Alpha/Omega
Quote from Sam on March 27, 2024, 12:36 pm...
I can't believe you forgot the most important Megaverse out of all. The Sigma Universe! It is the most underrated and overlooked Megaverse in my humble opinion.
In this megaverse, Severus is a true Chad. He has that chiseled physique of a Greek God and a jawline that would make every character wet themselves out of sheer excitement, be they men or women.
Eileen Prince was practically a princess. Her beauty and charm were envied by entirety of wizardkind. Tobias was a wealthy billionaire and a gentleman who loved his wife dearly, despite him being a muggle and being slightly skeptical about magic and the wizarding world. Don't ask how they ended up living close to Cokesworth, but they were living in the wealthy part or something.
Severus was adored by his parents, and he had a completely normal childhood. He was friends with Lily, who was envious of his fabulous lifestyle.
During the first confrontation of Severus with Potter and Black at the Hogwarts Express, he had slammed both boys into the wall once they had disparaged his desire to sort into Slytherin house. Afterwards, this led to the boys having a hatred of him.
Somewhere around fourth or fifth year at Hogwarts, Severus was just chilling and contemplating about some muggle slang words and writing in a diary. Potter and his cronies snuck up on him and snatched his diary while Severus glared at the foolish boys. They had never managed to do anything to him except casting minor jinxes at him and he used to beat them up regularly with the help of his Slytherin friends, but they never seemed to learn.
James began to read the diary and came across the words "Ligma" and "Sugondese" and asked in a confused voice, "What the hell is Ligma?"
Severus smirked and replied "Ligma balls", as the crowd began to laugh at Potter and his cronies.
James was gobsmacked and Sirius was practically frothing at his mouth. Remus was feeling embarassed and Peter was looking at the crowd and feeling like the rat he was.
Severus was rather unbothered by this event, and he whispered "Sugondese", which made James even more confused while Sirius thought that he had casted some dark spell at them.
"Sugon what?" James couldn't help but ask.
Severus had a manic grin and yelled "Sugondese nuts!" and punched Potter right on the face. Potter crumpled on the ground while screaming in pain as the crowd jeered and laughed. Some had even pissed themselves out of hilarity of it all.
Sirius felt outraged and screamed "You'll pay for this, Snape" before lunging towards Severus, but Severus' Slytherin friends had arrived not long before. Mulciber was looking at the situation and he felt somewhat confused, not to mention his underpants had been jinxed earlier with an itching charm by some cheeky Gryffindor.
"My balls itch!", Mulciber said after trying to scratch his groin but tackled Sirius before he could attack Severus. During all this nonsense, some students had gone to fetch the teachers about this confrontation. The headmaster had arrived not long after this and called out to everyone.
"I am rather disappointed by what's happening here. Is this how all of you behave?"
This had brought the much-needed peace and quietness while the students were busy looking at each other. However, someone amongst the crowd was snickering and this turned out to be none other than Severus himself.
Severus had wordlessly casted 'Levicorpus' on Dumbledore who felt himself being lifted by his ankles, and his robes came all the way over his face. Dumbledore felt rather ashamed of the moment because he wasn't wearing anything underneath. Over the years due to his age, Dumbledore used to go commando underneath his robes because it made the trips to lavatory much easier. He was regretting not wearing any undergarments.
The crowd that was silent due to Dumbledore now began to laugh even with more intensity, as the shriveled dong of his was on full display to everyone gathered. Someone spotted Professor McGonagall coming over and warned everyone about it, resulting in everyone skedaddling out of there.
Minerva had arrived soon, and she screamed "What the hell are you doing, Albus. Have you no shame?" while Albus was fumbling over his robes trying to summon his wand, wandlessly, which he had left it in his office.
All this silliness aside, I can't seem to understand the whole Alpha/Omega/Beta/Gamma stuff. Perhaps I am too old or just plain stupid.
So basically, this trope erases all the complexity, vulnerability, and humanity of Severus's character, turning him into a one-dimensional masturbatory fantasy for incels? I know you said you're being silly, but dear god…
😂😂😂
Oh, you sweet summer child! You wouldn't get it because you're not a sigma. Only true chads can understand this literary masterpiece.
I was poking some fun at the whole concept of megaverses in H.P fandom with this parody of dubious nature. The cringe memes from "American Psycho" and the song called "Drive Forever" plus calling it "Sigma male" mindset have ruined my view of the words Alpha, Beta, Omega etc. and I get a completely different image in my mind at reading those words in any context. 😂
Also, the zoomer gotcha memes about "Ligma" and "Sugondese" had to be inserted for extra cringe while making him completely out of character with just the name Severus attached.
Anyways, that aside, I still don't understand the whole megaverses schtick. If the intention is to write smut, just write it without some pseudoscientific-magical bullshit reason for characters to be horny for each other.
On a sidenote and to make it extra clear, these aren't my views at all. I tried to channel as much edginess and cringe imaginable and wrote it just for the heck of it. Perhaps, I should post it on my ao3 too since I haven't posted anything there since January. 😆
Yeah, I'm not familiar with any of that stuff, though I also find it rather silly. Human beings will fuck anywhere, anytime, and for a multitude of reasons (for no reason at all). The fact that there are more than 8 billion people on the planet proves this, and I guarantee that not one of those concessions had anything to with any megaverse.
Also, I get that those aren't your views, though it did make me cringe. I think you should post it on AO3… I'd be curious (and probably a bit horrified) to read any positive reviews. 😂
