Round Robin: The Post-Grad Prince: Part 1 ***COMPLETE***
Title: The Post-Grad Prince: Part 1
Premise: It's June 1978, and Severus Snape has just boarded the train from Hogsmeade to King's Cross for the final time. Although free to carve his own path, he has much to think about; not only has Lucius Malfoy given him a year to sort out his affairs before taking the Mark, but there are rumors that Lily is engaged to be married to James Potter next summer. Much to think about, indeed.
Limitations: Snily. The timeframe for this RR is exactly one year from graduation, meaning that it has to end before, and no later than, June 1979. Participants may include time-skips if the scene prompts them to prevent the RR from going too long.
Allowed Points of View: Severus
Note: Please be sure to read our official Round Robin rules before participating. Thank you!
The Post-Grad Prince
Severus felt the familiar lurching of a train leaving its station as the horn blared through the window of the lonely cabin. It would be the last time he ever felt that sensation, and after what had occurred this year, he couldn't be happier. He wanted to say that his mind was bogged down by a myriad of thoughts, but he had to admit that there were only really two in his mind that dominated any other, and they were currently competing for dominance at his expense.
The first thought regarded Severus's career after graduation, something which he had corresponded with Lucius about. Unlike the others in his dorm, he didn't want to take the Mark so soon. He had carefully considered the consequences, and he had come to the conclusion that, should he join so soon, he would be allowed less liberty to pursue his craft or sort out his affairs, most likely due to how busy he would be. If he had a year to sort everything out, to build upon what he had already learned, it was possible he would advance higher in the ranks at a faster pace, and perhaps he would remain unsuspected long enough to build up a reputation. To this, Lucius had agreed, and based on what Regulus had told Severus, he was to be given exactly one year before he had to take the Mark.
The second thought, and the more disturbing thought, was Lily's engagement to James fucking Potter. It was bad enough that she'd started dating him near the beginning of their seventh year, only one year after the "incident", but the rumors he'd heard around the castle about a possible proposal had put him on edge. He was almost tempted to eavesdrop on Lily to check her hand, but he had enough self-awareness to know how deranged that would be. Unlike Potter, Severus wasn't a sneak.
A jolt along the tracks pulled Severus out of his head, and he saw that it was already dark, which meant they would all be arriving at King's Cross soon. He gathered his luggage, which wasn't much, and prepared to disembark. If he was lucky, he would avoid everyone he knew and make it to the Leaky Cauldron without company; he would spend the night before anything else.
He slid open the door and walked the length of the aisle passing brightly lit compartments as he reached the end of the train car. He could see the shadowy silhouettes of the occupants moving behind the sheer blinds as they gathered their belongings to prepare to leave. With a heavy thunk followed by a shrill squeal of the breaks, Severus swayed in place holding the wall to steady himself. Within the compartment to his left, he heard a low grunt of pain followed by a feminine giggle.
“Oi! You two lovebirds can wait until you’re behind closed doors for that.”
“Jealous much?”
Severus could feel the strings of his heart grow taut in anger as he gave the compartment a piercing look as he passed by. His jaw clicked shut, his heel striking the floor with each step until he reached the exit door. He fumed cursing his luck at unknowingly having the Marauders so close. The train steadily began to slow. His heart quivered in uncertainty as he heard Lily’s muffled laughter still ringing in the air.
The exit door sprang open like a starting gate and Severus zoomed past through the Platform in a blur straight to the floo. Setting down his luggage to free his hand, he fished two knuts from his pockets and tossed them in the silver bowl in front to activate it. The coins glinted dully in front of the fire before they disappeared and in its place was a shimmery green powder. He grabbed a pinch and threw it into the fire where the flames swirled into a sickly green hue. In one hurried motion, he collected his things and growled his destination. Within seconds, he could smell the sharp scent of gin before he saw the oak tables of the dimly lit room of the pub. He bowed his head as he stepped out of the floo and onto the wooden floor of the Leaky Cauldron. The ambiance contrasted with the emotions that beat erratically through his chest. With a calming breath, Severus checked in and collected the key to his room, the burst of energy he felt slowly dissipating as the soft tunes of a flute played soothingly in the background.
As he made his way up the creaky steps, he heard the flames of the floo roar up once more, followed by the sound of new patrons coming in.
