretful reflection in the window. “After what I witnessed a few days ago, I can’t be sure if that was the worst they did, and if they won’t do worse. There’s only so much a man can take, headmaster, before he has to reconsider his choices.”
“Very wise words…” Albus stroked his beard. “You understand that I can’t ignore this new knowledge, and that consequences will follow.”
“That is understandable, headmaster,” Snape said without hesitation. “And I will accept whatever consequences you think are adequate.”
The boy’s words affected Albus in a way he hadn’t expected, and he now knew his mind would be preoccupied with it on top of everything else he’d learned tonight.
“I will leave you to your thoughts and decisions. Good night, sir.” Snape’s reflection started walking toward the door.
“Mr. Snape,” Albus said, stopping Snape. “I might have failed you as your headmaster, but be assured that I’m more than ready to assist you in this endeavor.”
“Thank you, headmaster.” Snape opened the door.
“And Mr. Snape,” Albus added, “the door to my office will always be open for you.”
Snape looked to Albus once more and gave him a slight nod before leaving his office, leaving Albus to his thoughts.
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