"Light of Mine" (Severus Snape/OC) MA
Quote from SanctuaryAngel on February 15, 2024, 1:33 amHappy Valentines Day, my dearest
You passed each other in the corridors on the first Valentine’s Day, heading over to your respective classes, never knowing how the future would play out. You said not a word, as you knew he still held a fair bit of resentment for you. You offered a smile anyway, left him to his day, and gave him the space he needed to deal with his new commitment to Hogwarts.
From the second Valentine’s Day, you had since become friends. There were moment’s littered within that year where you grew close, and a trust began to form. You knew that year had been a difficult one, and yet you could sense him finally understanding your compassion and kindness for such a man - something he had finally come to believe as true and genuine. You still gave him the space he needed, but also knew when to guide him in the times you knew he looked lost within himself. There were days he even approached you regarding Hogwarts matters, but something within those once-lost eyes glimmered a small light you’d never seen before.
The third Valentine’s Day although spent working, had given light to a close forming friendship. You had been Severus’ voice of reason and his rock, and in turn, he offered his assistance on the investigation that had since rocked you to your core. You could see that dedication – that incredible drive – within him. A passion to complete what was once started, and to end what should have ended years ago. This year brought you much closer, and Severus began to trust you so much more, that he began to confide in you his deepest fears and darkness. He became your level head, and you became his guiding light.
You had been officially together for a few months already on the fourth Valentine’s Day, but no one within the school knew of your relationship. At first, you were happy keeping this sacred secret and revelling in the almost forbidden nature it held. But you knew that took its toll. You could see Severus’ longing for something more – as did you – but it didn’t feel like the right time. He left you white and red peonies in the day you were away on Auror matters, in the hopes to cheer you up on what had been a difficult day. You spent the night together in the bliss of the other, losing yourselves and leaving stressful matters behind for a night of passion and deep intimacy.
The fifth Valentine’s Day was peculiar – the school had since been made aware of such a union, and despite the relief of never having to tiptoe around nosey students in secret, it had since become a public affair. Severus has been rather dismal with this fact when multiple students had left flowers and kind words in letters at his door, and even your own. You knew the students were supportive of it, taking bets and spreading rumors in the lead-up, and yet having since come to trust in their Head of Slytherin House once again.
You celebrate every day with him as a testament to your love, being filled with so much joy once the sixth Valentine’s Day arrived. But as you would soon learn of the beautiful new life growing within you, you could not be any happier with the life you have shared with a man who meant absolutely everything to you. A child, one whose life was stolen from you all those years ago, to be blessed with another chance to try again.
Because in the end, it was just a mere day. Every day was a celebration of your greatest love, and you both knew you were in the best place in your lives. A smile of contentment and such bliss was no longer a rare feat from the man, but every moment together brought you the love you had both been forever searching for.
Your love. Your dearest. Your always.
Great! 😸
New Chapter published!
Full chapter word count: 9352
Dawn ran a pale finger softly across the man’s gaunt cheek, feeling every worried crease and imperfection of his skin as it trailed down to his haggard, stubbled chin, “I see that pain within. I see how much it is ruling your life. But you have to let go. You have to be kinder to yourself.”
“How can I? It is who I am. I don’t know who I’d be without it.”
Dawn gently shook her head adamantly, “It is not who you are. You think of yourself as some monster, deserving to be chained and sealed away. But I do not see that of you. Sure, I know some of the things you had done. Everyone does. We all make terrible mistakes. In times of war, it happens even to the best of us. But I do not see you as capable of those things anymore. What matters is who you choose to be, now.”
“My choices were never simple by any means. No matter how many times I wish they were.”
“Choices are not meant to be simple. Good and bad ones help you to grow. But making the right ones will soothe your soul and set you on a better path. You are worthy of so much goodness, and one day you will believe that wholeheartedly. Some day you won’t have to be at war with yourself.”
“I do not know, Dawn - “ Severus gently grabbed her hand and moved it away from his face in dismay, “ - It is far too dangerous for you to try and help me. I will only pull you down deeper. You deserve far better than I…I keep falling…”
“Then let me fall with you, “ Dawn whispered.
“No – “ Severus shook his head, knowing full well what he had done in his past, “ - I do not want to hurt you. I’ve hurt many…so many…”
“You won’t hurt me, Severus, “ Dawn furrowed her brow, confident in her resolve. She gently unclasped her hand from Severus’ resistant hold and cupped his face with both of her palms, leaning forward to tenderly kiss him on his forehead with her lips soft as silk, “I won’t give up on you.”
Severus closed his eyes, with the difficulty of those words that had never been spoken to him before. Because so many people had once turned their back on him. Like Albus…Like Lily…He didn’t feel worthy of Dawn’s love. The softness in her skin in contact with his own. The warmth in her touch keeping his cold heart from freezing completely amongst the icy storm raging within.
