Your Favourite Fanfic Scenes *spoiler alert*
Quote from Naaga on August 13, 2023, 7:23 amQuote from Dark Angel on August 13, 2023, 6:00 am@naaga
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Quote from Dark Angel on August 13, 2023, 6:00 am*sigh*
*adds to, by now, endless TBR list*
Thanks to you I'm drowning in my tbr list...
Glad to be of assistance! 😸
Quote from Naaga on August 15, 2023, 2:50 amThe Mysterious Traveller, Chapter 29
This scene is one of favourites in having Snape let go of his pain, trauma and finds a measure of peace, interesting because it's the teen Snape doing it, not old Snape. His words to Lily were cathartic because he also recognised her faults and called her out on them.
Now he was back in the dark abyss, with the orb right where he knew he would find it. He was still on his knees, like as if he had never left.
"Don't resist," a voice whispered.
He remained still, ignoring the pain in his knees. He wondered what the voice meant by 'don't resist'. Resist what? The dreams?
"Think," the voice said. "Think."
With little to no fight left in him, he closed his eyes and began to do as it said, 'think'. He thought about the dreams, the memories. He wondered what they meant to him, what they were trying to say. What was the message in all of this?
One thing was for certain, all of them involved pain of some kind. A pain that he suffered because of the actions of others. His father, his mother, Potter, Black, Lucius, Avery, Mulciber, right down to even…
He shook his head refusing to acknowledge her.
"Say it," the voice spoke again.
He couldn't speak, nor could he think. Fearful he would give the answer accidently.
"Say it."
But then he thought about the core piece of his pain, the core of everything in his dreams and his life. And then he could not deny it. He needed to say it.
"Lily."
And like that, it popped into his head. A realization that had been staring at him but couldn't see. Or acknowledge.
Everything revolved around Lily, what he did, how he acted, how he felt. His happiness was also his pain, his strength as well as his weakness.
And he hurt her. Just like how he hurt others.
Because he didn't know how to react to them. How to handle situations of pain, despite how accustomed to it he was. He took their relationship for granted, believing he couldn't lose her. That no matter what, she would be back.
His heart raced at another realization, one that made him disgusted.
It was like the relationship between his parents.
Like his mother did to his father, he put Lily at the center of his world, believing that things would get better. That a relationship could flourish from the hellish nature of their environment. And his father, believing that no matter how he hurt her, could not comprehend of the idea of her leaving him.
What an amazing lie all of it was.
The only difference, Lily was strong enough to leave him when he pushed too. A breaking point had been reached and he broken through it. He had hurt her so much that she chose to leave him behind, believing he was too far gone. And he couldn't blame her for it.
But she wasn't the only one.
He had hurt others, taking joy in their suffering because of how they laughed at him. He wanted to make himself feel better at knowing that he wasn't the only one who hurt. Like his father, he cared more for himself and hurt anyone who got in his way.
He felt like he was going to puke. He wanted to puke. If it meant getting the sickening feeling out of him, to feel clean, he would puke everything out just to make it stop.
He couldn't stomach the idea of being like his father, like the abusive person he was. But there was no other way for him to see it differently now. He was like his father.
And with that realization, came another.
His obsession with the Dark Arts, his manipulation by the Death Eaters. It all led to where he was now… a pawn in someone else' game. Being exploited for his talents, used like a child who, deep down, wanted to feel accepted. To belong. To be loved.
He began to cry, his walls completely breaking as everything rushed forward. He felt something in his sacrum and stomach, barely noticing the darkness changing to a mix of orange and yellow as he felt a great deal of pain but also clarity.
All the lies shattered like a broken mirror, the truth taking front and center stage.
With all of his talk about Gryffindors wearing their hearts on their sleeves and how emotions were a weakness, it all came to down to not being like them. Not being dumb or a slave their emotions, to act freely on them. To express what they felt and not feel like an outsider. To truly belong. Not used.
He laughed, realizing the irony.
A Slytherin who seeked to control his emotions, believing them to be a weakness, acted on his negatives ones to make himself feel better by hurting others. To feel some kind of joy. It hurt as much as it was funny to him.
Now he felt something in his throat, the colors now mixing blue into the combination of orange and yellow.
All of it was crashing down on top of him, all of the realizations and truths he had acknowledged… they were too much. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted all of it to stop.
It wasn't like Lily or anyone else was going to forgive him. They've made their opinion of him clear. He would never find closure on their side. But… maybe…
"Do you honestly think I could forgive you?" a voice called out.
His eyes widened, refusing to look up, fearful of what he knew he would see if he did.
"Look at me," the voice demanded.
Despite the pain he felt throughout, he looked up, face wet with tears, eyes red. He blinked, allowing for his vision to clear up as he met the eyes of Lily Evans. The only person who could truly make him vulnerable.
She stared at him with anger, true despise deep within in her eyes, "I've made excuses for you all my life. Believing that you would stop being so petty and angry. But I was only hurting myself for doing so. And you added to that pain, especially that day by the lake."
He cried harder, his heart throbbing.
"You took pleasure in my pain that day, didn't you?!"
He wanted to object, to shout "NO" but he couldn't. Because he knew the truth. He knew the lies.
"You wanted to make me feel like you did, just like you do with everyone else. Because, deep down, you're just a sad child whose dad never loved him. Whose mother neglected him. Whose life was so miserable because you didn't have wealth or love. So you used me. Used me to feel loved and important. To make me believe you were everything in my life.
"Well, Snivellus-"
That damned nickname pierced his heart.
"-you were never everything to me. You were just that, a friend. A miserable friend I felt the need to be around, to make sure was doing fine. To be there when your 'Slytherin friends' weren't. Because, unlike you, I'm a good person with a heart of gold. At least I try to be nice to everyone.
"The very thought that maybe you felt more for me was terrifying. It was terrifying that the possibility of someone like you, so despicable in body and soul, was in love with me. How could that be? I'm just a mudblood and you're just a nobody who ended up making me your everything."
Severus shook his head, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh, stop your sobbing!" she spat. "Face it, you were never a good friend to me. I'll never forgive you for that. I'll never forgive you for what you said or what you've done. No one will ever forgive you."
He looked up again, deep into her cold eyes.
"I hate you!"
His body began to shake, his heart pumping hard against his chest, his tears running like a river.
Everything she said was the truth and he couldn't deny it. No lie that he used before could convince him otherwise. There was nothing he could say to make himself feel better. Only admit.
But at the thought, he began to think about something else. Something that began to occur to him. A new realization.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Lily scoffed, "Don't waste your breath!"
"No, I mean it! I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter."
He stood up, managing to get himself under control to face her.
"Maybe, but I truly am. I hurt you. I used you. And I am sorry."
Lily rolled her eyes, "You're so path-"
"And I forgive you."
Her eyes widened, paralyzed by shock.
"What?"
"I forgive you."
She looked at him with confusion and surprise, trying to think of a way to respond to him.
"Wha- But- No- I've done nothing to you!"
Severus shook his head, "You've done more than you think. Maybe not to the extent I have, but you've hurt me too."
"Really?" she glared at him. "Name one."
"I'll do you better," he stared into her eyes, clearly making her nervous. "Why did you smile?"
"What?"
"At the lake, when Potter was humiliating me, why did you smile?" he pressed.
Her mouth hung open, shocked by the question, "I didn't."
"Yes, you did. I remember it well."
She narrowed her eyes at him and smiled, "I see what you're doing. You're trying to get me to feel bad so that you can find some way to justify yourself."
"No, I called you a mudblood because I was angry and took it out on you. I wanted to make you feel bad because I'm like my father, someone who takes my insecurities out on others. I took joy in it for a second before realizing what I did. But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you."
Her smile vanished, "I… I was…"
"Was it me? Did you find my situation funny?"
"No, I was… smiling at Potter."