"I guess I'll see you two tomorrow," a familiar voice said loudly.
Severus froze and tightened his throat to stop himself from groaning. Of all the places they could have gone, it had to be here.
"Right-o, Padfoot," Potter replied. "Have a good night."
"Do you want anything to drink?" The third voice, Lily's, made Severus feel his chest hollow out. "We were going to have a butterbeer."
"And ruin the mood?' Black asked. "Surely not, Mrs. Potter."
Severus hurried up the steps, found his room, and shut the door behind him, throwing his trunk on the bed as he felt his heart rate skyrocket. His breathing had grown heavy and restless, and it took some time pacing back and forth before he managed to calm himself. He wished Black was joking, but if not, it meant the rumors were true: Lily really was marrying Potter.
Severus sat down on the bed and ruminated, perhaps longer than he should. It was difficult to believe Lily would choose to date Potter, let alone marry him, given the latter's history at Hogwarts. Maybe, he had hidden his behavior this past year, or maybe she had accepted him for who he was; Severus hoped the latter wasn't true. Regardless, she had chosen him above all other options. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and all Severus could do was accept the fact and try to forget about her.
He checked his pocket watch and found that almost an hour had passed, and he wondered if Lily and Potter were still downstairs. If he was lucky, he could buy a bottle of firewhiskey and drink the night away, to "celebrate" his graduation. Listening carefully by the door, he determined it was safe, and he hurried out of his room and down the steps, finding Lily and Potter absent.
"How much for a bottle of whiskey?" Severus asked quickly.
"11 sickles," the barkeep replied.
Severus quickly paid and took the bottle before heading up to his room, almost running into someone who was descending. "Sorry about--" He froze as he came face-to-face with Lily.
“Sev?”
Severus’ breath caught in his throat.
He felt vulnerable. Her searching gaze tenderized the newly built wall he made to distance himself from her making it all flimsy and porous.
Mrs. Potter…
He felt some of his resolve hardened at the mental nudge.
Maybe he could get some answers.
Severus cleared his throat. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Yeah,” she chuckled but he could tell her heart wasn’t in it.
She looked in pain just being in his presence. It was a look he was all too familiar with since it was always directed at Petunia’s back.
Did she miss him like he missed her?
His heart fluttered at the thought.
“Care to,” Severus raised the bottle by the neck and swished the liquid inside enticingly, “join me and catch up?”
Lily looked over her shoulder and down the dark corridor in uncertainty. “I don’t know.”
Of course. It always came back to Potter and the rest of the Marauders.
Well, it’s not like he could force her.
He sighed. A wave of tiredness overcame him.
Perhaps he saw wrong. Maybe she didn’t miss him.
He mentally began to piece together an excuse to return to his room, ignoring the building tension in the room. A sense of finality hung in the air.
“Maybe,” Lily said abruptly before she lowered her voice to almost a whisper, “I can for a bit.”
Severus’ lips twitched. He turned his back to hide his growing smile. He beckoned her to follow him with a wave of his hand.
Did he dare to hope?
He unlocked the door of his room and invited her in. The door shut behind them as they entered.
Lily pivoted in place to face him seemingly vibrating with an emotion he couldn’t ascertain.
“You- I-.” She gnawed on her lower lip. “Sev, I- I owe you an apology. I feel positively dreadful for my actions in 5th year.”
Severus gaped. He was not expecting this.
“I heard what happened after I left and I’m ashamed it took me the better part of the summer to realize how stubborn I was being. I had a lot going on that day with talks of an impending war. Fear and anger overtook me and I redirected it at you. I still disagree with your choices in friends and political viewpoints but I must admit I handled that poorly.”
"... right," Severus managed to say as they sat down, Lily on the chair and Severus on the bed.
It was taking him longer than he cared to admit processing Lily's words, and even after the fact, he wasn't sure if he should entertain the idea of reconciliation. He knew he should've been happy that she didn't outright hate him, and that she even dared to follow him into his room, but he wasn't sure if this was a better outcome than what he feared. He opened the bottle of firewhiskey and conjured two shot glasses, pouring some for each of them; God knew he needed to be drunk for this.
"... there are rumors that you're...." Severus stopped himself, almost kicking himself for even hinting at the proposal.
"That I'm what?" Lily asked.