He was scared out of his mind of her growing so close, but he couldn’t stop it this time. Her breath was like an elixir; invigorating and delicate. She was like a candlelight amongst the cavernous darkness of his mind, lighting the way through the mist and the dust. But he was still scared to pursue this light and the journey it would take him on. To leave the familiar sanctuary of his mind and travel out of his own comfort.
But now the journey was not one of loneliness anymore. This time on his journey, he had company. A hand, pulling him forward and out of the dust and shadows and into a light he had only remembered from the Third Phase. A light pointing the way to a future he never thought he’d ever live to see.
Dawn’ kindness and patience were the sunrays through a dark, cloudy, miserable day. Overtime she remained so gentle with him, guiding him through the darker days into his slow realisation to believe in the miracle that was hope. A dream he once thought was so far out of reach, yet now seemed possible.
She loved him.
Severus always had difficulty reading those softer emotions, but he could feel her love and tenderness towards him. Something that was an unfamiliar feeling, causing that hesitation and confusion as to what he was supposed to do. But to figure out how to love her was the hardest task of all. He had to learn how to be softer. Gentler. He had to learn how to speak with sincerity, not ruthlessness amongst fear. The heart within his hands was delicate, and fragile. Yet strong, and resilient. She trusted him with her heart, and a pull within him told of the trust he felt with her, too. There was a bond between them, strengthening overtime. She saw him deeply through his shattered soul, and he was drawn to the light from her beacon.
Sensing his hurt and worry, Dawn allowed him to melt against her, resting his head in the crook of her neck, and a hand over where his heart beat so feverishly. Her arms slowly wrapped around him, feeling her comforting warmth; her flickering flame. The vanilla scent of her hair tickled his senses, as he rested his own wary head against hers. Without thinking, he found himself gently stroking her dark, golden waves and he found comfort in her embrace longing so desperately for it to last forever.
He held her so tightly as if it was the last thing he’d ever do.
A light to pierce through his dark. That was all he ever wanted. That was all he ever sought and fought for so long, and so many miserable, painful years.
Read full chapter HERE
Just another bit of additional content for my ultimate OTP, this time from Dawn's first-person perspective 🥰They keep me invested in their beautiful world.
Another.
Occasionally they happen more fiercely than the last. Nightmares ripping at his soul, like the torment of a Dementor upon one already broken.
Sometimes you have to gently wake him up – other times the nightmare will do it for him.
Sometimes he wept quietly within his clammy hands, shaking like a stray cat trapped outside in a snowstorm. Sometimes he sobbed so violently, that she feared the Silencing Charms upon his quarters may shatter from the pain wailing from him. Sometimes he would be so numb to what he had been cruelly taunted with, that he would become a hollow shell of the man he was, silent and mute in the coming days. His eyes gloss over, lost, and empty.
But every time that happened, you were always there. Although you were a heavy sleeper, you were sensitive to him. His movements, his murmurs, his cries. You grew so accustomed to his presence since you were together, that it was easy to react accordingly to his needs. You stirred and awoke whenever he did, and through whatever memory haunted him, you held him dearly as if the moment you let go, he would crumble like sand within your grasp.
There were some nights where you had to drag him into the bath to allow the cool water to drain away the pools of sweat and agony. He wept as you gently ran the damp cloth over his shaken, pale skin, littered with scars no man of his age should have to bear.
He was a man with few words, rendered speechless as his voice was ripped from him as he tried his best to process old pain, but you knew he was grateful by the way his dark eyes welled with tears, looking up at your bright, hopeful ones. He needed you, despite him not wanting you to see him in that state.
He needed you. A man who usually carried himself with such dignity and command, faltered when you were there. There was never any judgement or impatience with him. You remained gentle with him, soothing him through that visceral pain he only ever dared to expose when he was with you. His source of comfort.
He trusted you, and you always reassured him that you’d never leave him while his pain resurfaced. Sweet, kind words whispered in his moments of terror, soothed him like a child scared of the dark. With you, he was able to confront those fears and breathe in a new life when his instructed breaths calmed his erratic mind.
It was devastating to think no one else knew how difficult his nights could be because he masked it so well in the public eye, but you were grateful to be there for him without a second thought.
With you, he felt safe - his light in the dark.
Liking it a lot! 😸
Dawn was like a breath of fresh air on a murky, stagnant night.
He didn’t know how she did it, but there was always such a calmness to her in the way she approached him, and the incredible softness of her voice reassuring every bit of his erratic mind. When she was firm and honest with him, it was always in the most considerate of ways, without malice, or ill-intent. When he expected such harsh verbal lashings from others, she always responded in kind.
She had the kind of demeanor that allowed Severus to feel safe and vulnerable with, because somehow in that rare heart of hers, she was able to slowly unravel him, and gently peel away the defences of his own heart that had kept him protected for so many long, lonely years.