"So you smiled at the boy who was bullying me at the very moment, hanging me upside down to let others see my undergarments. Why?"
"Because…" she paused.
"Because you fancy him," the words hurt more than he realized they would, but he pressed on. "He's a handsome, rich wizard. How could anyone, besides me, couldn't? His smile and good looks were enough to make you smile with him."
"No… I…"
"So it was about me being humiliated?" he stepped forward, making her back up. "Did you take joy in seeing me being humiliated in front of everyone? Because of all the times I frustrated you, made you cry?"
She didn't answer.
"You could have done more and you know it. You could stopped him by disarming him but you didn't. Just like all those other times you never did anything, like how my 'Slytherin friends' never did anything. Because you enjoyed my pain."
"Yes!" she screamed, making him stop.
It hurt to finally get confirmation on not just one but two of his theories. To realize that he was right to assume what that smile meant. But regardless, it hurt the less.
"I smiled because he has a good smile, because I fancy him! Because I saw a Gryffindor hero humiliating the boy who claimed to be my best friend, who hurt me more than anyone else. I wanted you to learn humility so you would snap out it."
Severus was taken aback, "I think we both know that humility was all Potter has ever made me feel. And you smiled."
This time, it was Lily who began to tear up, while glaring at him.
"You may not forgive me for what I did, but I forgive you."
"Why?" she leaned in, arms crossed. "So that you can win me over, make me realize some foolish dream that I'm in love with you? Get a happily ever after where we ride off into the sunset, get married, have a couple of kids and grow old together?!"
Severus wanted that. He truly did. But he knew better.
"No. Because I am done being angry and sad. I'm so fucking tired of all of this. It always ends with me sad for myself and angry at the world. At our world. And if it means forgiving you to make this… pain go away. Then… I forgive you."
Lily gasped at him, shocked at what she was hearing, "This doesn't change anything."
Severus nodded, "And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I need you to be a reminder of what a true friend is, as well as what obsession is."
Silence passed between them, letting the moment sink in.
"And what about us?" another voice called out.
He slowly turned, coming face to face with James Potter and Sirius Black, who were smiling at him.
Oh, how he knew this one was going to be a challenge.
"You know, Prongs," Black touched elbows with his friend. "I think Snivellus here has been overdue for a beating."
"How we missed our play toy," Potter winked.
Severus felt so much anger for them, just hearing their voices always set him off, but this time it was different. He remained in control, watching them.
"So, tell us, Snivellus," Potter taunted him. "Do you forgive us?"
Severus remained silent, thinking, "No."
"Oh, that hurts," Black placed his hand over his heart, pretending to be in pain. "How will he ever find peace?"
"He won't. Because he's just a Death Eater wanna-be, a Dark Arts user who will never be at peace."
Severus took a deep breath, "I can't forgive you. Not right now."
The two paused at his words.
"Maybe one day… I will. But for now, I need time to be able to do so."
"He's joking, Prongs!" Black laughed. "There's no way he can ever forgive us."
"Good thing I like a challenge," wiping the smile off their faces.
He started to walk around them, like a predator with its prey.
"Tell me, Potter," he said his name with sarcasm, making the two glare at him. "Why do you hate me so much?"
Potter scoffed, "Because you're a Death Eater wanna-be, a Dark Arts user who will turn bad one day."
"I thought I was already born bad."
"You are!"
Severus laughed, "Can't even make up your own mind. Tells me all I need to know about you."
"Don't listen to him, Prongs."
"No, your hatred for me is far more deeper than just my fascination of the Dark Arts," he continued to walk around them. "It's because of my relationship with Lily."
"Don't call her that!" Potter shouted.
He ignored him, "That day on the train, the first day we met. That was when it all began. You may have despised me for wanting to go into Slytherin but you got along with Black alright."
"He's different!"
"Oh, how wrong you are about him. But we'll get to Black later."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Black demanded.
"Anyway, you hate me because you saw me with a pretty girl who rejected you."
Potter's glare became more intense.
"You, who grew up never knowing it meant to live in poverty. You, who grew up never hearing the word 'no'. You, who always got what you wanted. You, who was blessed with health and boyish charms to catch any girl you wanted.
"And then you met the first one who didn't fall for your charms, who saw right through you."
He smiled at the anger on the boy's face.
"You hate me because I had what you didn't… her friendship, her attention."
"Well, you don't have it anymore."
Severus looked down, sadly nodded, "Yes, I did. A lot of it is on me, as some it is on you. But lets be honest, it was jealousy and desire that drove you. The more she rejected you, the more obsessed you became. Because you couldn't comprehend that a girl could do that to you-"
"Shut up!"
"You couldn't stand the idea that someone as ugly as me could have the friendship of a girl who rejected you, a handsome wizard who thinks he is Merlin's gift to the world."
"Shut up!"
"So you bullied me to make yourself feel bigger, feel proud and good about yourself. Because the world of Hogwarts and your home life taught you that if you have a good haircut, good voice, good looks and good at Quidditch, then you get to do whatever you want. That no matter what you do, you will always be the good guy."
"I said, sh-"
"But let me tell you something, Potter!" he stepped up to them, pointing directly in Potter's face. "You are not a good person! You're the same piece of shit I see every day! The kind who thinks that the world owes them something and owes nothing in return! You were taught to behave as you are because no one wanted to call you out on your behavior.
"Only Lily came close but she only told you off, which only made it worse. Dumbledore did nothing because he saw you as a prized pupil. Someone he wanted to make sure could look to him as a role model, someone to admire. You are a spoiled brat!
"While I was left to take on the hardships you know very little about."
"Oh, come off it, mate!" Black smiled. "You deserved it!"
Severus turned to Black, "And you!"
He forced the 'dog' to back up a bit, "He says that you're different, that you broke the chains of the family curse by not being Sorted into Slytherin. But I know better. You're just as Slytherin as your cousin!"
Black glared at him, "Don't com-"
"Potter may take joy in my suffering and others, but at least he some line he doesn't cross… unlike you."
"Get away from me!" Black shouted, unable to make Severus flinch.
"That night at the Whomping Willow Tree, you tried to have me killed."
"It was a prank!"
"You knew what I would find down there and yet you convinced me to go."
"You wanted to go! All I did was tell you how."
"While knowing that if I did, I would be in danger. I can buy this of you to do this to me but to Lupin…" he shook his head, laughing hysterically.
"What do you mean? What does Lupin have to do with this?"
Severus laughed harder, trying to get himself under control.
"You… really don't… know what… I'm… talking… about… do you?"
"No, I don't!"
"Then I rest my case!" he took a few deep breathes. "But I'll tell you anyway."
He stood back up straight and looked deep into Black's eyes, "You betrayed your best friend!"
"What- No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!" he smiled, taking joy in this. "You sent me to your best friend, knowing what he would turn into and did so without taking him into consideration."
"He would have been fine!"
"Really? What would have happened if I was killed or bitten?"
Black was at a loss, trying to think of something, "Dumbledore would have taken care of it."
"Oh, there you go again, running to Dumbledore for yet another situation to be taken care of."
"Killed or bitten, Dumbledore would have never let anyone know what happened."
"But what about Lupin?"
"What about him? He would have done it in his werewolf form, he would have been blameless."
"No, he would have blamed himself, even if Dumbledore managed to keep the Ministry from executing him or shipping him off to some wolf camp. If he had bitten me, he would have hated himself for making someone else like him. If he had killed me, he definitely would have despised himself taking a life.
"But in any situation, it comes back to one person truly to blame… YOU!"
Black laughed, "Always blaming us for your problems!"
"The only problem I am at fault for was being out past curfew and falling for your trap. You, on the other hand… no matter how you try to word it or twist it, you are the one who betrayed Lupin's little secret, just to satisfy your pranking heart's desire."
For once Black had nothing to say.
