What Is Your Interpretation of Severus's Love for Lily?
I love what ifs where Lily also has a realization that the Marauders were indeed hurting Severus far more than she realized for that reason. A lot of their troubles could've been avoided with better communication but not just Severus sacrificed everything. Love is a two-way street after all.
My take on this is, it's a little bit of everything but it's rooted in ultimately love. I know this sounds like a cop out (it is, I'm a fairly indecisive individual), but hear me out.
Let us start with the definition of love, the noun, based on the Oxford English Dictionary:
love /ləv/ n. 1 an intense feeling of deep affection; a feeling of deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 2 a great interest and pleasure in something. 3 a person or thing that one loves.
The definition itself is fairly vague but it is clear it must involve three components: intensity, affection, and interest. In my opinion, this feeling evolved throughout Severus life as he grew into the surly traumatized shadow we know canonically. As a boy, the feeling was mostly platonic with hints of romantic interest. I can see him not knowing any better and mainly associating Lily with companionship, fun, and safety . Looking into his early years at Hogwarts, surrounded by peers his age and students older than him, I could see romantic and sexual desires begin to form. This is a natural development as children become teenagers but, given how close he was to Lily (she was most likely his only true friend at Hogwarts), it's not a far reach to say those feelings could develop in their relationship. Whether it was one sided, I'm honestly not sure. We don't know too much about Lily.
However, with the introduction of James Potter, I can see that interest becoming malignant like a tumor. Competing for Lily's favor, the constantly bickering and taunting, it would have transformed into obsession. How dare James Potter claim what is mine? The audacity of James Potter asking Lily out. Severus the Man was known for his poor temper and inability to handle his emotions, I cringe at how much worse Severus the Boy must have been. As a teenager, his emotional intelligence would have been a negative integer and his house certainly did not help. Without anyone to talk to and without avenues to reflect on his behavior and emotions, the only thing Severus felt must have felt at the time was closer to lust and obsession. This would have been exponentially increased with their friendship ending and the budding romance between James and Lily. James had something he could not, and Severus must have felt only resentment and maddening desire.
As we move into his adult years, the most canonically relevant part, I can see that obsession transforming with Lily's death. Lily was no longer an item to be won, or a goal to be reached. Instead she was now his sin, a permanent reminder of his foolishness and flaws. In a way, he still does dehumanize her. Here's the definition of obsession:
ob·ses·sion /əbˈseSH(ə)n/ n. 1 the state of being obsessed with someone or something; an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.
For most of the wizarding world, Lily seems to be some kind of martyr. The mother of the Boy-Who-Lived, not the brilliant muggleborn who came from Cokeworth, who had friends, who had a family, who had dreams and wishes. Severus is not excluded from this but instead of forgetting those traits and distilling her into one aspect, he goes into the complete opposite direction. He remembers her laugh, her smile, her kindness, every feature he loved. His actions robbed the world of that, a world with Lily. His obsession is what he lost, what he took out from this world, Lily. At this point, the lust he felt must have dissipated, leaving only regret and obsession in his heart. I don't think his feelings are platonic and certainly more on the romantic end of the spectrum, but what we see is truly just obsession fueled by regret.
In summary, the guy is hella messed up and the system failed him. Severus seems to be a naturally introverted dude with self-confidence issues as a teenager. With people tormenting him and the world against him (as a result of his actions and as a result of just being born into an awful circumstance), he twisted into something ugly. It makes total sense he would latch onto the only person that was genuinely kind to him. The fact that he also got her killed, when he was just trying to prove to the world (as well as her, directly or indirectly can be debated) he was worth something, it's a no brainer the dude was obsessed for the rest of his life.
(halp I'm procrastinating on my next chapter update.)