"Nothing." Severus downed the shot in one go, feeling his throat burn and his mind go slightly fuzzy. He had inherited too many things from his father, but a tolerance for liquor wasn't among them.
"It's about the engagement, isn't it?"
Severus remained silent, but he nodded.
"I don't know why you're bringing that up." Lily downed her glass and set it on the desk, taking the bottle to fill it up again. "You're not even responding to what I said before."
"You know how I feel about it," Severus answered, filling up his own glass again. "I came to you--"
"It's not about the word," Lily interjected. "You never seemed to get that." An expression crossed her face. "... you're still joining them, aren't you?"
Severus remained silent once more, this time unwilling to give any response. Instead, he downed another shot to dull himself.
"I--" Lily set the glass down and looked as though she would stand, but she instead remained where she was. "Look," she said, "you know you don't have to join them, right?"
"Not yet, at least." Severus eyed the bottle of firewhiskey, but stopped himself from having a third shot.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked with some concern in her voice.
"I have a year to sort out my affairs." Severus set the shot glass down. "After that, I have to join."
"No, you don't--"
"You don't get to just walk away," Severus cut in. "You expect them to be understanding, even though you think they're devils?"
His heart sank at her look of disappointment.
“Do you even listen yourself?” Lily sighed bowing her head and massaging her temples. “Why would you even align yourself with them if you knew they would trap you? They sound like thugs. They’re using you.”
His nostril flared.
There was so much he wanted to say. So much she didn’t understand.
He settled for, “We have a common purpose.”
Lily’s eyes flashed. “What to kill people like me? Have you truly thought this through?”
He should have foreseen the conversation taking a turn when he invited her.
Her eyes narrowed at his lack of response. She stood, wand in hand and closed the distance in four steps until she loomed over him.
Severus tensed, eyeing her wand warily.
She presented it to him hilt first, a challenge in her eye. “Do it then.”
Severus frowned. “Pardon?”
Lily brought it closer to his line of sight until the wand was centimeters from his face. “Do it. Kill me.”
“I thought that was what you meant. Are you mad?” Severus pushed her hand away and stood to cross the room creating more space between them.
Lily charged toward him grabbing his hand and prying his fingers open to forcibly slip her wand in.
Severus’ pulse hammered in his ears, his breathing heavy as he hyperextended his fingers until her wand clattered to the floor. “Would you stop?”
He was honestly a little afraid of her right now. She was as bullheaded as he was at times and he was starting to regret taking that extra shot.
Lily stamped her foot. “No! Not until you realize that killing me is the end goal.”
Severus snorted as he maneuvered around her. “I would never hurt you.”
Lily gripped his forearm to try manhandle him to turn and face her but he pulled free from her grasp. She kept following him. Severus was beginning to feel trapped and was contemplating leaving the room. His indecision led him to stay in place long enough for Lily to walk in front of him and meet his eyes.
“It’s not a joke, Sev.” She said seriously. “If not you then the Death Eaters you support. No amount of favors or bartering will guarantee my safety just like you can’t ensure yours if don’t join. If I die, you will inadvertently be the cause of it. That’s not you.”
Severus, finding himself unable to respond to her, let out a groan of frustration as he tried to pass her. He felt himself sway for a few steps before stopping, realizing the alcohol had started affecting his motor functions. His pulse was starting to quicken, but his buzzed state numbed him so that he barely felt it. "Lily--"
"You've got nothing," Lily continued, pushing her point. "You can't think of anything to say, can you?"
"I--"
"You want to kill mudbloods like me--"
"Don't you EVER call yourself that!" Severus shouted, turning and advancing until Lily was backed against the wall, her eyes wide with shock. Severus stopped as he realized how close he had gotten, and he took a step back. He remained silent as he averted his eyes.
"... it's not about the bloody word," Lily said, her voice lower than before. "Why can't you see that?"
Severus wished he was capable of answering her, but given how much he'd had to drink, nothing came to mind. Even if he was sober, he wasn't sure he could tell her anything that would make sense. Except, perhaps, for one.
Severus sat back down on the bed, pouring himself another shot to drink. "You've felt powerless before, right?"
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, her outrage still present but dulled.
"Powerless. Alone. Have you ever felt that?"
"... whenever I think about what your side wants to do," Lily answered.