"Face it, Black. You have a dark side that you've feed more than you realize. You can blame your family life or me, for all you want, but deep down… you know your one bad choice away from being me."
He said at the shocked expression on Black's face.
"And what about us?"
Frowning, he turned and saw a couple dozen or so people in front of him. Hogwarts students, his father, his mother. All of them who had hurt him or he had hurt.
A third year girl stepped forward, "You hurt me by saying that word. Like you did to Evans."
Severus bit his tongue to hold back the sadness of remembering that moment.
"I know," he nodded. "And I'm sorry. Even if it was because of all of you laughing at my torment, I am sorry for hurting all of you. I know that now."
He looked towards his father and mother, stepping towards them as all the Hogwarts students evaporated into dust, flying away. Leaving only the three of them.
"Father," he nodded.
Tobias Snape sneered at his son, "All soft now, I see."
"And you are all sober up," Severus raised an eyebrow. "Very unusual."
"Shut up, I'm not done talking!" he got up into his face. "You are a mistake! I wanted a son I could take to work and show off, accompany me on fishing trips, but no… I had to get an abomination like your mother in my life!"
Severus remained unfazed.
"We were happy until your mother told me about what she was, and it only got worse when it turned out you were like her!"
"And?"
"And what?! What more of an explanation do you want, boy?!"
Severus laughed.
"What's so funny?!"
"You are!" he got up into his old man's face. "Out of all of the explanations of why everyone hates me, yours has to be the worst."
"I will not be lec-"
"You could have left or just accepted that your wife and son were magical people, but instead you choose to keep us around, turn into an alcoholic and abuse us to satisfy your insecurities."
"Honey," his mother stepped forward. "Don't make him an-"
"Everything I did was to teach you both a lesson!"
"And what lesson was that? That we should be ashamed of what we are? That being normal is the only way to your heart?"
"Yes!"
"It was cruel, and it was wrong!"
Silence passed between father and son, the mother nervously staring at them.
"For so long I hated you, wished I wasn't your son. But now I realize I was hating myself. I couldn't accept you as my father because I couldn't accept myself. And if I am to find true peace from all of this, I need to do exactly that."
"You're weak. Just as I believed."
"No, I'm far stronger than you or my mother. Because at least I recognize my problems now."
His face softened.
"I think I've always wanted us to be family and later believed I could find it at Hogwarts, choosing the side of a twisted group who saw fit to use that against me. Maybe one day I will find that family. But I am damn sure… it isn't you."
"Then you reject me?" his father asked.
"No," he walked forward and embraced his father. "You are my father and I hope that one day… I can find it in my heart to forgive you. But for now… this will have to do."
He felt his father trying to struggle himself free of his embrace but was for some reason weak to do so. Then he felt his body disappearing, opening his eyes to find nothing but dust.
He smiled and turned to his mother, who was crying.
"Severus… I'm so… sorry…"
Out of all the others, he felt more at ease with her. So he walked towards her and embraced her.
"I know, mum," he whispered as she sobbed against his shoulder. "I know."
The two remained in each other's embrace, only her cries being heard.
"You know I don't have much time," she whispered.
"I know."
"Did you read the letter?"
He paused before shaking his head, "No, but I think I know what it says though."
"Please read it when you get the chance," she pulled away to look at him. "I know that I've said it… but… I am so sorry, Sev."
The nickname felt like a knife piercing his knife.
"I know," he repeated. "And I forgive you. Unlike most others, this I can do."
She sniffled and smiled at him, touching the side of his cheek as she began to fade away into dust, "Thank you."
Even after she was gone, his arms remained in place of where she once was, crying his own tears. Every emotion ran free as he felt something happening to his throat, stomach and sacrum; a painful sensation that immediately turned into relief, like as if something was finally unblocked.
The colors of orange, yellow and blue vanished as the black void returned, with the orb right behind him.
He turned and frowned at it, walking up to it.
And like before, he felt the need to touch it and reach other with his hand. Except this time, he didn't need to touch it. Instead, light from the orb poured out and rushed towards him, startling him as it began to consume him, embracing his body in a warm sensation. He saw nothing but whiteness and heard a small humming noise.
And strangely, he felt more relaxed and at peace than he ever did before in his life.
The Mysterious Traveller, Chapter 29
This scene is one of favourites in having Snape let go of his pain, trauma and finds a measure of peace, interesting because it's the teen Snape doing it, not old Snape. His words to Lily were cathartic because he also recognised her faults and called her out on them.
Now he was back in the dark abyss, with the orb right where he knew he would find it. He was still on his knees, like as if he had never left.
"Don't resist," a voice whispered.
He remained still, ignoring the pain in his knees. He wondered what the voice meant by 'don't resist'. Resist what? The dreams?
"Think," the voice said. "Think."
With little to no fight left in him, he closed his eyes and began to do as it said, 'think'. He thought about the dreams, the memories. He wondered what they meant to him, what they were trying to say. What was the message in all of this?
One thing was for certain, all of them involved pain of some kind. A pain that he suffered because of the actions of others. His father, his mother, Potter, Black, Lucius, Avery, Mulciber, right down to even…
He shook his head refusing to acknowledge her.
"Say it," the voice spoke again.
He couldn't speak, nor could he think. Fearful he would give the answer accidently.
"Say it."
But then he thought about the core piece of his pain, the core of everything in his dreams and his life. And then he could not deny it. He needed to say it.
"Lily."
And like that, it popped into his head. A realization that had been staring at him but couldn't see. Or acknowledge.
Everything revolved around Lily, what he did, how he acted, how he felt. His happiness was also his pain, his strength as well as his weakness.
And he hurt her. Just like how he hurt others.
Because he didn't know how to react to them. How to handle situations of pain, despite how accustomed to it he was. He took their relationship for granted, believing he couldn't lose her. That no matter what, she would be back.
His heart raced at another realization, one that made him disgusted.
It was like the relationship between his parents.
Like his mother did to his father, he put Lily at the center of his world, believing that things would get better. That a relationship could flourish from the hellish nature of their environment. And his father, believing that no matter how he hurt her, could not comprehend of the idea of her leaving him.
What an amazing lie all of it was.
The only difference, Lily was strong enough to leave him when he pushed too. A breaking point had been reached and he broken through it. He had hurt her so much that she chose to leave him behind, believing he was too far gone. And he couldn't blame her for it.
But she wasn't the only one.
He had hurt others, taking joy in their suffering because of how they laughed at him. He wanted to make himself feel better at knowing that he wasn't the only one who hurt. Like his father, he cared more for himself and hurt anyone who got in his way.
He felt like he was going to puke. He wanted to puke. If it meant getting the sickening feeling out of him, to feel clean, he would puke everything out just to make it stop.
He couldn't stomach the idea of being like his father, like the abusive person he was. But there was no other way for him to see it differently now. He was like his father.
And with that realization, came another.
His obsession with the Dark Arts, his manipulation by the Death Eaters. It all led to where he was now… a pawn in someone else' game. Being exploited for his talents, used like a child who, deep down, wanted to feel accepted. To belong. To be loved.
He began to cry, his walls completely breaking as everything rushed forward. He felt something in his sacrum and stomach, barely noticing the darkness changing to a mix of orange and yellow as he felt a great deal of pain but also clarity.
All the lies shattered like a broken mirror, the truth taking front and center stage.
With all of his talk about Gryffindors wearing their hearts on their sleeves and how emotions were a weakness, it all came to down to not being like them. Not being dumb or a slave their emotions, to act freely on them. To express what they felt and not feel like an outsider. To truly belong. Not used.
He laughed, realizing the irony.
A Slytherin who seeked to control his emotions, believing them to be a weakness, acted on his negatives ones to make himself feel better by hurting others. To feel some kind of joy. It hurt as much as it was funny to him.