Oh, she was beautiful. Not just in the way she appeared, but in the way she presented herself. Simply because of who she was. The way she approached others offering her guidance, and the way she gave words of wisdom to those who needed to hear it. Including himself.
He didn’t know where the hell she found her patience, but it was something he treasured when they were together. She was intelligent and open-minded, and always with intrigue with his own knowledge – she cared deeply about what he had to say. The way her lips broadened into the most dazzling smile when she listening to him, reminded of Severus that his own capabilities of a smile can still exist because her presence allowed it to be. And for once, he didn’t feel shame in doing so. For once in his life, he deserved to feel human. He deserved to live a happier, simpler life, despite his past self wishing for it to just end.
With her, his heart swelled.
How could this have ever happened? A man with a vile forked tongue, frayed nerves, without the will to live, and with the bitterness to repel anyone around his dark cloud of a presence.
She was indeed a light for his wary, tired soul. A welcome reprieve of the life he lived previously, and it was a miracle someone like her even desired to have any interest in him.
It was a miracle in itself that he ever fell for her.
A woman with such exuberant energy, and empathy, lifted his own soul from the depths of the earth, and gave him another chance to live.
A life he only once dreamed of. A life he knew he wanted to share with her.
…And a future he found the hope and determination to finally see through.
I like the way you represent Snape's soft side with Dawn. 😸
Thank you @naaga ❤️
Severus is a tough man to crack, and Dawn is one of the very rare people he feels comfortable to soften with. She just knows the right thing to say, and Severus is humbled by her approach to him. I love delving into Severus' vulnerability and his awareness with uncovering this other side to him that was long buried. He is constantly at war with himself throughout the story, and afraid to take these leaps of faith.
The rooms were dark and devoured of clear daylight and the only light available was the scarce lamps emitting a dull glow in the corner of the rooms. The air seemed stale, and Harry was certain he could smell a trace of firewhiskey wafting through the small abode. There was a window ajar by the kitchen, but only barely. However not enough for a fresh breeze of cool air to wash away what felt like dust suspended around him. The rooms, although basic in furniture, felt like they did not receive the care they should have or the time to maintain them and keep them in good condition. Some of the furniture was shifted oddly out of place, and there were some items strewn across the floor in such a careless fashion.
He knew Severus was usually a neat and tidy man, often taking great care of cleanliness and order within his space, or rather, used to be. But seeing so many things in such strange disarray now was alarming.
The pair of them wandered to the cold, empty couches and sat down. But Harry could not help but feel like something was quite seriously wrong and that left him with an odd unease.
“I caught another Slytherin around the Astronomy Tower the other night…A Fourth Year, “ Dawn mentioned quietly so that the surrounding portraits could not eavesdrop. She felt a deep sadness within her at the thought of her recollection and several times, she couldn’t even bear to meet Minerva’s regard, “She was alone, and it made me anxious. I gave her detention for being caught after hours; however, it was merely for her safety in which I did it.”
Minerva didn’t even look surprised. Instead, the woman slowly nodded, “Well handled, Dawn. And the wards?”
“I have enacted extra protective charms upon the last floor, but last I went to re-check them, someone had already brought them down, “ Dawn sighed worriedly, “Would you like me to talk to the Slytherins? On behalf of Horace?”
The Headmistress gave an almost miserable chuckle, “You know they will not take kindly to a non-Slytherin, and you’ll be lucky to get a single word out of them, and believe me, I’ve tried. They trust only their own right now.”
“We can’t just do nothing, Minerva. This is horrible…Absolutely horrible, “ Dawn protested. She felt such deep sorrow within for such a fragile situation and finding the best way to approach it had been one of the hardest Hogwarts tasks of all. In this situation, she really felt for Minerva and how she must have been feeling with all of this. Minerva was quite obviously blaming herself for the direction the Slytherin house was heading, and it hurt Dawn to know that she was prepared to take full responsibility.
“I won’t dispute that – I agree, “ Minerva looked extremely troubled, “I’m currently at a loss. Kingsley will be reinstating a Healer specifically for counselling after Easter and I hope that can make a difference. Somehow.”
“I hope so, too. I can take extra patrols, in the hope that too, can make a difference, “ Dawn soon lowered her voice, frowning deeply in seriousness in weight of her words, “We won’t fail them, Minerva. If we falter now, then they lose hope.”
Minerva glanced sadly at Dawn, and it was the first time she had seen her look so overwhelmed, “I have failed them. And I alone will bear that burden.”
“You haven’t failed them, Minerva, “ Dawn shook her head adamantly and leaned forward, “These children are feeling the burdens and failures of the Death Eaters and supporters within their families – this has not been an easy journey for them. They are essentially paying for the sins of their families, and we can only hope to guide them on a better path away from all of that. Please do not think so little of your efforts.”