"My... they were there for me when you weren't. The things they talked about made me think I could be more than some guttersnipe half-blood." Severus drank his shot before pouring another. "Although, in hindsight, they never helped me when Potter and Black attacked. Not like you did."
"And then you called me... that word."
"I thought it wasn't about the word?"
"You pushed me away."
"... you're right." Severus looked down at the shot glass once more. "Once you were gone, I thought they might try to step in. Lo and behold, they didn't. Not once in the two years that followed."
Lily appeared as though she was going to reply, but she paused as her brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"What?"
"You said 'in the two years that followed'."
"... and?" Severus was starting to grow confused. "I'm not sure I understand."
"But James stopped," Lily said, as though Severus had forgotten.
"... you didn't know...?"
A strange silence settled in the room. Those three words carried an implication on her character he accidentally let slip. Severus felt a sudden powershift as Lily’s green eyes widened, almost doe-like in realization.
“No.” She said, shaking her head. “He said he stopped.”
At her reaction, a dark satisfaction unfurled from within him. A seed that rooted the moment he met James Potter and his lackeys that had never had the opportunity to bloom before. He had to be careful here when discussing this topic. The root of his vindictiveness for them ran deep. He couldn’t afford to let himself go unchecked.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to tame the hatred from showing in his face, so he cast his gaze downward to the now empty shot glass so it wouldn’t be directed at Lily.
“Hogwarts was meant to be my haven. A home away from home.” He began, his thumb tracing the rim. “From the very beginning, Potter found me to be an easy target. I was impoverished, with no connections, no family background and a muggleborn for a friend. He was the first to notice when my House distanced themselves from me because I was friends with you and he found me to be a thorn to your House by association. He never won against me when it was just him, and he learned quickly to have a friend in tow when singling me out. One friend, turned to two, and two to three. Until it was four against one.”
Lily gasped. “Remus.”
Severus let out a derisive snort. “Ah yes, him. Pretty handy at tipping the balance back to their own side if I ever managed to overcome the other three.”
“I didn’t know,” she said weakly.
Severus ignored her, in favor of flicking the glass to hear its satisfying ping ring before continuing. “I reached a tentative alliance with Slytherin through a Prefect in my first year and it carried on through all of my years in Hogwarts.”
“Malfoy,” Lily breathed.
Severus nodded. “Although it was fickle, it was better than nothing… Over the years, Potter and his groupies began to get more violent until one of their so-called pranks nearly resulted in my murder.”
“What?”
“I can tell you now. I’m no longer bound to my vow to the Headmaster.”
It struck Severus just then that he hadn't even cared about the end of the vow until now. Somehow it hadn't seemed important anymore, with Lily out of his life he knew that no one would care about what had happened. But now Lily was sitting there and listening to him, no Marauders or Dumbledore to interfere and try to put the blame on him with some sort of made up story.
"Vow?" Lily asked. "Why would Professor Dumbledore keep you from telling me about a prank with a vow?"
It was the confusion in her voice that made Severus look up from the shot glass and into her green eyes. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as his mind went back to what had happened.
"During our fifth year, while you and I were still talking, Black approached me and told me how to get into the tunnel hidden under the Whomping Willow. All I had to do was press a certain knot on the violent tree and it would freeze, allowing me to find out what Lupin was up to every full moon." Severus couldn't help but snort as he shook his head at his own stupidity.
"You went down there?" The words caused Severus to open his black eyes again as he gave a brief nod.
"I was sure that if Lupin really was a werewolf, there would be more safety measures and not just a tree..." Slowly, his hand moved from the shot glass to the bottle of firewhiskey to refill his shot glass. "There was nothing else and so I found myself facing a werewolf, alone in a tunnel... That is until Potter came, as you know."
Lily sat silently opposite him, her eyes looking into his as Severus noticed that they seemed different, not the bright green they normally were but a darker one.
"He didn't come to save you, he came to make sure Remus wouldn't kill you..." The words were mumbled, but Severus understood them and nodded.
"We were taken to the Headmaster's office, Potter was praised for his bravery and given points, while Black was reminded of the consequences for Lupin. And me?" A bitter laugh escaped his lips. "Apart from the points taken and the detention, the headmaster made me vow that I wouldn't tell anyone about what had happened, or I would be expelled from Hogwarts."