Now he felt something in his throat, the colors now mixing blue into the combination of orange and yellow.
All of it was crashing down on top of him, all of the realizations and truths he had acknowledged… they were too much. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted all of it to stop.
It wasn't like Lily or anyone else was going to forgive him. They've made their opinion of him clear. He would never find closure on their side. But… maybe…
"Do you honestly think I could forgive you?" a voice called out.
His eyes widened, refusing to look up, fearful of what he knew he would see if he did.
"Look at me," the voice demanded.
Despite the pain he felt throughout, he looked up, face wet with tears, eyes red. He blinked, allowing for his vision to clear up as he met the eyes of Lily Evans. The only person who could truly make him vulnerable.
She stared at him with anger, true despise deep within in her eyes, "I've made excuses for you all my life. Believing that you would stop being so petty and angry. But I was only hurting myself for doing so. And you added to that pain, especially that day by the lake."
He cried harder, his heart throbbing.
"You took pleasure in my pain that day, didn't you?!"
He wanted to object, to shout "NO" but he couldn't. Because he knew the truth. He knew the lies.
"You wanted to make me feel like you did, just like you do with everyone else. Because, deep down, you're just a sad child whose dad never loved him. Whose mother neglected him. Whose life was so miserable because you didn't have wealth or love. So you used me. Used me to feel loved and important. To make me believe you were everything in my life.
"Well, Snivellus-"
That damned nickname pierced his heart.
"-you were never everything to me. You were just that, a friend. A miserable friend I felt the need to be around, to make sure was doing fine. To be there when your 'Slytherin friends' weren't. Because, unlike you, I'm a good person with a heart of gold. At least I try to be nice to everyone.
"The very thought that maybe you felt more for me was terrifying. It was terrifying that the possibility of someone like you, so despicable in body and soul, was in love with me. How could that be? I'm just a mudblood and you're just a nobody who ended up making me your everything."
Severus shook his head, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh, stop your sobbing!" she spat. "Face it, you were never a good friend to me. I'll never forgive you for that. I'll never forgive you for what you said or what you've done. No one will ever forgive you."
He looked up again, deep into her cold eyes.
"I hate you!"
His body began to shake, his heart pumping hard against his chest, his tears running like a river.
Everything she said was the truth and he couldn't deny it. No lie that he used before could convince him otherwise. There was nothing he could say to make himself feel better. Only admit.
But at the thought, he began to think about something else. Something that began to occur to him. A new realization.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Lily scoffed, "Don't waste your breath!"
"No, I mean it! I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter."
He stood up, managing to get himself under control to face her.
"Maybe, but I truly am. I hurt you. I used you. And I am sorry."
Lily rolled her eyes, "You're so path-"
"And I forgive you."
Her eyes widened, paralyzed by shock.
"What?"
"I forgive you."
She looked at him with confusion and surprise, trying to think of a way to respond to him.
"Wha- But- No- I've done nothing to you!"
Severus shook his head, "You've done more than you think. Maybe not to the extent I have, but you've hurt me too."
"Really?" she glared at him. "Name one."
"I'll do you better," he stared into her eyes, clearly making her nervous. "Why did you smile?"
"What?"
"At the lake, when Potter was humiliating me, why did you smile?" he pressed.
Her mouth hung open, shocked by the question, "I didn't."
"Yes, you did. I remember it well."
She narrowed her eyes at him and smiled, "I see what you're doing. You're trying to get me to feel bad so that you can find some way to justify yourself."
"No, I called you a mudblood because I was angry and took it out on you. I wanted to make you feel bad because I'm like my father, someone who takes my insecurities out on others. I took joy in it for a second before realizing what I did. But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you."
Her smile vanished, "I… I was…"
"Was it me? Did you find my situation funny?"
"No, I was… smiling at Potter."
"So you smiled at the boy who was bullying me at the very moment, hanging me upside down to let others see my undergarments. Why?"
"Because…" she paused.
"Because you fancy him," the words hurt more than he realized they would, but he pressed on. "He's a handsome, rich wizard. How could anyone, besides me, couldn't? His smile and good looks were enough to make you smile with him."
"No… I…"
"So it was about me being humiliated?" he stepped forward, making her back up. "Did you take joy in seeing me being humiliated in front of everyone? Because of all the times I frustrated you, made you cry?"
She didn't answer.
"You could have done more and you know it. You could stopped him by disarming him but you didn't. Just like all those other times you never did anything, like how my 'Slytherin friends' never did anything. Because you enjoyed my pain."
"Yes!" she screamed, making him stop.
It hurt to finally get confirmation on not just one but two of his theories. To realize that he was right to assume what that smile meant. But regardless, it hurt the less.
"I smiled because he has a good smile, because I fancy him! Because I saw a Gryffindor hero humiliating the boy who claimed to be my best friend, who hurt me more than anyone else. I wanted you to learn humility so you would snap out it."
Severus was taken aback, "I think we both know that humility was all Potter has ever made me feel. And you smiled."
This time, it was Lily who began to tear up, while glaring at him.
"You may not forgive me for what I did, but I forgive you."
"Why?" she leaned in, arms crossed. "So that you can win me over, make me realize some foolish dream that I'm in love with you? Get a happily ever after where we ride off into the sunset, get married, have a couple of kids and grow old together?!"
Severus wanted that. He truly did. But he knew better.
"No. Because I am done being angry and sad. I'm so fucking tired of all of this. It always ends with me sad for myself and angry at the world. At our world. And if it means forgiving you to make this… pain go away. Then… I forgive you."
Lily gasped at him, shocked at what she was hearing, "This doesn't change anything."
Severus nodded, "And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe I need you to be a reminder of what a true friend is, as well as what obsession is."
Silence passed between them, letting the moment sink in.
"And what about us?" another voice called out.
He slowly turned, coming face to face with James Potter and Sirius Black, who were smiling at him.
Oh, how he knew this one was going to be a challenge.
"You know, Prongs," Black touched elbows with his friend. "I think Snivellus here has been overdue for a beating."
"How we missed our play toy," Potter winked.
Severus felt so much anger for them, just hearing their voices always set him off, but this time it was different. He remained in control, watching them.
"So, tell us, Snivellus," Potter taunted him. "Do you forgive us?"
Severus remained silent, thinking, "No."
"Oh, that hurts," Black placed his hand over his heart, pretending to be in pain. "How will he ever find peace?"
"He won't. Because he's just a Death Eater wanna-be, a Dark Arts user who will never be at peace."
Severus took a deep breath, "I can't forgive you. Not right now."
The two paused at his words.
"Maybe one day… I will. But for now, I need time to be able to do so."
"He's joking, Prongs!" Black laughed. "There's no way he can ever forgive us."
"Good thing I like a challenge," wiping the smile off their faces.
He started to walk around them, like a predator with its prey.
"Tell me, Potter," he said his name with sarcasm, making the two glare at him. "Why do you hate me so much?"
Potter scoffed, "Because you're a Death Eater wanna-be, a Dark Arts user who will turn bad one day."
"I thought I was already born bad."
"You are!"
Severus laughed, "Can't even make up your own mind. Tells me all I need to know about you."
"Don't listen to him, Prongs."
"No, your hatred for me is far more deeper than just my fascination of the Dark Arts," he continued to walk around them. "It's because of my relationship with Lily."
"Don't call her that!" Potter shouted.
He ignored him, "That day on the train, the first day we met. That was when it all began. You may have despised me for wanting to go into Slytherin but you got along with Black alright."
"He's different!"
"Oh, how wrong you are about him. But we'll get to Black later."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Black demanded.
"Anyway, you hate me because you saw me with a pretty girl who rejected you."
Potter's glare became more intense.
"You, who grew up never knowing it meant to live in poverty. You, who grew up never hearing the word 'no'. You, who always got what you wanted. You, who was blessed with health and boyish charms to catch any girl you wanted.
"And then you met the first one who didn't fall for your charms, who saw right through you."
He smiled at the anger on the boy's face.
"You hate me because I had what you didn't… her friendship, her attention."
"Well, you don't have it anymore."
Severus looked down, sadly nodded, "Yes, I did. A lot of it is on me, as some it is on you. But lets be honest, it was jealousy and desire that drove you. The more she rejected you, the more obsessed you became. Because you couldn't comprehend that a girl could do that to you-"
"Shut up!"
"You couldn't stand the idea that someone as ugly as me could have the friendship of a girl who rejected you, a handsome wizard who thinks he is Merlin's gift to the world."
"Shut up!"
"So you bullied me to make yourself feel bigger, feel proud and good about yourself. Because the world of Hogwarts and your home life taught you that if you have a good haircut, good voice, good looks and good at Quidditch, then you get to do whatever you want. That no matter what you do, you will always be the good guy."
"I said, sh-"
"But let me tell you something, Potter!" he stepped up to them, pointing directly in Potter's face. "You are not a good person! You're the same piece of shit I see every day! The kind who thinks that the world owes them something and owes nothing in return! You were taught to behave as you are because no one wanted to call you out on your behavior.
"Only Lily came close but she only told you off, which only made it worse. Dumbledore did nothing because he saw you as a prized pupil. Someone he wanted to make sure could look to him as a role model, someone to admire. You are a spoiled brat!
"While I was left to take on the hardships you know very little about."
"Oh, come off it, mate!" Black smiled. "You deserved it!"
Severus turned to Black, "And you!"
He forced the 'dog' to back up a bit, "He says that you're different, that you broke the chains of the family curse by not being Sorted into Slytherin. But I know better. You're just as Slytherin as your cousin!"
Black glared at him, "Don't com-"
"Potter may take joy in my suffering and others, but at least he some line he doesn't cross… unlike you."
"Get away from me!" Black shouted, unable to make Severus flinch.
"That night at the Whomping Willow Tree, you tried to have me killed."
"It was a prank!"
"You knew what I would find down there and yet you convinced me to go."
"You wanted to go! All I did was tell you how."
"While knowing that if I did, I would be in danger. I can buy this of you to do this to me but to Lupin…" he shook his head, laughing hysterically.
"What do you mean? What does Lupin have to do with this?"
Severus laughed harder, trying to get himself under control.
"You… really don't… know what… I'm… talking… about… do you?"
"No, I don't!"
"Then I rest my case!" he took a few deep breathes. "But I'll tell you anyway."
He stood back up straight and looked deep into Black's eyes, "You betrayed your best friend!"
"What- No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!" he smiled, taking joy in this. "You sent me to your best friend, knowing what he would turn into and did so without taking him into consideration."
"He would have been fine!"
"Really? What would have happened if I was killed or bitten?"
Black was at a loss, trying to think of something, "Dumbledore would have taken care of it."
"Oh, there you go again, running to Dumbledore for yet another situation to be taken care of."
"Killed or bitten, Dumbledore would have never let anyone know what happened."
"But what about Lupin?"
"What about him? He would have done it in his werewolf form, he would have been blameless."
"No, he would have blamed himself, even if Dumbledore managed to keep the Ministry from executing him or shipping him off to some wolf camp. If he had bitten me, he would have hated himself for making someone else like him. If he had killed me, he definitely would have despised himself taking a life.
"But in any situation, it comes back to one person truly to blame… YOU!"
Black laughed, "Always blaming us for your problems!"
"The only problem I am at fault for was being out past curfew and falling for your trap. You, on the other hand… no matter how you try to word it or twist it, you are the one who betrayed Lupin's little secret, just to satisfy your pranking heart's desire."
For once Black had nothing to say.
"Face it, Black. You have a dark side that you've feed more than you realize. You can blame your family life or me, for all you want, but deep down… you know your one bad choice away from being me."
He said at the shocked expression on Black's face.
"And what about us?"
Frowning, he turned and saw a couple dozen or so people in front of him. Hogwarts students, his father, his mother. All of them who had hurt him or he had hurt.
A third year girl stepped forward, "You hurt me by saying that word. Like you did to Evans."
Severus bit his tongue to hold back the sadness of remembering that moment.
"I know," he nodded. "And I'm sorry. Even if it was because of all of you laughing at my torment, I am sorry for hurting all of you. I know that now."
He looked towards his father and mother, stepping towards them as all the Hogwarts students evaporated into dust, flying away. Leaving only the three of them.
"Father," he nodded.
Tobias Snape sneered at his son, "All soft now, I see."
"And you are all sober up," Severus raised an eyebrow. "Very unusual."
"Shut up, I'm not done talking!" he got up into his face. "You are a mistake! I wanted a son I could take to work and show off, accompany me on fishing trips, but no… I had to get an abomination like your mother in my life!"
Severus remained unfazed.
"We were happy until your mother told me about what she was, and it only got worse when it turned out you were like her!"
"And?"
"And what?! What more of an explanation do you want, boy?!"
Severus laughed.
"What's so funny?!"
"You are!" he got up into his old man's face. "Out of all of the explanations of why everyone hates me, yours has to be the worst."
"I will not be lec-"
"You could have left or just accepted that your wife and son were magical people, but instead you choose to keep us around, turn into an alcoholic and abuse us to satisfy your insecurities."
"Honey," his mother stepped forward. "Don't make him an-"
"Everything I did was to teach you both a lesson!"
"And what lesson was that? That we should be ashamed of what we are? That being normal is the only way to your heart?"
"Yes!"
"It was cruel, and it was wrong!"
Silence passed between father and son, the mother nervously staring at them.
"For so long I hated you, wished I wasn't your son. But now I realize I was hating myself. I couldn't accept you as my father because I couldn't accept myself. And if I am to find true peace from all of this, I need to do exactly that."
"You're weak. Just as I believed."
"No, I'm far stronger than you or my mother. Because at least I recognize my problems now."
His face softened.
"I think I've always wanted us to be family and later believed I could find it at Hogwarts, choosing the side of a twisted group who saw fit to use that against me. Maybe one day I will find that family. But I am damn sure… it isn't you."
"Then you reject me?" his father asked.
"No," he walked forward and embraced his father. "You are my father and I hope that one day… I can find it in my heart to forgive you. But for now… this will have to do."
He felt his father trying to struggle himself free of his embrace but was for some reason weak to do so. Then he felt his body disappearing, opening his eyes to find nothing but dust.
He smiled and turned to his mother, who was crying.
"Severus… I'm so… sorry…"
Out of all the others, he felt more at ease with her. So he walked towards her and embraced her.
"I know, mum," he whispered as she sobbed against his shoulder. "I know."
The two remained in each other's embrace, only her cries being heard.
"You know I don't have much time," she whispered.
"I know."
"Did you read the letter?"
He paused before shaking his head, "No, but I think I know what it says though."
"Please read it when you get the chance," she pulled away to look at him. "I know that I've said it… but… I am so sorry, Sev."
The nickname felt like a knife piercing his knife.
"I know," he repeated. "And I forgive you. Unlike most others, this I can do."
She sniffled and smiled at him, touching the side of his cheek as she began to fade away into dust, "Thank you."
Even after she was gone, his arms remained in place of where she once was, crying his own tears. Every emotion ran free as he felt something happening to his throat, stomach and sacrum; a painful sensation that immediately turned into relief, like as if something was finally unblocked.
The colors of orange, yellow and blue vanished as the black void returned, with the orb right behind him.
He turned and frowned at it, walking up to it.
And like before, he felt the need to touch it and reach other with his hand. Except this time, he didn't need to touch it. Instead, light from the orb poured out and rushed towards him, startling him as it began to consume him, embracing his body in a warm sensation. He saw nothing but whiteness and heard a small humming noise.
And strangely, he felt more relaxed and at peace than he ever did before in his life.
Quote from Naaga on August 18, 2023, 11:51 amThis scene is from Post-War, Chapter 67: Part 10- "Al Andalus"- Chapter 7.
These lines are some of my favourite SnOC lines and I completely adore this couple.
“Evelyn...” he sighed “can you, please...just say something?”
“There's nothing to say, Severus...at least not now.” she looked at him, at his face, at his eyes filled with anxiety and anticipation, at his brow, furrowed, at the tense line of his jaw. Everything about him, every last line of his expression, every movement of his body seemed so unsure, so fearful.
“When?”
“We have time....As much as I want to scream at you, as much as I may feel betrayed...I know tomorrow morning I'll wake up in your arms. Because I love you. I love you too much for my own good. And I can't quit you...And in a way I almost...understand why you did what you did. So yes...we have time...we can work through this. If you trust me from now on, just as much as I have trusted you.”
Severus didn't answer, but she could hear the subtle relief in his breathing, she could see his shoulders relax slightly under his white shirt.
“Lynz...I do love you. Like I never loved anyone before.”
“Don't lie to me...”
“Lily was different. You are different... You gave me peace. Nobody had ever done that.” he sniffled, and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to conceal his tears. Evelyn felt the urge to just hug him, to tell him he didn't need to say anything else, that all he needed was to hold her tight and they'd find a way...but she knew she had to let him talk. She moved closer to him, and let him take the weight off his chest.
“Before you, it felt almost like...I'd been wandering in a desert, all by myself my whole life, starved, thirsty, so...so exhausted...And the desert never ended. Then I finally found somewhere with fresh water to drink, food to eat, a place to lay down and rest...And I was so afraid I'd lose that, and just...go back to what it was before. I couldn't walk alone anymore, I didn't have the strenght. I was just so terrified of going back...”
“You didn't have to be...I love you enough to walk that desert by your side if you need me to. If you want me to. But you have to trust me, trust me that I will.”
Severus fell into her arms with the desperate abandon of a scared little boy seeking the comfort of his mother's embrace. He held her by the waist, tightly as if the sea would drag him and drown him if he didn´t hold on to her. She caressed his head as it lay on her chest and pulled him closer, as close as she had ever held anybody in her life, and she knew she would never let him go.
Followed by an explicit scene.
[spoiler title="Explicit Scene"]
For a moment the whole world around Severus was nothing but the lull of the waves, the whisper of the breeze and her heart, beating steady and calm under the sunkissed warmth of her skin.
This was what peace felt like. That sound. The scent of lavender and the taste of sea salt.
“Sev...” she whispered.
“Yes?” he pulled away slightly to look at her, trying to compose himself, trying not to fall apart at the feeling of her hands tangled in his hair.
“We'll go into town tomorrow. Take Belisa and the kittens as well, I don't want to leave them alone again.”
“Of course, anything you want.”
“But today...let´s just pretend nothing happened? Just today let's think about any of this? Tomorrow we'll worry about everything else.”
The sand was warm and soft under his back when Severus laid down, pulling Evelyn on top of him. Warm and soft as her lips on his. He kissed her back like her lips were water to quench his thirst and food to sate his hunger, like her very breath was air to fill his lungs and save him from drowning. His arms refused to let her go, fastened about her waist with the resolve of a shipwrecked sailor holding on to the piece of driftwood that could mean the difference between life and death. Floating in a vast ocean of fear and uncertainty, Evelyn was the promise of land and a safe port.
The day was slowly drawing to an end. The sun, low in the horizon, crowned her with light, dripping gold and rubies onto the dark waves of her hair. She leaned over him, and Severus could see the sunshine through her eyes. Golden. It always struck him how Evelyn just seemed...golden. How the sun seemed to flow through her, through her eyes, to spread in the glow of her skin. As if she held the sun itself within her. Everything about her was gold, red and rosy, soft and warm, like a september afternoon, when the heat of Summer becomes gentle and Autumn begins to dance among the leaves.
The tide was shifting, the waters rising, and the waves covered with a translucent blanket. The long sundress clung to her, revealing the naked body underneath the soaked fabric. Her breasts tasted of salt and bliss.
Every last inch of his left arm was burning, ablaze in pain. Severus looked up at her, as she straddled him, to take the dress off, and noticed she still had the ring on. Merlin's Asp continued to burn him, its ancient magic scorching the dark magic that would forever be a part of him, buried within his body itself. Severus felt himself quiver with a savage sort of pleasure. It hurt, but it was cleansing, it was purifying. There would always be darkness within him, but the sun in Evelyn's eyes cast away his shadows back into the depths, where they could rest and let him have peace for a while. Merlin's Asp would never fully purge what had been etched into his flesh, but maybe what lay even deeper beneath, at his core...maybe there was something salvageable there.
Severus rolled over, pinning her down, as the waves crashed and the water flowed through her hair, wet sand over the freckles that adorned her face and shoulders. Yes, there was pain. There would always be pain. He needed the pain. He needed the purification. The eyes of the silver snake on her ring glowed brighter, torturing the muscles and ligaments of his arm, shoulder and neck, ripping him apart. Evelyn, unaware, ran her hands across his body. Her hands peeled the shirt from him, tossing it to the waters like an offering, her nails dug into his shoulder blades, then down his back, she grabbed him by the hips, pulling him closer, fumbling with his pants to release his cock, holding him, caaressing him...Not knowing just how much pain she was inflicting upon him, just how much torment came with the dizzying pleasure.
Pain.
Pleasure.
Severus felt like his muscles were being torn from his bones, and yet....He was inside of her. She was warm, golden and welcoming like a September afternoon. She enveloped him, pulled him in. All of him, all his pain, all his darkness, everything...Everything he was, inside of her, and inside of her there was the sun, the sun behind her eyes, the light that chased away the shadows. His mortified, tormented flesh pushed inside her. He took the pain with the pleasure, he gave her his darkness and dove into her light, hoping the fire would purify him, hoping her fire would burn him, cleanse him, and maybe leave behind something worthy of her love.
[/spoiler]
This scene is from Post-War, Chapter 67: Part 10- "Al Andalus"- Chapter 7.
These lines are some of my favourite SnOC lines and I completely adore this couple.
“Evelyn...” he sighed “can you, please...just say something?”
“There's nothing to say, Severus...at least not now.” she looked at him, at his face, at his eyes filled with anxiety and anticipation, at his brow, furrowed, at the tense line of his jaw. Everything about him, every last line of his expression, every movement of his body seemed so unsure, so fearful.
“When?”
“We have time....As much as I want to scream at you, as much as I may feel betrayed...I know tomorrow morning I'll wake up in your arms. Because I love you. I love you too much for my own good. And I can't quit you...And in a way I almost...understand why you did what you did. So yes...we have time...we can work through this. If you trust me from now on, just as much as I have trusted you.”
Severus didn't answer, but she could hear the subtle relief in his breathing, she could see his shoulders relax slightly under his white shirt.
“Lynz...I do love you. Like I never loved anyone before.”
“Don't lie to me...”
“Lily was different. You are different... You gave me peace. Nobody had ever done that.” he sniffled, and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to conceal his tears. Evelyn felt the urge to just hug him, to tell him he didn't need to say anything else, that all he needed was to hold her tight and they'd find a way...but she knew she had to let him talk. She moved closer to him, and let him take the weight off his chest.
“Before you, it felt almost like...I'd been wandering in a desert, all by myself my whole life, starved, thirsty, so...so exhausted...And the desert never ended. Then I finally found somewhere with fresh water to drink, food to eat, a place to lay down and rest...And I was so afraid I'd lose that, and just...go back to what it was before. I couldn't walk alone anymore, I didn't have the strenght. I was just so terrified of going back...”
“You didn't have to be...I love you enough to walk that desert by your side if you need me to. If you want me to. But you have to trust me, trust me that I will.”
Severus fell into her arms with the desperate abandon of a scared little boy seeking the comfort of his mother's embrace. He held her by the waist, tightly as if the sea would drag him and drown him if he didn´t hold on to her. She caressed his head as it lay on her chest and pulled him closer, as close as she had ever held anybody in her life, and she knew she would never let him go.
Followed by an explicit scene.
Explicit SceneFor a moment the whole world around Severus was nothing but the lull of the waves, the whisper of the breeze and her heart, beating steady and calm under the sunkissed warmth of her skin.
This was what peace felt like. That sound. The scent of lavender and the taste of sea salt.
“Sev...” she whispered.
“Yes?” he pulled away slightly to look at her, trying to compose himself, trying not to fall apart at the feeling of her hands tangled in his hair.
“We'll go into town tomorrow. Take Belisa and the kittens as well, I don't want to leave them alone again.”
“Of course, anything you want.”
“But today...let´s just pretend nothing happened? Just today let's think about any of this? Tomorrow we'll worry about everything else.”
The sand was warm and soft under his back when Severus laid down, pulling Evelyn on top of him. Warm and soft as her lips on his. He kissed her back like her lips were water to quench his thirst and food to sate his hunger, like her very breath was air to fill his lungs and save him from drowning. His arms refused to let her go, fastened about her waist with the resolve of a shipwrecked sailor holding on to the piece of driftwood that could mean the difference between life and death. Floating in a vast ocean of fear and uncertainty, Evelyn was the promise of land and a safe port.
The day was slowly drawing to an end. The sun, low in the horizon, crowned her with light, dripping gold and rubies onto the dark waves of her hair. She leaned over him, and Severus could see the sunshine through her eyes. Golden. It always struck him how Evelyn just seemed...golden. How the sun seemed to flow through her, through her eyes, to spread in the glow of her skin. As if she held the sun itself within her. Everything about her was gold, red and rosy, soft and warm, like a september afternoon, when the heat of Summer becomes gentle and Autumn begins to dance among the leaves.
The tide was shifting, the waters rising, and the waves covered with a translucent blanket. The long sundress clung to her, revealing the naked body underneath the soaked fabric. Her breasts tasted of salt and bliss.
Every last inch of his left arm was burning, ablaze in pain. Severus looked up at her, as she straddled him, to take the dress off, and noticed she still had the ring on. Merlin's Asp continued to burn him, its ancient magic scorching the dark magic that would forever be a part of him, buried within his body itself. Severus felt himself quiver with a savage sort of pleasure. It hurt, but it was cleansing, it was purifying. There would always be darkness within him, but the sun in Evelyn's eyes cast away his shadows back into the depths, where they could rest and let him have peace for a while. Merlin's Asp would never fully purge what had been etched into his flesh, but maybe what lay even deeper beneath, at his core...maybe there was something salvageable there.
Severus rolled over, pinning her down, as the waves crashed and the water flowed through her hair, wet sand over the freckles that adorned her face and shoulders. Yes, there was pain. There would always be pain. He needed the pain. He needed the purification. The eyes of the silver snake on her ring glowed brighter, torturing the muscles and ligaments of his arm, shoulder and neck, ripping him apart. Evelyn, unaware, ran her hands across his body. Her hands peeled the shirt from him, tossing it to the waters like an offering, her nails dug into his shoulder blades, then down his back, she grabbed him by the hips, pulling him closer, fumbling with his pants to release his cock, holding him, caaressing him...Not knowing just how much pain she was inflicting upon him, just how much torment came with the dizzying pleasure.
Pain.
Pleasure.
Severus felt like his muscles were being torn from his bones, and yet....He was inside of her. She was warm, golden and welcoming like a September afternoon. She enveloped him, pulled him in. All of him, all his pain, all his darkness, everything...Everything he was, inside of her, and inside of her there was the sun, the sun behind her eyes, the light that chased away the shadows. His mortified, tormented flesh pushed inside her. He took the pain with the pleasure, he gave her his darkness and dove into her light, hoping the fire would purify him, hoping her fire would burn him, cleanse him, and maybe leave behind something worthy of her love.
![](https://alwayssnape.com/wp-content/uploads/avatars/58/1674973176-bpfull.jpg)
Quote from The Gestalt Prince on August 18, 2023, 12:19 pmThis isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
This isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
![](https://alwayssnape.com/wp-content/uploads/avatars/216/1685078198-bpfull.png)
Quote from Dark Angel on August 18, 2023, 12:28 pmQuote from The Gestalt Prince on August 18, 2023, 12:19 pmThis isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
Oohhh I didn't know you liked "The Long Road Home"!
I love it and I have no idea why no one is writing post Halloween 1981 Snilys inspired by this masterpiece but thanks for reminding me of it.
My favorite part of it is actually the wonderful bromance between Severus and Regulus.
I'll have to look for the chapter but there's one where Lily causes a disaster at the Department of Mysteries and the chaos that ensues afterwards is perfection.
Here it is The Long Road Home Chapter 30
Mulciber rounded on Lily Potter, suddenly, filled with rage as she grasped for her disarmed wand and began to flip herself over; too slow. Vulnerable. Not a chance at defending herself.
Screw Dumbledore's orders.
"Avada keda-"
"Expelliarmus!"
Mulciber's wand flew several feet into the air.
A deathly silence filled the room, broken only by the sound of the thin wooden object hitting the stone ground.
Mulciber followed it with his eyes, rounding to face Regulus the second that it did, with eyes that expressed shock, confusion and further rage; "What the hell?"
"We need her alive," Regulus declared.
"Why?"
Why, you ask? Good question.
Killing as many Order members as possible was part of the mission, also.
Regulus' mind went blank; there was no way he could talk his way out of this.
Mulciber's eyes flashed with realisation.
Of course they did. Many of the other Death Eaters had been suspicious of him, some of them for years, because of the Foundation.
And now, Mulciber knew the truth.
Regulus raised his wand as Mulciber spun, lunging for his own, and the quick movement meant that Regulus' spell only just missed him and then Lily Potter sprung to action and sent a further curse his way. And, suddenly, the room was filled with lights and further smashes and the murmured voices of the prophecies joined their cries. This time the attacks were ferocious, now that Lily and Regulus were not holding back the impact of their own spells.
The noise, Merlin, if the others hadn't heard her screams before, they would certainly hear this.
Lily was using a mix of jinxes and curses; 'sectumsempra', 'einlatus', 'impedimenta', 'stupefy'.
But surely she knew; there was no way. It had to be done. It had to.
For them both.
"Expelliarmus!"
Lily disarmed him, when they finally managed to overpower him, their attacks coming together, too fast for him to repel them both.
The door to the room burst open, just as the curse left Regulus' lips;
"Avada kedavra!"
Mulciber fell to the ground; dead.
Peter Pettigrew stood in the doorway.
Eyes locked on Regulus.
Regulus did not look in Lily's direction; she was concealed behind the shelves. He willed her, silently, to remain so. Don't let him see you. Otherwise, this was all for nothing.
Regulus lifted his wand, swift in his movements, and Pettigrew did the same; Regulus firing a curse in the insufferable man's direction, another killing curse – it came so easy to his lips that it sickened him – and Pettigrew turned his wand on himself and, suddenly, the man was no more.
And a rat went running from the clothes that piled, escaping Regulus' further curses that he fired at the creature, as Regulus raced to the doorway; failing in his endeavours.
Catching sight of it as he reached the doorframe.
The rat escaped through a hole in the wall.
Back to the Dark Lord.
Regulus could do nothing but run.
Quote from The Gestalt Prince on August 18, 2023, 12:19 pmThis isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
Oohhh I didn't know you liked "The Long Road Home"!
I love it and I have no idea why no one is writing post Halloween 1981 Snilys inspired by this masterpiece but thanks for reminding me of it.
My favorite part of it is actually the wonderful bromance between Severus and Regulus.
I'll have to look for the chapter but there's one where Lily causes a disaster at the Department of Mysteries and the chaos that ensues afterwards is perfection.
Here it is The Long Road Home Chapter 30
Mulciber rounded on Lily Potter, suddenly, filled with rage as she grasped for her disarmed wand and began to flip herself over; too slow. Vulnerable. Not a chance at defending herself.
Screw Dumbledore's orders.
"Avada keda-"
"Expelliarmus!"
Mulciber's wand flew several feet into the air.
A deathly silence filled the room, broken only by the sound of the thin wooden object hitting the stone ground.
Mulciber followed it with his eyes, rounding to face Regulus the second that it did, with eyes that expressed shock, confusion and further rage; "What the hell?"
"We need her alive," Regulus declared.
"Why?"
Why, you ask? Good question.
Killing as many Order members as possible was part of the mission, also.
Regulus' mind went blank; there was no way he could talk his way out of this.
Mulciber's eyes flashed with realisation.
Of course they did. Many of the other Death Eaters had been suspicious of him, some of them for years, because of the Foundation.
And now, Mulciber knew the truth.
Regulus raised his wand as Mulciber spun, lunging for his own, and the quick movement meant that Regulus' spell only just missed him and then Lily Potter sprung to action and sent a further curse his way. And, suddenly, the room was filled with lights and further smashes and the murmured voices of the prophecies joined their cries. This time the attacks were ferocious, now that Lily and Regulus were not holding back the impact of their own spells.
The noise, Merlin, if the others hadn't heard her screams before, they would certainly hear this.
Lily was using a mix of jinxes and curses; 'sectumsempra', 'einlatus', 'impedimenta', 'stupefy'.
But surely she knew; there was no way. It had to be done. It had to.
For them both.
"Expelliarmus!"
Lily disarmed him, when they finally managed to overpower him, their attacks coming together, too fast for him to repel them both.
The door to the room burst open, just as the curse left Regulus' lips;
"Avada kedavra!"
Mulciber fell to the ground; dead.
Peter Pettigrew stood in the doorway.
Eyes locked on Regulus.
Regulus did not look in Lily's direction; she was concealed behind the shelves. He willed her, silently, to remain so. Don't let him see you. Otherwise, this was all for nothing.
Regulus lifted his wand, swift in his movements, and Pettigrew did the same; Regulus firing a curse in the insufferable man's direction, another killing curse – it came so easy to his lips that it sickened him – and Pettigrew turned his wand on himself and, suddenly, the man was no more.
And a rat went running from the clothes that piled, escaping Regulus' further curses that he fired at the creature, as Regulus raced to the doorway; failing in his endeavours.
Catching sight of it as he reached the doorframe.
The rat escaped through a hole in the wall.
Back to the Dark Lord.
Regulus could do nothing but run.
Quote from Naaga on August 18, 2023, 1:11 pmQuote from Dark Angel on August 18, 2023, 12:28 pmQuote from The Gestalt Prince on August 18, 2023, 12:19 pmThis isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
Oohhh I didn't know you liked "The Long Road Home"!
I love it and I have no idea why no one is writing post Halloween 1981 Snilys inspired by this masterpiece but thanks for reminding me of it.
My favorite part of it is actually the wonderful bromance between Severus and Regulus.
I'll have to look for the chapter but there's one where Lily causes a disaster at the Department of Mysteries and the chaos that ensues afterwards is perfection
I've also read it. I started into it because of Severitus tag and got duped into reading the main pairing. 😹😹
Yeah, bromance between Snape and Regulus was really good and Grace's father is the best character in the fic. 😸
Quote from Dark Angel on August 18, 2023, 12:28 pmQuote from The Gestalt Prince on August 18, 2023, 12:19 pmThis isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
Oohhh I didn't know you liked "The Long Road Home"!
I love it and I have no idea why no one is writing post Halloween 1981 Snilys inspired by this masterpiece but thanks for reminding me of it.
My favorite part of it is actually the wonderful bromance between Severus and Regulus.
I'll have to look for the chapter but there's one where Lily causes a disaster at the Department of Mysteries and the chaos that ensues afterwards is perfection
I've also read it. I started into it because of Severitus tag and got duped into reading the main pairing. 😹😹
Yeah, bromance between Snape and Regulus was really good and Grace's father is the best character in the fic. 😸
![](http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/7d6be48a431ff507269b1cbaeb3b4d77?s=64&r=r&d=https%3A%2F%2Falwayssnape.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2023%2F01%2Favatar.png)
Quote from Namesakesnake on August 18, 2023, 1:40 pmThis isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
Long road home is my favourite!
I don't know why but one of my favourite scenes in that fic is when Sirus is all mad about finding out that Lily is dating Severus and he goes to vent to Regulus thinking he'll somehow he sympathetic.
But then Regulus just starts laughing at him and sort of like like bro, that's my best friend what are you expecting me to do? Rage with you or something?
Regulus is so perfect in that fic. And then Malachi and Grace are some of the best OCs
This isn't a specific scene, but it's a recurring quote from Penelope Muir's The Long Road Home. For those who haven't read it, there is a certain character named Grace (who is the most adorable child character I've ever read) who repeats the line "He loves me more than pudding" in reference to her father.
Long road home is my favourite!
I don't know why but one of my favourite scenes in that fic is when Sirus is all mad about finding out that Lily is dating Severus and he goes to vent to Regulus thinking he'll somehow he sympathetic.
But then Regulus just starts laughing at him and sort of like like bro, that's my best friend what are you expecting me to do? Rage with you or something?
Regulus is so perfect in that fic. And then Malachi and Grace are some of the best OCs
![](https://alwayssnape.com/wp-content/uploads/avatars/216/1685078198-bpfull.png)
Quote from Dark Angel on August 18, 2023, 1:54 pm@naaga I love what you did there 😂 When I started reading this I was still a Snily fan, after reading the first chapters of @zain 's Falling Apart, I was enlightened with the truth and realized I don't actually like Snily...but I do read it. (Look, I'm not crazy ok, strange but not crazy..maybe a little)
@namesakesnake ditto to that! I especially loved Malachi and shortly after reading "The Long Road Home," I started reading "Certain Dark Things" which featured an OC character who is Sirius Black's daughter. Both are two of my favorite OCs ever and I'd love to see a fanfic featuring them together.
@naaga I love what you did there 😂 When I started reading this I was still a Snily fan, after reading the first chapters of @zain 's Falling Apart, I was enlightened with the truth and realized I don't actually like Snily...but I do read it. (Look, I'm not crazy ok, strange but not crazy..maybe a little)
@namesakesnake ditto to that! I especially loved Malachi and shortly after reading "The Long Road Home," I started reading "Certain Dark Things" which featured an OC character who is Sirius Black's daughter. Both are two of my favorite OCs ever and I'd love to see a fanfic featuring them together.
Quote from Naaga on August 18, 2023, 2:08 pmKudos to @zain for enlightening you to the truth @darkangel. 😹😹
I feel proud to have realised it on my own. 🥹
Kudos to @zain for enlightening you to the truth @darkangel. 😹😹
I feel proud to have realised it on my own. 🥹
Quote from Salvyus on August 18, 2023, 4:51 pm+1 for the Long Road Home 😂
I was lured in by the "Spy Severus Snape" tag, and left excited to explore the "Regulus Black Lives" one... Only to be sorely disappointed, when I ended up being bombarded with Marauders fics :(((
+1 for the Long Road Home 😂
I was lured in by the "Spy Severus Snape" tag, and left excited to explore the "Regulus Black Lives" one... Only to be sorely disappointed, when I ended up being bombarded with Marauders fics :(((